


Dreams of Broken Honor

by Darksinokari (Darksinokaru)



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom! Zack, Crisis Core Sephiroth, Cute? Whys everyone calling this cute?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Emotional Vulnerability, Graphic Language, Graphic Sex, Growing Pains (relationship wise), Heavy Angst, Heavy Feels, Heavy Subject Matter, Hojo being nasty Hojo, I swear there is a good reason why Zack is acting this way, Lots and lots of feels, M/M, Omega Verse, Romance, Sane!Sephiroth, Secrets, Self-Worth Issues, Seme Sephiroth, Sobbing, There's a LOT Of emotional hurt before the comfort comes, Top Sephiroth, Trauma, Uke Zack, Warning: Hojo (Compilation of FFVII), Zack bawling his eyes out, additional warnings at the end of chapters when needed to avoid spoilers, character exploration, complicated feelings, growing together, male omegas have outside male sex parts and female internal sex organs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darksinokaru/pseuds/Darksinokari
Summary: Zack had put his past behind him and put everything into his future; into SOLDIER. He put all his cards down on his dream. The only way to go was up, because he could not go back. But the past can never be truly left behind, only forgotten for a little while. Zack did everything for his dream. And it all shattered at his feet, right in front of Sephiroth.Sephiroth/Zack(Same logic universe as Bind It With Silk and Barbed Wire but no direct relation to it).
Relationships: Sephiroth/Zack
Comments: 151
Kudos: 110





	1. Pills

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bind It With Silk and Barbed Wire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24466264) by [Darksinokari (Darksinokaru)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darksinokaru/pseuds/Darksinokari). 



> I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any related properties. All belong to Square Enix and other respective owners. I'm just here to enjoy some Sephioth/Zack. Cuz Zack needs some Sephiroth luvin' too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack is obsessed with a packet of pills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've had this in my head for about almost two months now I think, or close to it. I was so curious to try out an ABO in the same logic universe as Bind It with the pairing changed up with a bottom/uke Zack and a premise I thought was interesting. But I wasn't sure if I should post it, so even after writing up this chapter it sat around on my computer for a while, and I decided, ah what the hell, and so here it is! There's definitely more than what's tagged, but I don't want to ruin some of the surprises I have in store for this fic. So for now, it's a little bare. And also to note, I don't know how long this will be, but I don't intend it to be terribly long. 
> 
> I hope that everyone who checks this out likes it! I feel like the writing isn't quite what I'd like, but I really enjoyed the ending here. Seems I got bit with a little bit of a Seph/Zack bug, and it still itches. lol Our puppy needs some luvin'.

The bar was quiet, playing music from the previous decade as patrons lazily nursed their drinks while the bar owner walked around behind the beaten old counter that clearly once shined with luster. Currently the bar’s only real place of activity was from where a line of infantry and a few Third Class SOLDIER’s sat. Zackary Fair, SOLDIER First Class had taken up a bar stool in the middle of the group, laughing, chatting animatedly, and breathing the only real life there was to exist in the establishment. The packet in Zack’s gloved hands crinkled as he slid the blister packet out of the dark blue sleeve he had pulled from his back pocket and popped the last one before dumping the tiny pill into his hand, tossed it into his mouth, and swallowed with a backward tip of his head.

“Poppin’ pills again? Always at night too. You on the pill or something?” his friend still stuck in Third teased and Zack barked a laugh as he gave a light hearted smack with the back of his hand to the man’s arm.

“Funny guy you are,” the First laughed as he grabbed his freshly replenished beer and drank the entire thing down in one move with the egging on of the men around him before heaving a loud sigh and thumping the empty glass down.

“Fair,” the sound of his name called by a familiar low voice with a note if disapproval met Zack’s ears and he turned in his chair to see his superior. Long silver haired framed the man’s face and fell down his chest in long, pretty streams as their eyes met, cat-like green to electric blue.

“We have to prepare for the mission tomorrow, you need to turn in, all of you,” Sephiroth, the General of Legend, informed and everyone booed, Zack included which drew an irritated twitch to the silverette’s brow as he turned away. “If you’re too tired tomorrow, I will personally punish all of you,” the General threatened and walked back out the double swing doors of the bar. Zack watched the man go for a lingering moment, sighing as he got off his stool.

“What? You going?” his friend asked, drawing the attention of everyone at the bar. 

“Yeah, I don’t wanna go through whatever torture Sephiroth has planned if I’m not with it tomorrow, so, g’night!” the First said with a back bowing stretch before giving a wave as he walked after the silverette. Zack trekked toward the town’s inn, through the door, up the stairs, and down the hall toward his personal bedroom. It seemed that the town had offered both he and Sephiroth their own room while everyone else had to bunk together, which was a total score for the First. Though not particularly shy, he preferred to have his own space if he could have it, especially when it was a bunch of dudes around him. Inside his room the bed was the first thing to be seen, and largely the only piece of furniture aside from the reclining chair by the only window on the left side of the room. 

To the right was the bathroom, which Zack had taken advantage of immediately upon his arrival to wash the stink of their hike to town away. Pulling the used up packet from his pocket the First glanced at his duffle bag on the armchair, debating for a moment before he shrugged and tossed the empty package into the waste bin by the bed. After relieving himself in the toilet Zack unbuckled all his gear and pulled his shirt and pants off before climbing under the covers of the bed, pulling the blanket free from under the edges of the bed while he was at it. Snuggling in, the First heaved a sigh, settled, and closed his eyes. 

The following morning was painfully boring. Meetings, discussions about the monsters plaguing the precious metal miners. Naturally it was a mine that ShinRa owned, and the mine was a big supplier of highly needed materials. Once they were briefed he and Sephiroth headed up the expedition with their troupe behind them. Apparently the monsters were really high level, necessitating their presence, though Zack decided he’d wait to see if that was really true. A low level beast would be terrifying enough for common people to call it high level after all. In the end, the monsters were only mid-tier and with Sephiroth there it really seemed pointless for Zack and even more redundant for their troupe to be with them. 

“Zackary?” his General called when he passed the silverette as they exited the cave, eager to wash up and get some grub. 

“Yeah?” Zack asked as he stopped and wiped some sweat from off his brow with his forearm. The silverette met up with him and leaned forward, sniffing at his fellow Fisrt and the SOLDIER stiffened. “What’s up?” Zack asked, an awkward smile cracking his lips.

“You… smell different today,” Sephiroth said, his voice a soft, lingering sound in the First’s ears. His heart picked up pace as Zack stepped back, laughing as he lifted his arm up and sniffed his underarm with a grimace. 

“Only smells like armpit to me,” the First informed, but the incredulous look on his superior’s face made his heart skip a beat as Zack spun on his heel and quickly marched forward.

“Come on! Shower time! I’ll be back to normal then!” he cheered with a fist pump. Zack walked quick the entire way back to town after that, making sure to keep some distance between himself and Sephiroth. He could feel the General’s eyes on his back, staring at him and the itch birthed in the base of his spine only made the First walk faster with the increasing rate of his heartbeat. The sooner he was his own room, the better off he’d be. When they made it to town, Zack ignored invitations to go drinking again in celebration as he made a brisk walk to the inn and upstairs to his room.

“Fair,” the First froze, back straight and tense when he heard the silverette’s boots on the stairs down behind him. Tension wound through every muscle as Zack’s heart pulsed painfully in his chest, prompting a cold sweat to break across his back.

“Be ready to be up early tomorrow, Fair, we’re shipping out first thing,” Sephiroth reminded. Zack jerked, his right shoulder twitching up as he spun around, movements stiff and jerky, even his smile seemed oddly twitchy, forced.

“Yup! I’m sure you’ll drag my ass outta bed if I’m not!” the First declared, only realizing afterword that he had been almost yelling. The silverette’s expression grew curious again as he stared up at his subordinate as a nervous laugh crawled from the back of Zack’s throat before he spun around and quickly walked down the hall, unlocked his door, and stepped inside before closing it behind him and leaning against the barrier. He took in a deep breath and held it until a wave of dizziness assaulted his senses as his heart pulsed rapidly in his chest before releasing it, relaxing as he did so. Zack’s eyes slid to the armchair as he pushed from the door, unlatched the buster sword from its binding on his back and leaned it against the wall before he walked over to the chair before unzipping his duffle bag and rooting around inside it. 

“I know I got one in here,” he muttered as he ruined all of his previous neat folding and placement of his underwear and socks, but the more his fingers scraped the bottom of the canvas bag and the soft texture of cotton, anxiety began to twist his heart. “Come on!” Zack hissed as dropped onto his knees and started to toss his clothes to the floor, uncaring before he grabbed his duffle bag and shook the contents out of it entirely. When it was empty he searched through the clothes on the chair, his expression growing tighter and tighter as his brows drew up into a worry that bled into fear. Finding nothing, Zack leaned back on his feet, groaning as his hands gloved ran up over his face and into his hair before grabbing the roots. 

“Oh, man,” he moaned, voice high and tense before he spotted one of the pockets on the side looking puffed out like something might be in it. Jerking forward Zack shoved his hand inside and pulled out an ancient materia manual he had forgotten even existed. Frustrated the First tossed it hard to the side and started to check the other pockets. In the last pocket Zack felt the familiar bumpy texture of the pill packet sleeve and his heart swelled in glee as he jerked it out, confirming with his gaze the identifiable blue sleeve. 

“Ahah!” Zack cheered as he pulled the blister pack out and his heart dropped into his stomach. It was used up, empty.


	2. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though he hoped it wouldn't come, it does, and Zack falls victim to the machinations of his body, right in front of Sephiroth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has left comments and kudos. I know this isn't exactly a popular pairing, but I hope that those of who do like it or decide to check it out, enjoy.
> 
> I wonder for anyone reading this if I need to "hide" what's wrong with Zack. lol Once again, thank you so much to everyone who has checked out this work. 
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) who pointed out all of the confusing moments and my abuse of commas.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Zack paced around his bedroom, muttering and groaning as his boots thumped over the floorboards. It was dark out now, necessitating the lamp by the bed to be on even though the light it provided was dim, but enough to cast the SOLDIER’s pacing shadow on the wall moving back and forth through the room.

“Oh, shit. I’m so screwed,” the First groaned, voice cracking apart in his mounting distress which further announced itself by the heavy creasing of his brow. Zack finally stopped pacing and let himself plop onto the end of the bed, shaking it as he leaned forward on his forearms, still groaning as sweat misted his body. Maybe, somehow, by some stroke of merciful luck, it wouldn’t come until he was back home in his apartment. He could ask for a vacation then, just a week was enough. He couldn’t afford to be caught now, not now. Standing up and taking deep, hardly calming breaths judging by how viciously his heart raced, Zack turned his stricken eyes to the bathroom. A shower, a shower would help him calm down and maybe help dull his scent. The First walked briskly into the bathroom, flipped the light on, stripped out of his gear and uniform before he turned the hot water on and stepped under the spray.

It was scalding almost and Zack grit his teeth against it as his skin flushed bright red before he, after a lingering moment, adjusted the temperature to a cooler temperature. After that he used the body wash he’d brought with him and scrubbed his body, going over himself repeatedly, not stopping until he was a giant cloud of soap suds, his brow still creased as he washed the soap off of his tense muscles. His hair was next, and he made sure to wash that just as ardently, groaning in building distress. After washing his face multiple times, the SOLDIER found nothing else to clean, and so with nothing better to do, Zack turned the shower off, exited, dried and dressed into a clean pair of boxers. Glancing at his phone on the made bed and then at the clock by the bed he ignored the letters reading out ten in the evening and picked up his phone before punching in a number.

“Come on, please, pick up,” Zack hissed. “I know it’s late you jerk, but I need you to pick up this time!” the First growled in frustration as the phone rang endlessly before the answering machine picked up and the SOLDIER hung up. Running his right hand up over his face and through his hair yet another groan passed his lips. He was so screwed. The First found himself pacing again, this time around the side of the bed he intended to sleep on. For a moment he debated on not sleeping, simply staying awake all night and hoping that everything would be okay; afraid to close his eyes in case somehow, being asleep brought misfortune upon him.

Zack sat on the edge of the bed and sighed, head hung in defeat. Staying awake wouldn’t change anything, he knew that. It would be best to at least rest in bed, even if he didn’t actually sleep. After he laid down Zack found himself rolling over constantly, mind racing in thoughts about what was to come. He couldn’t stop rethinking his day, the days previous, imagining the coming morning and worrying about what was going to become of him in the future. Anxious energy seized his muscles, making it nearly impossible to relax at all. He wanted to get out, to run outside, fight something, do fucking squats, anything to pass the time. But it was getting so hot, and the First groaned in distress with the continued thundering of his heart. He was sweating like crazy and it was hard to tell if it was from stress or his impending condition. All night Zack rolled around, not sleeping, not even relaxing as painful throbbing swelled his balls and cock, his ass humiliatingly wetting his boxers. Without a doubt, he was about to be screwed helpless by the entire world.

“Fair, it’s time to get up,” Sephiroth’s voice broke into the darkness of the stuffy room. The sun hadn’t even come up yet and of course the General was there to wake him. Zack groaned and twisted in his disarrayed blanket, ignoring the voice on the other side of his door. He was so screwed. Hot pressure built up in the First’s eyes; no, soon to be former First, and his jaw clenched tight as his fists tightened their hold on his blanket. It was so bad, the painful throb between his legs. He hadn’t succumbed to touching himself yet, but the need was becoming unbearable.

“Zackary Fair, wake up!” the sound of Sephiroth’s impatient voice drew a low groan from Zack as he forced himself upright, vision swaying, which caused the SOLDIER to sway himself.

“I’m sick!” Zack shouted, voice unsteady. It went quiet for a long moment before the door knob rattled and the SOLDIER felt his heart surge in his chest as a small bout of saliva began to pool in his mouth. He was starting to pick on it, on the delicious aroma that wafted in through the door. Fuck.

“Zackary, open the door,” Sephiroth ordered and bedroom occupant remained in place, wishing, praying that somehow the silverette would just give up and leave. “If you don’t let me in I will use my copy of the key,” Sephiroth threatened and Zack whimpered as he flopped back onto the bed and pulled his blankets up over his head. It was over. It really was. He couldn’t stop his superior from getting inside when he had a key, which he had agreed to let him have specifically to wake him up, and in his current state he would definitely not be able to block the door, hell, if he got much closer that dick throbbing, drool inducing scent would only make his knees weaker. Zack curled into a ball, every muscles wound tight and shaking in strain as his teeth creaked in his mouth while tears pricked the corners of his hot eyes. The door lock twisted and Zack felt a sob hit the back of his throat when he heard the barrier swing open.

“What’s wrong with you, Fair? You know with mako treatments you can’t catch sick. Did you stay up all night again?” Sephiroth asked, that cool, calm irritation that only he seemed able to produce in his voice as he stepped into the room, and as soon as two steps could be heard over the floorboards it went dead silent.

“Zackary?” The confusion in the silverette’s voice twisted a knife into Zack’s heart even as the wonderful, almost exotic spice of Sephiroth’s clean musk scent pressed around the SOLDIER, making his cock wet the front of his boxers while his ass made the back situation even worse. Oh, God, how he hated it. Zack pressed his legs to his chest, pinning his erection against his belly.

“Wh-” Sephiroth’s voice cut off and the SOLDIER in bed whimpered again. “How the hell-” there was a choking sound and a quick backtrack of footfalls.

“Zackary,” the silverette called again, an odd note of tension to his voice as Zack forced himself to come out of hiding and sat up on his hip, one hand to the mattress as he turned toward Sephiroth, and his dizzy vision half focused on Sephiroth. So many things he could say, like he was sorry. And the words touched the tip of his salivating tongue, but what came out was something else entirely, though perhaps far more honest.

“Please, help me,” Zack pleaded, voice trembling as sweat rolled down his back and chest while a shiver wracked his large frame. Sephiroth’s hand was pressed over his mouth where two fingers pinched his nose like the scent emanating from his fellow SOLDIER was repulsive. Even in the dark it was easy to see that the silverette was trying to keep his distance. Sephiroth suddenly turned toward the door, walked out and slammed it hard behind him. Zack’s frowning lips trembled as twin trickles of water fled down his cheeks with the painful squeezing of his heart. 

It really was over. Sephiroth knew. There was no getting around it. No running away from it. Hell, if he tried to run now, there was no guarantee he’d get away. Zack threw himself face first into his pillow with a pitiful groan and slid his right hand down his belly as he rose up onto his knees. It was over, there was no point in resisting, so he may as well try and relieve the unbearable ache made worse by the lingering, teasing scent of alpha in the room.

Shoving his hand into his boxers and pressing his forehead into his pillow, Zack wrapped his calloused hand around his leaking cock and gave himself a hard jerk, which tore a gasp of pleasure passed his lips when the stroke struck a powerful pulse of pleasure to his balls and his ass as it wet more and slick dribbled down his legs. Panted moans broke from his lips even as the hot pressure in his eyes increased, water soaking into the pillow as he rapidly jerked himself, stroking his dick hard and fast as his toes pressed hard into the mattress. It felt so good. He was going to cum, pitifully, and despite the repulsion of the idea Zack’s wrist worked faster as pre-cum slicked his cock to aid in faster sliding.

Orgasm pulsed hotter, tighter inside him, through his balls and cock, and with one hard thumbing of the head of his dick orgasm pulsed hard through Zack before a harsh ejection of cum splattered the sheet beneath him, tearing a shrill, sobbed gasp from the back of his throat while a rush of slick slid down his inner thighs and down over his balls and dick. His cock softened in his grip and Zack sank boneless onto his stomach, but already he could feel a slight pulse in his cock which hadn’t quite softened, making his position uncomfortable. That spot inside him throbbed too, and though it was so damn tedious to touch it, Zack rolled onto his side and pulled his arm behind his back, struggling to twist his arm to allow his fingers to touch the slick muscles of his twitching hole.

The door opened and Zack froze as he turned his glazed eyes toward the door. He could barely focus, but the potent smell of alpha musk filled the air, immediately stiffening his cock and making him more wet around his attempting to probe fingers as he watched the door close. A groan passed from the SOLDIER’s lips as he turned his face away, shivering as he pulled his hand away from his ass and grabbed the blanket, though he didn’t bother to cover himself again. It was Sephiroth, even with only a blurry and swayed glance he could tell that much, if anything because of that long hair and his dark clothes, and of course, that tantalizing smell.

“Zackary, I will help you,” Sephiroth said, his voice tense and breath careful. A jolt hit Zack’s heart and the SOLDIER turned his face again as he sat up to stare at his superior. “But only if you answer every single question I have.”

“What do you wa-”

“Not now,” the silverette cut off, a hiss in his words.

“Just give me your word. Promise me, Zackary, that you will answer every single question I have, no matter how much it troubles you,” Sephiroth asked again and Zack nodded without a thought, uncaring. He was screwed anyway, there was no way he could still be in SOLDIER. Even though he had more than proven himself, he was going to be kicked out, maybe even court martialed. But at this moment, he just didn’t care, all he wanted was to feel something in him, rubbing him, stimulating him, making the brutal, aching throbs go away so that he could finally have control of himself again.

“Okay,” Zack panted, finding it hard to keep his breath even when his heart raced so fast, so hard in the excitement of the smell that smothered him. He watched, his aching, swollen cock tenting his boxers as Sephiroth unbuckled and removed all of his armor and clothing, which dropped to the floor, loud in his ears.


	3. Burning Beneath the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth helps Zack out, but despite the intense waves of maddening heat there are glimpses of something dark in Zack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has left comments and kudos. I know this isn't exactly a popular pairing, but I hope that those of who do like it or decide to check it out, enjoy.
> 
> Trying to subtly convey what I'm wanting in this chapter has been difficult. I hope I managed to do it all right. Once again, thank you so much to everyone who has checked out this work. 
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) who pointed out all of the confusing moments and my abuse of commas.
> 
> I hope everyone who reads enjoys.

“Turn around, Fair,” Sephiroth ordered as his body was made bare in the darkness of the bedroom, and though the tone stung a bit, Zack did as was ordered. He knew how it all went down and pushed the blanket away as he pulled his boxers off and let them drop to the floor before getting on his knees and facing the wall. Wanting some modicum of comfort, the SOLDIER grabbed all of the large pillows on his bed and stacked them before wrapping his arms around them and putting his face down. Sephiroth could make him face away all he wanted, but he’d be comfortable dammit. He had a week of this to go and he was going to do whatever it took to get through it as comfortably as possible. The bed shook with no doubt, Sephiroth’s body crawling on top and Zack’s skin prickled as a shudder zipped down his spine.

“Lift your head for a second,” Sephiroth ordered and curiously the SOLDIER did so when the smell of leather invaded his nostrils before something rough, a belt he realized, wrapped around his neck before he felt it buckle behind his head.

“Wh-”

“I don’t want to accidentally bite you,” the silverette stated patently and after a brief moment the tugging on it stopped, allowing Zack to plant his face again. An itch at the base of his spine picked at the SOLDIER making him want to squirm away, and when he felt Sephiroth’s hands slid down his back, Zack sucked in a sharp breath as a fresh wave of drool filled his mouth which he swallowed down. A fearful shudder spread over his skin and he clenched his sphincter as his hands grabbed the pillows in tight fists even while his cock throbbed and his ass wet. Sephiroth smelled so fucking good; an intimate, alluring scent that made his heart race and his body throb in want, but his brain wasn’t falling under the hypnotic sway quite as easily. It was always like that, while some omegas just lost themselves to their heat with wild abandon, Zack always held onto the edges of something solid, which kept him grounded and all too aware. There were other omegas he’d heard that had trouble just going with it too, and whether it was just from life experiences or something else, Zack certainly wasn’t one who could just lose it and roll in the pleasure, no matter how much he wished he could.At least, not initially. 

Sephiroth’s hands slid to the globes of his ass and the SOLDIER’s jaw clenched as he took in a deep breath through the nose, relaxing himself as he released it. Funny how easy he’d come to the conclusion to finger himself and now that he had the chance to be properly sated he was anxious. The sound of a wrapper crinkling hit Zack’s ears and he felt his heart rate surge in his chest as the sound shrieked with a rip before a soft, pleasured breath floated up from behind him. The sound tickled his ears and made his dick throb as his ass wet while excitement welled up high for a frantic moment before zapping from him when he felt hands caress his hindquarters again.

“Have you actually done this before? Or have you locked yourself up during your heats in the past?” Sephiroth asked and Zack worked to force his jaw to move, to get his voice to work.

“A long time ago,” the SOLDIER forced out with an unnatural quiver to his voice.

“I see,” the silverette answered in a breathy, lust accentuated voice. “Then I’ll try to be gentle.” A gasp caught in Zack’s throat when he felt a finger rub at the wet ring of muscles before it pushed inside him, causing him to squirm a little even though his body swallowed the digit easily.

“Gods, Zackary, how the hell did I never smell this?” Sephiroth asked, breath growing deeper as the timber of his voice lowered while his finger felt around inside his subordinate until he pressed down on a firm patch of flesh and a moan broke unexpectedly from Zack’s mouth as his muscles clenched around the digit while a wave of pleasure spread through the SOLDIER’s balls to his cock which shot a short burst of pre-cum onto the bed.

“Pills,” his subordinate gasped as the finger rubbed against that spot in repeated motions and Zack whimpered in pleasure as he rode each wave, rocking back onto the probing digit. A groan of pleasure slithered into the air from behind the SOLDIER before the finger slipped free, cutting off the build of pleasure and inducing a brief stab of frustration into Zack’s chest. Hands grabbed his hips, birthing an uncomfortable twitch in his pelvis as a chill raced up his spine. The wet head of the General’s rubber capped cock pushed against his slicked hole and Zack trembled as the engorged organ pushed forward, pulling a gasp from deep in his throat as his hole spread open around the silverette’s breaching cock. A soft groan of pleasure filled the air from Sephiroth’s lips as the thick length of his dick speared his subordinate open, stretching the slick flesh wide around him. The pressure sliding against his sweet spot shot rapid, incessant sparks of pleasure through Zack as the heat in his body climbed higher, encouraging sweat to roll down his body in thick rivulets as his dick drooled helplessly between his legs.

“Se-Seph,” the First moaned as he twisted his head to try and see over his shoulder at the silverette that stood on his knees behind him, hands tight on his hips as pleasure tensed the planes of his face while his hips pressed against the round of his subordinate’s ass.

“Because I’ve never,” Sephiroth said, voice shaking slightly with some sort of effort, “had an omega, I fear harming you.” The silverette finally got out and the SOLDIER groaned as he turned his face back forward and shoved it into his pillow.

“Imf-f fimf,” muffled from the pillows.

“I can’t understand you, Zackary,” Sephiroth said in a heavy breath and Zack lifted his face.

“It’s fine. I’m not fragile,” The SOLDIER said, rocking forward up the length of Sephiroth’s cock and then sliding back against the silverette with a low moan, which drew a grunt from the man as his hands tensed on his subordinate. “If I was frail, I wouldn’t have ever made it to First,” Zack added in pant laced words. It was silent a moment, still, and the SOLDIER was about to look back over his shoulder again when Sephiroth’s cock slid backward until just the head remained and a low, shuddering breath of pleasure worked from Zack’s mouth before the silverette punched his hips forward, driving his cock hard into his subordinate and a cry broke apart in Zack’s mouth when his body pitched forward.

“Then I will do what I want,” Sephiroth growled and the SOLDIER scarcely had time to push his face into his pillows and grab hold before the General’s dick quickly pumped hard and fast back and forward through the clenching muscles of Zack’s hole. Pleasure snaked all through the SOLDIER, swelling his balls further as maddening hot pulses of pleasure struck his leaking, bouncing cock. Greedy hisses of breath hit the air behind Zack as his superior pounded his dick hard into his ass, rubbing obsessively hard against his prostate as the tight build of orgasm twisted sharp and painfully rapid while he rocked in rapid short bursts on his knees, forcing the mattress to creak beneath them. It was too hot, too fast the way pleasure coursed through Zack’s already burning body. With a strained, muffled cry orgasm tore through the SOLDIER as a shudder zipped through his sweaty, tensed muscles while cum shot onto the bedding from his twitching cock. A growl hit the air behind his head and Zack gasped when Sephiroth rode him harder, almost crushing his body as his cock jerked inside him with furious urgency while breath puffed hard against the back of his head.

“Zack,” the guttural growl of his name was followed by a low, undulating moan as the General’s hips snapped forward and tensed as orgasm shook the silverette’s muscles before Zack felt Sephiroth jerk against him. Curious, he turned hazy blue eyes over his shoulder to look at the man behind him and his heart squeezed in his chest as Zack beheld the alpha, head pulled back, jaw open and face tense where two long, narrow fangs slid down from his gum line while two short canines poked from his bottom row of teeth.. Zack gawked as his breath wheezed from his throat, eyes rounded at a sight he had never actually seen. Veins raised prominent down Sephiroth’s temples, along his jaw and down to somewhere around the bottoms of his ears. The silverette was tensed, jaw bouncing as the silverette fought with the desire to snap his teeth, his fangs, into something. The SOLDIER could only wonder how bad it would be for Sephiroth to close his mouth when he had nothing to bite, and worse, how painful it was to fight the impulse. Finally, a hard shudder worked through the General’s frame and Zack watched, gripped by a wave of discomfort as the fangs slid back into the gums of the silverette’s jaw before finally, the tension bled from his features and Sephiroth was able to finally close his flat teeth and relax his jaw. When the silverette looked back down, their eyes met and held for a long moment, tired blue meeting pupil blown green. Zack had seen alpha eyes dilate wide before, but it was unreal to see the cat-like slits of his superiors pupils to blow into wide open circles surrounded by only a thin stroke of green.

“That looks kinda scary,” Zack said as his superior relaxed his body and eased his still wrapped cock free from Zack’s ass. The SOLDIER let himself sink onto his hip, leaning against the spilled forward pillows to face his sex partner as Sephiroth slid the condom off his soft dick and tied it before tossing it into the trash bin by the bed.

“Feeling better, Fair?” the General asked, voice rough and dry.

“Not exactly, I gotta week of this,” Zack answered as a fresh new wave of anxiety punched him in the chest and the silverette nodded, which prompted a furrowing of the SOLDIER’s brow as he wrapped his arms around himself to fight a shudder. “What did you say to ShinRa? I mean, I can’t leave this room,” he asked while Sephiroth moved to the edge of the bed and set his bare feet down on the wood flooring. Somehow the movement had puffed a wave of the General’s scent his way and Zack clenched his teeth to fight another hard shudder as he swallowed another bout of drool even as his freshly relieved cock stirred.

“Food poisoning. It’s a pathetic excuse, but it was at least somewhat believable for even a mako enhanced SOLDIER to fall prey to severe food poisoning,” the silverette explained. “So, now Director Lazard gets to imagine you exploding from both ends for a couple days. And naturally, I asked for some time to let you recover to excuse the week-long stay,” the General said as he stood up and padded his way to the bathroom, long hair swaying behind his back as he walked. And though he wasn’t trying to, Zack thought he caught sight of some plumpness returning to his superior’s dick when he had stood from the bed. The SOLDIER looked down, a deep frown turning his lips.

“Let me know when your symptoms worsen again, I’m going to shower,” Sephiroth informed and the SOLDIER lifted his face to stare at the back of the man’s head as the sensation of heat slowly settling over his body prodded him to say something.

“A shower? Is it necessary?” Zack asked, feeling slightly kicked to be left alone almost immediately after finishing sex.

“If I don’t, I might end up fucking you when you’re not ready,” the silverette answered and his subordinate felt a painful pinch in his heart. Could Sephiroth not smell that he was already ready to go? But then the real question was, did he want to? The teasing pulses in his cock and ass said yes, but the crawling in his skin said no. “You should know just how enticing your scent is.” Sephiroth said despite the fact of his apparent ability to disregard an omega’s heat scent in that very room. But then again, he had been on pills with the explicit intention of hiding his omega scent in all forms. Even though clearly the man smelled it, perhaps it wasn’t strong enough just yet, perhaps Zack needed to be torturously horny for the scent to really pull at the silverette.

After that, Sephiroth closed the bathroom door and the light flipped on. Alone, Zack pulled his knees to his chest and huddled over, rubbing his arms with his hands as another shiver ran down his spine while his vision swayed. His jaw clenched as hot pressure built up in his eyes. His hands stopped when tension would through his muscles, fingernails digging into his arms until dark crescent indents marked his skin. He was getting even hotter, his cock was starting to swell, and his ass was still wet. A frustrated whine slithered from his throat as Zack pulled his face down and huddled over his knees.

“I hate being an omega.”

~~~~

By the time Sephiroth was out of the shower, which had been rather quick, begging questions of what he had actually done other than maybe stand under the spray, Zack was groaning and panting on his side. The silverette joined him immediately in bed, smothered by the powerful scent of heat that stiffened his cock as his hands roamed and encouraged his subordinate to get up on his knees again. Once his dick was gloved, Sephiroth breached Zack again and rode the SOLDIER until both climaxed. After that the General did not leave the bed again unless for a short moment to either use the bathroom or the one time he attempted to get Zack to eat. But the SOLDIER refused food, instead opting to beg for relief as his heat took a stronger hold of him and robbed him of his senses. Even when Sephiroth sought food himself, scarce and small as the meals were, Zack’s face was in his lap, sucking his dick, which made swallowing difficult. Nights were sparse of sleep, and though Zack did drink plenty of water after being chided by his General, he still did not eat.

“Please, I can’t wait.” … “It’s nothing special.” … “It hurts.” … “It’s what omegas are for, right?” … “It’s not a big deal.” … “Please, please help me.” … “It’s just a hole, do what you want.” The words flew from Zack’s lips without thought through the week, urging and encouraging while dismissing any question Sephiroth ever posed as if the young omega was swinging from one emotional state to another.

The morning of the fifth day was one of far more coherent calm, Sephiroth even felt confident enough in his control to allow his subordinate to go without the holster belt around his neck. Zack was more careful about his words, and had gone rather quiet unless moans spilled from his mouth when he was stretched open and made full on his superior’s cock. They had sex a lot less that day, and the tension that had been present at the start of his heat was back. And after a full night’s rest, Sephiroth woke his subordinate up just as the sun was breaking.

“It’s time to go, Zackary. Pack up,” the silverette informed from where he stood in the room, fully geared up, and the SOLDIER groaned as he rubbed his left hand over his face.

“What about my smell?” Zack muttered, still drowsy.

“I’ve made some arrangements. You’ll have to do exactly what I say and avoid all other SOLDIERS,” Sephiroth informed as his subordinate sat up in bed.

“And Zackary,” the silverette said, drawing mako blue eyes to his face, “there is no way you can stay in SOLDIER,” Sephiroth informed and Zack’s face pinched in pain as he looked away, strong shoulders tensing, but the General ignored the crestfallen look as he turned away from his soon to be former subordinate.

“And I also expect that you answer every single question I have, and I don’t care how you feel about them.” With that, Sephiroth walked to the door, unlocked it, and stepped out before closing it behind him. Zack sat in bed, staring at the door with a forlorn gaze as heat built up behind his eyes, magnified by the painful pulse of his heart.

“Well, Zack, you’re about to get your comeuppance,” Zack said to himself, voice quivering as he forced himself to pull the blankets off and put his feet to the floor. Face falling into his hands he doubled over, rocking slightly. “My life is over.”


	4. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack must expose the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! A new chapter here! I hope everyone who reads enjoys! And thank you so much to everyone who has been showing support thus far!
> 
> A punch to the gut of angst in this one.
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) for helping with this chapter!

Zack felt a buzz in his pocket and pulled his phone out when he finished stuffing his clothes into his duffle bag while tossing a towel from off his head. On the screen read Sephiroth's name with the message of: come outside the inn. I’ll be waiting

With a frown the SOLDIER sighed, turned the screen off, stood up as he slid his hands through the handles, and hefted the bag onto his shoulder. With a heavy heart and mournful sigh Zack’s boots thumped across the floor before he paused at the door and cast his eyes at the unmade bed, pain twisting in his chest in memory of all that had transpired the past week. Pulling his eyes from the sight, the brunette opened his door and stepped through. His feet were heavy as lead as he walked down the hell before going down the short staircase. The young woman at the desk smiled at him when he approached before the look on her face became confused as her nose lifted into the air and she gave a soft sniff. Grimacing, Zack hurried forward, dropped the key on the counter with a forced twitch of a smile before he backpedaled and hurried to the front door. Stepping outside in the low light of breaking dawn, the SOLDIER smelled his superior to his right before he turned his head and beheld the sight of Sephiroth standing still, arms crossed over his stomach. Their eyes met, green against blue, and Zack turned his eyes to his feet with tension to his brow.

“You will walk with me, Zackary,” the silverette ordered and brunette nodded as he stepped up to the man’s side, the strong smell of alpha saturating his nose. He hadn’t noticed it so much before, maybe the pills had been fucking with his sense of smell too. Sephiroth walked through the quiet town as Zack adjusted his duffle bag on his shoulder while the two neared the clearing that their helicopters were already waiting.

“Stop.” Zack’s feet froze on command as a couple of Thirds passed by the back of the closest helicopter and the brunette felt his heart race in panic as an icy chill ran down his spine and he glanced around them. He hadn’t felt so fucking vulnerable since he was a kid.

“Move,” Sephiroth ordered and the two resumed their trek to the closest chopper that the silverette motioned for him to climb into. With a grit of his teeth, Zack climbed in and stowed his duffle bag into the basket beneath his seat before he sat down and buckled himself in, heart slamming in his chest as a cold sweat he realized broke out across his skin. A few anxious minutes later that had the brunette’s right knee bouncing, Sephiroth pulled himself inside, slid and locked the door, and sat down as their pilot climbed in through the pilot side door.

“Everyone here?” Zack asked, voice cracking slightly as the silverette buckled himself in.

“Yes. The other chopper is at max capacity, but if we’re going to talk, I needed us to have privacy,” Sephiroth said as his eyes slid to the other side door. “Close that up so that we can take off.” Immediately the brunette unbuckled, closed and latched the door, and sat down to buckle up in rushed, anxious moments. Once everyone was settled and the chopper was alive and lifting into the air, the silverette fixed his subordinate with his cold gaze while the brunette’s gloved hands grabbed his knees so hard it almost hurt, but no matter how hard his fingers dug into the joint, it didn’t calm the frantic race of his heart.

“Alright, Fair. I want to know just what you did to get into SOLDIER,” Sephiroth demanded and Zack grimaced as his heart dropped into his clenching stomach.

“I,” the brunette’s heart twisted, prompting Zack to discover it was hard to steady his breathing. His arms shook from the tension that worked through his muscles and the silverette puffed out through his nose as he turned his face away slightly, fingers touching his nose.

“You’re scent is spiking, Zackary,” Sephiroth informed and a whine of frustration worked from the back of Zack’s tight throat.

“Well, I can’t help that!” ther brunette hissed, brows drawing up tight in distress.

“Calm down, Zack,” the silverette said and anger swelled hot through the SOLDIER’s chest.

“Calm down?! How can I calm down?! I know I’m fucked!” Zack gasped as his eyes swelled hot with tears.

“Zack, your sweat,” Sephiroth said, tension in his voice as he leaned away from the SOLDIER by him. A bitter chuckle poured from Zack as his hands ran through his hair and grabbed at the roots.

“I can’t help that either. I’m a fucking disaster no matter what I do. It’s why I went on those pills,” the brunette said in an unsteady voice.

“Zackary.” Zack ignored the tone of warning in the silverette voice as he sniffled and leaned forward, seeking comfort in the position.

“I faked everything,” the brunette blurted. It needed to be over. Maybe if he just spilled his guts the pain would stop. “My birth certificate. My medical records,” Zack explained, voice hitching. “I even fooled the ShinRa doctor’s by inserting a tube of alpha blood in my arm for them to draw from. And the pills I took, I got them from a shady ass doctor in Wall Market.” Tension filled the air, growing thicker and more oppressive the longer no sound came from Sephiroth.

“How?” the silverette said in a tense, borderline angry voice.

“How what?” Zack asked, anguish in his words.

“How did you fake your birth certificate?” Sephiroth asked, a bite to his words despite the oddly calm nature of his tone.

“There was a bad fire in Gongaga about six months before I left. We were about to transition to digital, but an electrical fire engulfed the records office. It’s a small town, so they just sent out a request for people to come in with an ID and refile their information,” Zack paused to collect himself. He could still remember how scared he was, walking into town hall with the fake ID he’d ordered online. Luckily the person he’d seen was a beta and didn’t know him personally, and so Zack went through the process with relative ease, even if his anxiety had been through the roof. “I used a fake ID when I’d put in my information, and I didn’t get caught.”

“Then I came to Midgar. I searched out a place where I could secretly get some pills that would completely get rid of my smell and heat. I found Dr. Rade in Wall Market, and he agreed to sell me some,” Zack explained and Sephiroth’s hand grabbing his arm jerked alarmed blue eyes to the slits of his superior’s green.

“Doctor Gregory Rade?” Sephiroth asked, voice tense for an entirely different reason. The brunette frowned as he watched those slitted pupils stretch out and close more than once, almost like the silverette was fighting something.

“Yeah? He said he treated a lot of omegas that didn’t want to be identified, which was exactly what I wanted,” Zack answered, heart stuttering when the grip on his bicep tightened as the silverette’s brows tightened, lips dipping in clear anger as his eyes hardened in displeasure.

“He’s been arrested, Zackary,” Sephiroth informed and Zack jerked up straight, eyes wide as his heart thrummed in his chest.

“What?” he gasped softly.

“His drugs have been linked to many omegas developing serious health conditions and even cancer,” the silverette informed and Zack’s lips parted as shock spread across his face.

“Really?” It was a dumb question, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking and, perhaps humoring him, Sephiroth nodded. Zack’s brow furrowed in distress as he sank back into his seat as the hand on his arm relaxed and left him.

“You’re going to need to have a medical exam, a proper one to check for ovarian cancer,” the silverette informed and Zack’s face tightened in mounting stress as he lifted his hands to his face and whined into them.

“This fire, was it really just an electrical fire?” Sephiroth asked after a moment of silence, tone cautious, and Zack jerked his hands from his face as a wave of offense filled his chest.

“You accusing me?” the brunette gasped as he turned a glare toward the silverette that immediately washed away under the cold look he was given.

“Only six months before you left? You were willing to fake everything, I presume to get into SOLDIER, so why should I not wonder?” Sephiroth asked and anger spiked through Zack.

“Well, I didn’t! I took advantage of it! And yeah, maybe that makes me a shitty person! But I would never do something like that!” Zack yelled, hands balling into shaking fists.

“All to get into SOLDIER?” Sephiroth asked, voice icy cold. The brunette sucked in a deep breath, eyelids fluttering as a sudden wave of hot water blurred his vision before it all withered away and Zack jerked his face away from the silverette, shoulders tense.

“What’s wrong with that? I knew I could do it. I was born an omega, but I was never a normal omega. Everyone knew I was weird, that I didn’t fit in as one. I got that shit every fucking day. Too big. Too manly. Too strong. Too fast. Too ugly,” Zack said, voice shaking until it broke apart with a small fight against a growing sob as the brunette violently wiped his forearm across his eyes.

“I knew I could make SOLDIER. I knew I could, and I did!”

“Did you?” Sephiroth asked, voice frigid and Zack’s shoulders tensed up higher, another nasty bite of anger swelling within him, this time hotter.

“I never cheated anything with SOLDIER!” the brunette roared as he turned to face the silverette, leveling him with a heated glare that he refused to back down from even with the cold, almost callous way he was being regarded. “I lied to get in. I lied to stay in, but I never cheated my skills! I trained hard like everyone else! I worked hard every day! I did all I could prove myself! And Angeal recognized my-”

“I wonder what Angeal would think of all your lies,” Sephiroth cut in, voice sharp, and the brunette’s lips slapped shut, once again doused with a wave of icy cold water before he averted his eyes to the chopper floor.

“You never told him, I’m guessing. He would have never approved of lying. You committed massive fraud Zackary,” the silverette admonished and Zack whined, brows twisting.

“I know,” the brunette said in a shaky breath.

“Do you realize just how hefty a punishment awaits you?” Sephiroth asked and Zack whimpered as he wrapped his arms around himself, nails biting into his skin.

“Please, can we not tell anyone?” the brunette asked, still looking away from the silverette.

“I can’t. A First can’t simply quit, you know that. You signed the contract. And without that… medication altering your hormones, you will be found out instantly,” Sephiroth informed, hitting Zack with the full, painful truth. “You will have the rest of the ride to make peace with yourself. You will undoubtedly be court martialed and you will have to accept your punishment, no matter what it is.” Pain lanced through Zack’s heart as it quivered in his chest and the brunette finally stopped fighting it, leaned forward, and sobbed into his hands. It was over. He was getting what he deserved for all his lies. It poured out of him, verbalized by his sobs and materialized through his tears as he rocked in his seat slightly as he cried. Everything was over. It was all over. His dreams, all his hard work, it was all shattered apart at his feet.

“I was a good SOLDIER, wasn’t I?” Zack asked, voice high and cracking as sweat misted his skin. When no answer came, the brunette shuddered hard and sobbed even harder.

“You were,” the sound of Sephiroth’s voice, strained and breathy hitting the air almost startled Zack. “An excellent SOLDIER, and good First. But that won’t erase your wrongs.”

The brunette nodded, the action slow and timid. Eventually Zack’s hands went into his hair, grabbing the roots into fists until he felt the pull in his scalp from where he remained doubled over, chest so heavy it was hard to breathe. The pressure remained in his eyes, bottom lip trembling, but at the very least, Zack had been able to stop the crying.

Sephiroth was completely right. He had lied to everyone, even Angeal. He knew all along what he was doing was wrong. He had forged so many documents, met with so many shady people he’d secretly passed gil to, like a criminal, because he was one. It’d been one thing to challenge the status quo, but he had decided to dive into Midgar’s seedy underbelly and cheat the system. He remembered what Sephiroth had said about the pills and he felt his heart twist in anxiety. He had probably more than doubled his chances of cancer now. He could have died on those pills when he took them, he had even worried about it at first in knowing that what he was taking was not medication that had actually been proven safe. But he had wanted it so bad, wanted to prove that he could do it so much that he had ignored it every time his gut told him to pull back and turn away from all the wrongs he was committing. He ignored his conscience at every turn, turned his back on how his parents raised him, and lied to every face he saw every day. And he justified it all by saying it was unfair. Even if it was, he was about to pay the price for all his lies.

“Sephiroth?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“I could be discharged if I was found to have cancer or something like that, right? Mako can give people cancer,” Zack said.

“Yes, which means you’ve increased your chances ten-fold,” Sephiroth interjected in a cold voice and the brunette grimaced as his heart twisted painfully. The silverette was giving him no quarter.

“Could I just see a doctor and have them check me out. If I’m unfit-”

“So you can escape your lie? So you don’t have to face the consequences of your actions? So you can avoid punishment? I thought you had more honor than that, Zackary,” Sephiroth declared and Zack sucked in a sharp, painful breath through his nose when his heart once again stabbed with pain as his eyes watered. Fuck. He was a shitty person. He was a no good, selfish asshole.

“Angeal would be very disappointed in you.”

And after a moment, Zack nodded in agreement, wishing he was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seph is waaaaay pissed at Zack. DX


	5. Unscrupulous Exam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack makes is back to Midgar and finds himself forced into a medical exam and his attending... Hojo, who has some disturbing things to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I wanted to thank everyone who has been coming back to read! Thank you so much to everyone who's interacted with this work, it really means a lot! 
> 
> I very much hope you all enjoy this new chapter! It's a pretty exciting one. lol
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) for helping with this chapter!
> 
> **There are extra warnings in the end of chapter notes below to avoid spoilers. If you don't want to be spoiled, don't scroll to the bottom. Otherwise, feel free.**

Zack saw their approach to the massive metropolis that was Midgar before the announcement filled their cabin, only making the growing pulse of stress in his chest worse as he stole a glance at his soon to be former superior. Sephiroth had sat, arms crossed over his stomach and head down the entire trip. He almost looked like he could have been sleeping, but the ravenette knew better than that. Gathering a breath that grew shaky, Zack parted his lips.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked. It was a dumb question, but maybe there was some small part of the silverette that could sympathize with him, and Zack couldn’t help himself in hoping.

“How I feel matters less than the ramifications of all your crimes,” Sephiroth said dispassionately and the ravenette grimaced. Yeah, it’d been a bad idea to ask.

“Is that all you can say?” Zack asked, unable to stop his mouth from running on him.

“You don’t want to hear what all I have to say,” the silverette said as he lifted his head. With a crestfallen nod, the ravenette leaned back in his seat, feeling the ache in his eyes return. What was he expecting? Seriously? Looking to the side Zack couldn’t help but wonder what was waiting for him?

As soon as the chopper landed on the helipad in the military compound behind ShinRa HQ and they were able to get off, Zack stiffened at the sight of Director Lazard followed by three armed infantry, two Thirds, one Second, and a Turk. Sephiroth climbed down and stood behind him as the Director’s eyes focused on Zack’s face. A whimper passed from the ravenette voice as the group approached, his heart beating harder in his chest with each foot they covered until they stopped a few feet from him. The silverette’s hands settled onto his shoulders and Zack’s heart surged with brutal ferocity the ravenette almost moved to touch his chest as his brows twisted together.

“Greetings, Zackary Fair, Sephiroth,” Lazard greeted as he brushed some of his blonde bangs from out of his eyes when a breeze brushed over the group. The Director walked forward and scarcely made contact with them before pausing and eyeing Zack as his index finger lifted and brushed the side of his nose.

“So it seems that Sephiroth was being serious about what he reported this morning,” the director said as he adjusted his glasses and frowned at Zack who averted his eyes, hands stuffing into his military issued pants.

“I know Sephiroth isn’t one to joke about such a thing, but I honestly couldn’t believe it,” Lazard said as he motioned with his hand and the infantry trio approached the ravenette while his eyes caught the gleam of a pair of cuffs coming from one man’s hip.

“Make this easy, Fair,” Sephiroth said as he pushed his former subordinate forward and Zack’s face tensed as his heart twisted sharp in his chest. Pulling his lips between his teeth the ravenette bit down as he offered out his hands, which were immediately cuffed while he was surrounded by the infantry.

“I’m sorry, Zack. I’ll do what I can for you, but this is unprecedented territory. I have no idea what’s going to happen,” Lazard said and Zack gave a nod as numbness started to seep into his chest, calming his heart until it only gave a dull ache as he was led toward the Director and then past him. As he was just at the blonde’s side, a white gloved hand on his bicep stopped the procession.

“How did I never smell you? I must know,” the Director asked.

“Zack wasn’t taking the approved suppressants,” Sephiroth explained from close behind Zack, pulling the blonde’s eyes past the ravenette.

“What was he taking then?” Lazard asked, astonishment in his voice despite the typical cool, calm of his expression.

“He’s another of Dr. Gregory Rade’s victims it seems,” the silverette answered and that schooled expression on the Director’s face cracked as he jerked rounded eyes to Zack who shrunk away slightly. Quickly the blonde composed himself as he turned to the Turk behind him.

“Zackary will need to have a medical examination immediately,” the blonde said in a stern voice and the Turk nodded before they turned on their heel and walked away. Zack frowned, wanting anything but a damned omega exam as the blonde looked at the ravenette inquisitively. “Those pills have done irreparable damage to many, Zackary. Add mako to that and I can’t imagine you’re healthy. I don’t know your reasons, and I can’t understand your feelings. Even if you think it is unfair that omegas can't join the military, this is just... Gods, Zackary, to take something so radical just to alter your scent.”

“And my heat,” the ravenette muttered under his breath.

“Pardon?” Lazard asked.

“The pills totally removed my heat too. I didn’t have a single one when I was on them,” Zack answered and another look of surprise, though much milder, sculpted the blonde’s face.

“Who will be performing it on such short notice?” Sephiroth butt in.

“Hm? Oh, the exam. I don’t honestly know. But I imagine, since Zackary is still technically a SOLDIER at the moment his only option on such short notice will be the science department,” Lazard answered with a slight grimace as Zack fought with another painful pinch in his heart. It sucked, all of it sucked; he didn’t even get a say. Silence fell over the group then.

“Just keep Hojo away,” Sephiroth stated, voice sharp. The Director sighed.

“I can’t guarantee that, unfortunately,” Lazard said before finally releasing Zack’s arm and the ravenette was made to walk again. The numbness began to ebb away unfortunately as he made the long walk from the military compound around to the front of ShinRa HQ before walking through the door where every single pair of eyes looked at him, and immediately a man from the science division, identified by his lab coat and name tag approached the newly arrived group from the elevators he had just departed from.

“Zackary Fair?” the dark haired man asked and Zack looked down, not entirely sure his voice would work.

“Yes, he’s Zackary Fair,” the only second in the group said as he rounded the group and took up the front.

“You’ll need to come with me so that we can examine you,” the scientist said and Zack nodded, heart jumping in his chest as he followed after the man. The sounds of Sephiroth’s voice drifted into the air and the ravenette twisted to see the silverette just inside the door before he turned toward the grand staircase on the right, their eyes briefly catching before Zack found himself having right his head as he walked forward. Cold dread filled his stomach as the ravenette walked to the back of the foyer and stepped into the elevator in front of him while the scientist walked up to a pane right of the doors, punched in a code, slid his card into the slot, and stepped back as the doors closed and they went up.

“D-do you know who’s examining me?” Zack asked as he pressed his back against the back of the elevator, the handrail forcing his hips forward.

“Not sure just yet since this is so sudden,” the man said as he turned a disapproving look at the ravenette, “but the professor did pick up your file.” The man’s gaze lingered a moment longer before puffing out through his nose as he pulled his face forward. “Reeks.” Zack frowned as he pulled his back from the wall and stared down between his boots.

“I always did have a strong smell,” the ravenette muttered under his breath. The elevator came to a stop and the ravenette stepped out with the scientist when the doors slid open before glancing back when the dark haired man turned toward his apparent guard and held out his hand.

“You do not have clearance,” the scientist said. After only a brief pause the infantryman who had cuffed Zack pushed a key into the man’s hand before he turned and walked to the side of the elevator.

“I will send you down to the first floor,” the man sighed as he pushed a button and the men nodded as the doors closed. The scientist turned toward Zack then and led the way with a call for him to follow. They ignored a hall that went to the left and went down another long hall that led to a new elevator where the man pushed a button and the doors slid open.

“Inside,” the scientist ordered and Zack obeyed. Once inside the doors closed and they rode the elevator down it seemed.

“Where are we going?” the ravenette asked.

“Omega Square. They have the proper equipment to examine you,” the scientist said and Zack’s stomach clenched with a renewed swell of anxiety.

“Omega Square? Isn’t that where they house the omegas who sign up to help develop new medications and stuff?” the ravenette asked, voice shaking slightly before he swallowed.

“Yes, and stuff,” the scientist said calmly, though a note of disdain could be heard in his voice and Zack felt his heart twist in his chest again. Once out of that elevator the ravenette was led down a hall of many doors before he was taken into one that stood open. Once inside, Zack froze, his spine jerking straight and muscles tense when he beheld a very typical medical examination room with a chair on which a folded slip rested.

“All right,” the scientist said as he turned toward Zack with the key displayed. Taking the cue the ravenette lifted his hands where the man pushed the key into the restraints and twisted it, both thick locks snapping open as a result. The cuffs clattered at the ravenette’s feet as he rubbed his wrists before he bent down, picked up the cuffs, and handed them to the scientist who took them before he turned toward the small counter in the room which housed a sink and computer.

“Alright, Fair. There is a gown for you, change into it and take a seat. Your doctor will be in shortly,” the scientist said as he logged into the computer, clicked a few things and turned toward Zack who still stood, frozen in place, staring at the chair as his heart rhythmically squeezed in his chest.

“Mr. Fair?” the man asked and Zack slid his gaze over toward the scientist before giving a slow nod.

“Uh, yeah,” the ravenette muttered as he stepped up to the chair while the dark haired scientist closed the door behind him. Oh, Gaia, how was he going to do this? He didn’t want to, the tickle in the base of Zack’s spine was growing stronger, demanding that his legs hurry him out the door. But if he ran, he would no doubt be caught, and then his punishment would be even worse. Anxiety bolted through Zack as he looked at the gloves on his hands and started to work the fingers off while a shaking began to work through his muscles with his increasing heart rate. The ravenette’s brow creased in growing dismay as he dropped the leather gloves onto the chair and started to unbuckle his pauldrons and then his stomach guard.

Dropping the protective gear to the floor Zack’s jaw tightened as he unzipped his pants and the material dropped to his feet, feeling all too intimately how vulnerable he was in only his boxers. After pulling the knitted turtleneck tank off over his head Zack quickly pulled the gown on before fastening it as his strong back before he pushed his gloves to the pile and sat down on the plastic covered chair where he pulled his boots and socks off, letting them drop to the floor before pulling the legs of his pants off. Once dressed in only his boxers he used his foot to push the pile of clothes to the side. Another powerful blast of anxiety rocked his heart when Zack’s fingers pulled the gown up to let his fingers touch the waistband of his boxers and a distressed whine slid from between clenched teeth before a hiss passed his lips and the ravenette leaned forward to catch his breath when his heart surged furiously in his chest, causing sweat to break out across his skin. The sound of a knock following the opening of the door made Zack’s spine jerk him upright when in stepped an uncomfortably familiar figure.

“Ah, Mr. Fair,” Hojo greeted when he closed the door behind him and paused to sniff the air before giving a dismissive grunt and walked over to the computer, the long tail of his tied back black hair shifting against his upper back as he gave his patient a glance before turning to the screen while he sat down. Tension shot through Zack. Fuck. Did it have to be Hojo? 

“You’ll need to drop the trunks, boy,” Hojo said and the ravenette grit his teeth as he quickly stood up, pushed his boxers off and kicked them to the side before he climbed into the chair. The scientist regarded Zack with interest before he pulled his eyes back to the screen.

“It’s truly marvelous, Fair,” Hojo said from his stool while he used the mouse wheel to scroll down the medical forms on the screen.

“What is?” Zack asked hesitantly, voice tight.

“That absolutely nothing in these documents is worth the time and effort to even bring them up,” the man said as he turned a slimy smile toward the ravenette who leaned slightly away. “Since all of it is clearly fake.” Hojo stood up and faced Zack, his smile replaced with a thin, straight pair of lips and inquisitive brow.

“Well then, I suppose I'll find out everything about you the more interesting way,” Hojo said before he walked over to the front door and then poked his head out. “I’ll need to draw four vials of blood, bring me what I need,” he said and Zack caught a glance of a nurse passing the door before the door was closed. The ravenette stared up at Hojo then, feeling a cold dread fill his chest from the gleam of those eyes, somehow magnified by the glint of the light off of his round glasses.

“Lay back, Zackary,” Hojo ordered and an unexpected spike of fear, or maybe the instinct of preservation, made Zack look to the door behind the scientist.

“Now, now. Don’t think of making trouble. You don’t want to be drugged, do you?” Hojo asked as he walked past his patient and opened up a cabinet.

“Lay back and relax while I prepare for your exam. We need to test for ovarian, cervical, prostate, and testicular cancer, and we’ll finally get a real blood test from you,” Hojo said as he began to pull items from one of the cabinets. Despite the tight twisting in his chest making it hard to breathe, Zack scooted back and leaned back, feeling entirely vulnerable. Hojo came to the chair then and pulled out from beneath it the stirrups that he pushed and locked into place before unfolding the foot rests and positioning them high.

“Put your feet in, Fair,” Hojo directed and though Zack resisted, not wanting to, the annoyed look he got from the oily haired man had him putting his feet in.

“There we go. I want to draw your blood first, then we will begin your examination,” Hojo said as he walked away toward the counter when a knock from the door drew a sigh from the older man’s lips before he walked over and took the tools he had requested. Walking over to the tall tray on Zack’s left, Hojo wheeled it around to Zack’s other side and just back far enough the ravenette couldn’t see it without twisting around as the sterilized needle was laid upon the clean surface with the four vials for his blood.

“It’s truly amazing, Fair. While true your medical records are all false, you still managed to not only make SOLDIER, but maintain your position. I’ve seen enough of your training videos to know that your physical capabilities are not fake. Never has an omega been able to infiltrate the alpha only SOLDIER program, though I suppose none have ever been so desperate as to commit fraud. And not only did you do that, you fought your way up to First in record time. Only Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis rose up ranks so fast,” Hojo babbled as he tinkered with something on the tray before turning to the counter, unaware of how tight Zack’s face became to have all of his wrongs told to him again. “Of course, you pale in comparison to them.” The ravenette flinched at the brutal truth.

“It’s a shame really, I had hoped no one would ever find out. But he just had to get arrested,” Hojo said randomly as he walked over to Zack and wrapped a tourniquet around his bicep before rubbing alcohol on his arm as the ravenette looked up, confused.

“What?” Zack asked when the needle slid into view and the ravenette jerked his eyes away as his heart rate began to pulse hard again. The needle slid into his elbow joint, this time hitting his actual vein before the vial attached filled with the deep red of his blood before it was replaced once full.

“Just a moment, Fair,” Hojo said as he filled the four vials and pulled the needle out before pushing a cotton ball to the small pinprick hole. “Apply pressure, Fair,” Hojo instructed as Zack pressed the white puff ball down while the man turned away before returning with a strip of tape that he pressed tight over the cotton.

“There you go, now, we can discuss things,” the scientist said as he brought a new needle into view and Zack tensed.

“Wai-” the ravenette’s voice cut out when the needle pushed into his neck and the plunger was pushed down by deft fingers used to the routine.

“Relax, Zackary. I don’t need you to make a ruckus,” Hojo said.

“Omegas aren’t supposed to get drugs because we’re sensitive,” Zack breathed with a hitch in his breath as his heart raced even faster.

“Typically, but this isn’t a typical doctor’s visit, is it? And you’re not a normal omega,” Hojo said and Zack’s face pinched when an intimate stab of pain hit his heart in memory of having to hear that. How many times had been told he was abnormal?

“Well, even if Dr. Rade was arrested, it doesn’t mean my work is over. No, in fact, this turn of events is very favorable,” Hojo said as he removed what was on the tray and replaced them with a speculum, a cotton wand, and a bottle of lubricant. Zack whimpered when a weird numbness began to tingle over his fingers and toes as the tray was wheeled to the front of the chair while Hojo pushed the also wheeled stool from the computer to in front of Zack.

“What is happening?” the ravenette asked when another tool was pressed under him and with each squeaky pump he heard, his hips tilted up. Anxiety ratcheted up as Hojo revealed a leather strap that he wrapped around Zack’s ankle and the stirrup before he adjusted the height of the hold and did the same to the other foot. Fear unfurled all throughout the ravenette when he realized he couldn’t move his legs or arms as his knees slumped open wide, prompting his eyes to go wide.

“Calm down,” Hojo muttered, as if distracted as he walked around to the left side of Zack and to the ravenette’s horror, his arm was grabbed and fastened to the side of the exame chair with another restraint.

“You’re a SOLDIER First Class, it’s a necessary precaution for me,” Hojo explained as he went around to Zack’s other side and retrained that arm. When he was done, the dark haired man gave the ravenette another slimy smile as he took his position between his legs.

“You see, Fair. Believe it or not, you weren’t totally without detection. I found out you were an omega when I gave you your first mako injection,” Hojo explained and Zack gasped when his head slumped back and hit the head rest, his neck lost of all strength. The man’s smile grew perverse as he sat down on his chair and gloved hands touched the flesh of Zack’s ass before one cheek was pulled to open up the view to Hojo’s gaze.

“Because of that, I actually adjusted your injections. You do remember, don’t you? It was years ago, so I don’t blame you if you don’t. But you ended up waiting an extra hour for your first shot. But when I realized you were an omega taking Dr. Rade’s pills I saw a golden opportunity,” Hojo explained as something slick and hard slipped into his anus and Zack stared up at the ceiling, wide-eyed as his heart slammed viciously in his chest. He couldn’t move, Zack wasn’t even sure he could blink, which birthed deep, unbridled fear in his gut. The object, no doubt the speculum, pushed in deep, brushing against his prostate and Zack felt his cock twitch despite the paralytic and Hojo hummed as he carefully spread the beak.

“Ah, I can see that you had some activity while you were in heat. Tell me it wasn’t any of those infantry. Oh, right, you can’t,” Hojo said, unbothered as the contraption spread Zack wider while pressure built up in the ravenette’s throat. He wanted to scream, but he didn’t even think he could swallow. And then the pressure paused when Hojo’s head whipped up. “Was it Sephiroth? He was the one who called in from what I understand.” Zack could only stare up at the lights and barely audible whines struggled to reach his lips before dying in muffled failure.

“Well, that would be wonderful. Especially if you two were less careful considering your supposed infertility. Though, I guess the blood test will tell me if my experiment succeeded or not,” Hojo informed in a distracted voice as the spreading resumed until stopping again.

“All right, Fair. I’m going to be checking you for cervical cancer,” Hojo said and Zack remained helplessly still as he felt something brush inside him for a moment. When it was over the speculum was pulled out, allowing his sphincter to relax. A moment later a slick, gloved finger pressed inside him, wiggling through the puckered ring of muscles and though Zack felt some sort of shock in his spine, a need to move, he remained still as the finger rubbed up against his prostate, forcing his limp cock to swell against his thigh.

“I’m going to collect a semen sample from you,” Hojo said and Zack’s heart twisted viciously as hot heat swelled his eyes. It couldn’t be real! That was not part of the fucking plan! Hojo didn’t need his fucking semen for any cancer screening! And yet, even as panic slammed into the ravenette he couldn’t move as his prostate was rubbed harder, trying to hurry things up as Zack’s cock swelled and leaked at the head. Despite the numbness of his body, which he would have thought would make getting an erection impossible, the ravenette felt something touch him, like an object pressed between him and layers upon layers of clothing as his balls tightened and the boiling wave of orgasm snapped rapidly, cum expelling from his dick and into what Zack surmised was a cup.

“Good reaction time. Your prostate feels as it should too, also good,” Hojo said as Zack’s ears picked up the sound of what he picked out as a cap being screwed on. A weird prickling of his flesh spread up the ravenette’s spine when he felt gloved hands on his testicles, sensitive after just ejaculating as the professor massaged and examined them in his hands before he gave a squeeze that made an itch hit the back of Zack’s throat. Thankfully the hands left, but only a moment later Hojo was standing up, weedy body pressing between the ravenette’s legs as his hands slid to Zack’s hips before his palms spread out and began to examine his pelvic and belly area.

“Male omega exams could be much improved, because unfortunately, even though it is possible to feel things out like a female, it just isn’t quite so effective,” Hojo explained. “Yes, and with all that hard muscle it’s not going to be easy, but I expected that,” the man added as he pulled his hands off of Zack, much to the ravenette’s relief. “I will have an ultrasound performed on you later so that we can get a full view of all your organs and see if we can find any masses in there,” Hojo explained as he walked around Zack again and picked something up. The ravenette could see nothing, but he felt something weird in his neck before suddenly Hojo’s babbling echoed like there was water in his ears as his vision blurred and then darkened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (s): Drugged up Zack, non-consensual touching, forced ejaculation (all in a medical scenario)
> 
> I totally posted this on accident when I planned to hold off. DX


	6. Mark of Convenience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack escapes Hojo and does everything he can to save himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Thank you so much to everyone reading this fic! And thank you so much for engaging! I hope you all like the exciting events in this chapter.
> 
> I sincerely hope everyone who reads enjoys.

The sounds of thrashing filled the air followed a throaty pant as the bed’s guardrails rattled and bare human legs kicked.

“Now, now, Zackary. This won’t do,” Hojo admonished from his place at the side of the gurney, hands clasped behind his back as he peered down passively at the ravenette in his care. A keening sound struggled free from the back of Zack’s throat, his sweaty face twisting sharply in pain.

“You’re lucky that you’re avoiding a court-martial thanks to my kindness,” Hojo said as his eyes slid down his specimen’s hard muscled body, soaked in sweat and heat scent pungent in the air. There was a prominent bulge beneath the gown where an impressive wet spot had formed despite the ravenette’s insistent thrashing. The only part of Zack that wasn’t squirming was his left arm which was tied backward over the guardrail, tender wrist faced upward.

“It was always part of the contract that your body would be subject to the science division. Of course, most SOLDIERs think it only has to do with mako injections, but that is very inaccurate,” the scientist said as he turned away from the omega, taking a breath to calm himself while stepping over the counter in the small lab room they occupied.

“Please, make it stop!” Zack gasped.

“Hush, it’ll only last for a few hours. I do wonder if perhaps your suppression of your heat for years is why this induced one is so potent,” Hojo said as he grabbed a needle with an attached vial from a tray on the table and lifted it to his face. “A bother really. Your scent is even getting to me.” The oily haired scientist came back to the bed and plunged the needle into Zack's exposed left arm. Due to his current state the veins were bulging against his skin and easily visible, and the needle quickly drew blood.

“Well, that’s all we need for now,” Hojo informed as he stepped away and the ravenette kicked viciously in frustration as the man walked back to the counter.

“You all fucking lied to me!” Zack bellowed.

“And yet you committed fraud to be here, funny that. Perhaps this is what they call karma?” Hojo suggested with a bored, off-hand tone, distracted as he removed the vial from the syringe and placed it on the tray.

“I do have good news though, Zackary. You are cancer free. Unfortunately, your fertility tests were inconclusive, a shock really considering my efforts. But perhaps we’ll better know with this new sample taken in your current state. Though you are not in estrus, I’m hoping that your hormones will give a more conclusive read. Otherwise I’ll have to wait a few weeks,” Hojo gave a sigh, “while irksome, it’s not the end of the world. In the meantime, I will prescribe fertility treatments for you,” Hojo explained and the ravenette screamed in the back of his throat despite his clenched jaw as the scientist walked over toward the doors leading into the room and opened them.

“Come, take him to his room,” the scientist called and two large alpha guards entered, a white wax piece pushed into their nostrils.

“Careful with this one. He’s violent,” Hojo instructed as each man took position at either end of Zack’s gurney before they started to push him past the scientist and out the door. “And don’t either of you dare lay a finger on this specimen. I don’t care how strong his scent is. I will have you castrated if you ruin my experiment.”

Once Zack was wheeled down halls, humiliated as arousal raged through his sweaty body while on display with a full erection for whoever saw him on his trip, barely able to control himself. The ravenette pushed into the small cubical room, a ‘special’ room as Hojo had called it, and his binds were released. The men quickly vacated and closed the door before Zack heard the loud electric locks snap into place. With a hiss he slid his hands down his body, panting and groaning in misery as he wrapped his calloused hand around his cock and rapidly pumped himself as the wetness from his ass soaked more into his gown. The ravenette’s jaw popped open as a panted, furious groan passed his lips before his head pushed back into his pillow, hips lifting until he tensed in orgasm and cum shot from his cock, on his hand, and onto his gown. Sinking onto the bedding, Zack whimpered before violently jerking onto his side as hot water burned his eyes. It was worse than anything he could have imagined. Because he never had imagined Hojo being the one in charge of his future.

The former First jacked off a few more times, hating himself a little more each time he lost the battle of wills to ignore it, and hating even more when he felt satisfaction in his release. And hating that nothing he did to touch himself helped relieve the ache inside him. Food was brought to him sometime later but Zack wasn’t particularly hungry, simply relieved that the induced heat had faded away, and he justified his refusal to eat by distrusting whatever could be in the food. He fell asleep after that and was awoken by a bright light in his face that stabbed biting pain into his eyes as his arms were strapped to the gurney and his legs bound in such a way that his knees were bent and spread. And judging from the air touching his privates Zack was aware that his boxers had been taken off when he’d been passed out.

“Good morning, Zackary,” Hojo's slimy voice slithered into the air, echoing through a speaker, and frustration exploded into anger, prompting Zack to give a violent kick that went nowhere thanks to the strong restraint on his leg coupled with his exhaustion from the day previous. “Specimen ZF001 is ready for insertion.” The ravenette’s heart surged violently in his chest and he jerked violently in his binds, making the rails slam and shudder. The gurney slammed violently as something was altered and suddenly Zack’s toes were in the air, and the ravenette realized in horror that the bed must have been collapsible in sections. Gloved hands grabbed his thighs and spread them apart and Zack craned his neck to lean forward and see past the bright lamp overhead and his heart nearly exploded in his chest when he spotted a SOLDIER Second at the end of the gurney, his pants were open and Zack saw a glint of rigid flesh. For a moment the ravenette felt such intense panic spike through him he almost blacked out before an unexpected burst of energy shot through him.

“I’m not going to fucking let you do this to me!” Zack screamed and pulled with all the strength in his arms, muscles bulging and straining with gathered strength until the buckle on the leather straps snapped off. Zack lurched up, free, before he laced his fingers together and swung his coupled fists to the side and slammed his amplified blow violently into the head of the Second in front of him. The SOLDIER fell with no real resistance as the ravenette quickly unbuckled his feet and jumped to the floor. Zack didn’t waste a single moment as he looked at the fallen Second, disappointed to not see a sword as he threw himself through the door to his left.

Scientists scattered in apparent fear before shouts alerted the ravenette to the rapid approach of armed infantry that operated in Omega Square. With a curse Zack bolted in the opposite direction, sprinting blindly until he came to a hall of doors at the end of which there was an elevator. The ravenette half slammed into the walls as he pushed the button, jerking his head over his shoulder as adrenaline spiked. The infantry caught sight of Zack just as the elevator doors opened and the former First bolted inside before hitting the button to close the doors before hitting the only other button for direction, which was up. The doors closed before anyone could near or kneel down with their tranquilizer guns, and Zack heaved a sigh of relief as he leaned against the back of the elevator to catch his breath.

He needed to think. He was pretty sure he knew where he was. He was about to head up to floor 67 from Omega Square. It was hasty, but the only thing the ravenette could think of to do was ride the elevator down to the SOLDIER floor and hope to God that someone was there who could help him. He’d scarcely been in Hojo’s care more than a few days, but there was no way he was letting himself get raped for science.

Once the doors dinged and opened Zack ran down the hall toward the elevators, ignoring anyone that could see him running around with his backside exposed as he rounded rooms to reach the dual elevators before he hit the button and waited for the doors to open. It took longer for the elevator doors to open, probably because unlike the last these elevators actually saw regular use. When the first one opened with a ding he was inside and hitting buttons to close the doors and make it lower. Zack was antsy, almost prancing in place for how he moved his feet constantly until the doors opened to an empty curved hallway. Intense familiarity washed over the ravenette, coming with it a feeling of safety as he hurried into the hall with the intention of going for Lazard’s office.

“Stop!” The shout made Zack’s heart jump into his throat as he jerked his face toward the emergency stairwell door and cursed when he spotted the infantry from Omea Square. The ravenette turned and bolted forward, wondering briefly if he should try and give the men the run around and get back in the elevator when the debriefing room door opened and Zack skidded into it when the familiar clean musk and spice of alpha hit his nose, followed by a wall of black. A cry tore from the ravenette’s lips when he hit the body at an only minimally reduced speed, though the man barely stumbled before hands grabbed the ravenette’s shoulders. Zack jerked his eyes up to the confused and then surprised gaze of two slitted green eyes.

“Seph! Please! Help me!” he gasped when the infantry called out for Sephiroth to not move and Zack turned a wide eyed look of panic back at the men.

“That man is an escaped patient and very dangerous!” the infantryman in charge shouted when they stopped at a distance. A single, bitter laugh puffed from the silverette’s nose as his hands on Zack’s shoulders slid around the ravenette’s waist and pulled him tight to his body before he backed up into the debriefing room. Zack gasped, stumbling slightly when he was turned loose inside and spun around to watch Sephiroth drag a large locker in front of the door. Sephiroth turned then and their eyes met, wide blue against calm green.

“Seph! Please! They’re going to rape me!” Zack cried as he ran up to the silverette and grabbed his arms.

“It’s unfortunate, but it’s what you get for committing fraud to get into SOLDIER when you are in fact, an omega,” Sephiroth said and the ravenette tensed when pain pulsed hard through his heart and he whined.

“No!” Zack cried, heat swelling his wetting eyes.

“Don’t say that! Please! Seph, I swear! I’ll do whatever you want! Please, just help me!” the ravenette cried when a loud clang hit the door, indicating attempts to open the door. Sephiroth sighed and turned his face away for a moment.

“Just what can I do for you, Zackary? I have no power over the science division. I have no real power in ShinRa,” the silverette said with a frustrated sigh to his voice.

“I don’t know! I don’t care what you have to do! Please! I don’t want to be a lab rat!” Zack cried. Sephiroth slid his eyes to the ravenette then, gaze hard as he walked briskly up to the former SOLDIER and stopped when their faces were so close their noses could have touched.

“There is maybe one way. But I don’t think you’d see it as much different from the rape you speak of,” Sephiroth said and Zack felt a bolt hit his heart and he whimpered as his brow twisted in dismay. Taking a deep breath to calm himself Zack immediately jumped when there was a scrape against the door, the ravenette grabbed the lapels of the silverette’s duster.

“I don’t care! Please! Bond me! That’s what you’re talking about, right? Okay! I can do that!” Zack cried and Sephiroth’s brow twisted, lips curling in tension.

“You really are being selfish,” the silverette bit out, and before the ravenette could respond, arms were around him, one in his hair grabbing at the roots of the spikes as their lips smashed together. Zack opened his mouth and the General’s tongue plunged inside, aggressive and dominant as he pushed the ravenette around in his own mouth before pulling away.

“Into the meeting room,” Sephiroth ordered breathlessly as he retracted his arms. Zack turned a glance behind him to the other door and frowned as he slid concerned eyes toward the silverette.

“I’m being selfish?” he asked and there was a creak behind them. A growl rumbled from the silverette as he pushed Zack backward.

“Go,” Sephiroth ordered and after a brief hesitation the ravenette turned and quickly walked through the opening swish of the door before spying the every familiar table of the meeting room, and the spot where Director Lazard always sat; the sight inducing an ache in his heart.

“Lay down, we don’t have time,” the silverette ordered and Zack quivered, water biting his eyes as he walked up to the table, turned around and laid down on his back. The General was up between his legs in an instant, hands grabbing his knees and lifting them while the ravenette secured his legs around his waist.

“Is this going to work?” Zack asked, voice quavering as his gown was pushed up to reveal his soft dick between his muscular thighs.

“No time to talk,” Sephiroth grunted as he wrapped his left hand around the ravenette’s cock and massaged it with his gloved fingers. Despite the anxiety shocking through his system and an absolute lack of interest, Zack felt himself swell and groaned as the pleasure warmed his balls and dick until he was hard and starting to wet at the tip. The silverette stopped to pull his gloves off and threw them onto the table before his hand grabbed Zack again and his wrist set into motion, pumping the swollen, sensitive organ and the ravenette groaned as pleasure warmed his body. With his other hand, the General worked his belt loose and unzipped his pants, motions impatient as he drew his mostly soft cock out before he began to stroke himself until the pale flesh of his dick elongated and swelled with blood. Zack tensed, brows twisting in dismay. Sephiroth wasn’t horny in the least. The silverette leaned over him then and sniffed at his neck and Zack stiffened with a sudden race in his heart when the sensitive area almost tingled and a growl rumbled from the General’s chest. Arousal spiked through the ravenette and he felt his ass finally wet, and as if in reaction Sephiroth’s hand stilled as a pant left the silverette’s lips.

“Your smell is so strong,” the General muttered as he nuzzled the side of Zack’s neck, sending a powerful, pleasurable shock down the ravenette’s spine as the hand on his cock gave it a squeeze and pleasure swelled his balls hotter, drawing a groan from Zack.

“I can’t help it,” the ravenette said weakly as Sephiroth pulled away and their eyes met. Zack stared, surprised to see that those usually slitted pupils were wider, though not the full blown circles they’d been during his heat.

“You don’t need to,” the silverette said as he quickly hefted Zack’s legs up so that his ankles rested against his shoulders. Another sharp creak from the other room hurried the two as Sephiroth grabbed the base of his dick and pressed it between the globes of the ravenette’s ass.

“I don’t know how ready you are, but we don’t have time,” the General said and Zack took a breath, doing his best to relax his body and released the air when he felt the wet head of Sephiroth’s cock breach him, spreading the slick muscles of his sphincter open wide around the plumed head. A groan of pleasure puffed from Sephiroth as he pushed his hips forward, sliding his cock in deeper until the head scraped against Zack’s prostate and the ravenette gasped, cock twitching from the spark of pleasure. A hiss left the silverette’s lips as he suddenly shoved in the rest of the way and a cry hit the back of the ravenette’s throat before Sephiroth’s hands hit the table as the man bent over him, expression tight and breath hard.

The door made a loud clang of sound and the silverette’s cock slid back until just the tip remained before slamming back in and Zack gasped, breath leaving him when another spark of pleasure shot from his prostate to his balls and through his dick. Sephiroth set into a rapid, urgent rhythm, pumping his cock in fast, short bursts, enough to stimulate both of them but quick enough to force a quick orgasm. Zack gasped and groaned, his heart stabbing in pain with every fast beat as water poured down the sides of his face. It wasn’t how he ever wanted things to go. If he could have his way, the ravenette was sure he’d never have sex. It didn’t matter how much he sometimes ached for it, or crushed on a cute guy, he always knew it would suck. Pleasure sparked sharper and Zack groaned louder, hips twitching against the cock thrusting inside of him, rubbing against that sweet spot that made his back twitch as his cock drooled greedy against his belly.

“Se-Seph!” Zack gasped, the sound a broken sob as Sephiroth’s thrusts grew harder, more erratic as he leaned down against the ravenette’s throat and sniffed again, a throaty groan of pleasure filling Zack’s ear as those hips slid back and forth in a frenzy of pleasure. The ravenette’s head tilted back as pleasure boiled hotter, tightening his muscles as orgasm pulsed maddeningly through his balls. Zack’s hands grabbed Sephiroth’s shoulder as he teetered closer to the brutal edge of climax and the silverette released an almost animalistic growl as the ravenette’s peak finally crested and Zack tensed, a loud moan breaking from his throat as his throbbing cock shot a thick rope of cum which splattered over his belly as Sephiroth’s hips slammed forward, plunging himself balls deep inside his former subordinate right before pain seared all through the side of Zack’s neck when fangs snapped into the tender flesh of his throat.

A scream tore from the ravenette as the sharp pain lanced up his neck into his ear and down to his shoulder while water poured from his left eye, his muscles stiffening as his jaw tensed while his hands curled into fists at the silverette’s shoulders. Another growl rumbled from Sephiroth as his hips twitched, still cumming inside Zack as orgasm flooded the alpha’s system. After a moment, the silverette was able to relax and release the ravenette’s neck before he stepped back as his soft, wet cock slipped out of Zack who clutched his neck with a whimper.

“Zackary,” Sephiroth panted before a groan passed his blood smeared lips as the door in the other room made a spectacular crunch. Both men jerked their eyes toward the meeting room door that swished open and the infantry froze. The silverette stepped over, blocking the men’s view of Zack. He stood facing them with an expression hard and sharp despite the fact that his dick was still hanging out of his pants.

“G-General, sir!” the man in the lead gasped as Sephiroth wiped the blood from his lips before he tucked himself back into his pants, the men averting their gazes awkwardly for a moment.

“As you can see, this omega is no longer viable,” the silverette said patently while Zack finally sat up, still clutching his neck before he put his feet to the floor and stood up on wobbly legs. The infantrymen righted themselves then.

“But, sir! Our orders are to retrieve the escaped omega!”

“And I’m telling you he is now bonded,” Sephiroth reiterated with more bite to his words. “If you so wish to challenge me and try to take my mate by force, I am more than willing to fight you. Do you really think you can win against me?” he asked, a tone of confidence in his words. The men looked at each other, at a loss for words. The silverette stepped back until he was at Zack’s side then and wrapped his arm around the ravenette, drawing pained, but surprised blue eyes to his profile while the General kept his eyes locked with the men in front of him.

“Zackary Fair is my mate. Tell Hojo that. And if he wants to contest it, he knows where my office is,” Sephiroth declared and the man shifted, awkward.

“So, I will now be taking my mate home, understand? I will file any and all paperwork required, but my mate will not go anywhere without me, understood?” The men straightened themselves and nodded. After a brief second the infantrymen awkwardly turned and left the room to no doubt report back to Hojo while the silverette turned to Zack who was still frowning as he cupped his neck.

“We’ll see to your neck,” Sephiroth said as he unbuckled his pauldrons and stomach guard. The ravenette watched in confusion as the protective gear was placed on the table before the silverette shrugged off his duster, walked around to Zack’s back, and draped it over his broad shoulders. “You were running around bare-assed you know.” Heat filled Zack’s face as he pushed his arms through the arms of the coat while Sephiroth fitted himself with his gear without his coat, which made him look a little bit like he belonged in a BDSM club.

“I need to go to my office first,” Sephiroth said as he took the lead while Zack lifted the cuffs of the jacket to his face. Even though they were pretty much the same height, it seemed the silverette had longer arms, but only slightly.

“Um, Seph?” Zack called and the silverette paused and gave the ravenette a level stare.

“Yes?” Zack shifted, uncomfortable as his hand finally left his neck and he nervously met Sephiroth’s stare while he tried to wipe the blood until he dried on his palms..

“I’m sorry. For everything. And thank you.”


	7. New pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack struggles to adjust to his new life while reconciling with what all he's lost. And feeling the full weight of what his bond to Sephiroth means for the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Finally got this chapter out! lol Sorry for the delay. I hope everyone enjoys! And thank you so much to everyone who has been reading, leaving kudos, and commenting! It's so encouraging! ^_^ Thank you so much!
> 
> There is um, a lot of heavy feelings in here. And some serious sobbing. (╥﹏╥) You have been warned!
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) for helping with this chapter!

Zack followed after his new bond, all too aware now that the adrenaline was gone. He was naked aside from a slip and now Sephiroth’s coat, and he’d literally just been fucked by a guy who clearly did not like him, had even bonded himself to that very same man. Thinking on what the alternative route was, Zack didn’t regret his actions, even if he and the silverette didn’t get along, it would still be a million times better than being Hojo’s specimen. But, on the other hand, he really did screw Sephiroth over. The alpha was too kind, really. Not many thought so due to the silverette’s cold, professional attitude and his tendency to only speak plainly and what was necessary while not caring to waste his energy on things he thought were pointless.

But still, Sephiroth had literally sacrificed his future to save Zack. The thought of which made the ravenette’s heart ache as heat warmed his eyes. The silverette would never be able to have another mate, the ravenette would be the only lover he could ever have and vice versa of course. While Zack was okay with being in a bare minimum relationship to avoid the traps of being an omega in the wild, Sephiroth most likely would suffer in it. It was regretful that things had gone the way they did and the ravenette recognized the root of all this suffering was his own fault. He had chosen to lie and fake his way into ShinRa; even though he had his reasons, it was still his actions that set off the chain of events.

Another elevator ride to one floor below and into a very familiar hallway Zack walked with his head down. He knew people there; he knew them well. It was where Sephiroth’s office was located-and his old one. They stopped at a very familiar secretary’s desk and when the woman glanced at the ravenette curiously, he turned his face more in not wanting to meet the blonde’s eyes.

“General Sephiroth. Lieutenant Fair?” she called, confused as the silverette took the lead in the interaction.

“Any calls or mail for me?” Sephiroth asked, directing brown eyes up to his face.

“Oh, yes. There’s a call waiting for you,” the secretary said as she leaned and tried to catch Zack’s eyes and the former First stepped back behind the silverette to hide.

“Thank you, Sally,” Sephiroth replied as he turned and the ravenette’s blue eyes jerked up to meet calm green.

“Forward,” the silverette and Zack stepped out of the way to allow the alpha passage before following after him. As they neared Sephiroth’s office he knew better, but the ravenette couldn’t help glancing up at the glass where Sephiroth’s name and rank were etched into the glass, and below it… nothing. Zack’s heart twisted painfully and the ravenette grimaced as the silverette pushed the door open and left it open for his mate to follow in after him. Stopping at the threshold, Zack glanced around the room, on the right was Sephiroth’s desk, exactly how he remembered it. A computer monitor in the corner aimed toward the chair, a glass, free standing plaque of ShinRa’s emblem on the edge, and a pile of manila folders filled with papers. To the back were a couple bookcases shoved against the wall behind his desk, and to the left side of it on wall mounted hooks lay Masamune, ready for when Sephiroth went home or set out on a mission. The two chairs in front were also familiar, intimately familiar. How many times he had plopped himself down in those and chatted or complained about paperwork? How many times had he pissed Sephiroth off by leaning back on his chair’s back legs? Or spilled a sports drink on his desk? Well, it was only once, but he’d spilled other things on it.

Zack didn’t want to look to the left of the room, but try as he might he couldn’t fight the urge and chanced a glance at his left side. But the quick covert glance stunned into a stare as he looked at his entirely empty side of the room. There was not a single paper, no plaque bearing his name, not even the dumb video game figure he’d won in a raffle when he’d been in Wall Market on a date that he had really only agreed to because he knew the girl wouldn’t be able to coerce him into sex. Where exactly did his stuff go? And so fast? ShinRa policy was to eradicate any evidence of ShinRa misconduct. They would allow nothing to exist that hurt the company’s image. Clearly, Zack was one such case. He didn’t exist anymore as far as the company was concerned.

“Take a seat, Zackary. I need to patch your neck,” Sephiroth's voice penetrated into the turning of the ravenette’s thoughts and Zack looked to where Sephiroth stood, a first aid box sitting on his meticulously cared for desk.

“Or do you want to leave it as it is?” the silverette asked when the ravenette didn’t respond right away. Shaking himself of his thoughts, Zack walked over and sat in his familiar chair in front of his mate’s desk. The silverette rounded the corner and rest the box down before popping the unclasping the lid. Pulling out a thick disk shaped contained, he unscrewed the top and dipped his finger in before pushing them toward Zack’s neck. The ravenette turned his head to expose his neck as the Sephiroth gently applied the ointment over his sensitive skin.

“You surprised me back there, you know,” Zack blurted to calm the increasing pound in his heart before he swallowed around the tightness forming in his throat.

“Back there?” Sephiroth asked. “You mean in the meeting room?”

“Yeah. Even though growling is cliché and all that for alphas, never actually heard you do it until then,” the ravenette said as the fingers pulled away before rummaging into the first aid box before he pulled out a gauze pad which he tore from its sterile container and tape.

“I growled?” Sephiroth asked, a note of confusion in his calm voice as he pressed the pad to Zack’s neck. “Hold.” The ravenette lifted his hand and held the pad in place before it was taped to his neck.

“Yeah, you don’t remember?” Zack asked.

“No. I didn’t realize,” the silverette informed as he tossed away the gauze trash into the bin behind his desk where he sat, closed and snapped the lid down on the first aid box and rounded to his chair where he sat down and looked at his phone where a light blinked up at him.

“Looks like Hojo was very quick to act,” Sephiroth informed and Zack stiffened, eyes wide as the silverette picked up the phone and finally answered.

“Sephiroth speaking,” the silverette greeted before pressing a button on his landline and set the phone back down on the cradle, and muffling through the terrible speaker was Hojo’s gravelly voice.

“Congratulations on your bonding, Sephiroth,” Hojo greeted and Zack’s hands gripped the armrests of the chair tight as he looked up at Sephiroth who smirked as he looked down at the light on the phone.

“Thank you,” the silverette said cordially.

“Quite an opportune moment. How is Mr. Fair by the way?”

“He’s fine,” Sephiroth answered.

“Ah, good, good. I’ll admit your bonding is rather inconvenient, but I’m sure you both knew that. Quite a remarkable stroke of luck, Mr. Fair,” Hojo declared, fully aware he was on speaker phone and Zack flinched at his acknowledgment.

“So, what is it you wished to call for? Surely it wasn’t just to congratulate us,” Sephiroth prodded and a slimy chuckle came over the line.

“Well, since Mr. Fair now has a bond, he’s going to need a doctor, and I am here to suggest you take up my services,” Hojo informed. The silverette’s smirk grew, and to Zack’s surprise, he could see a look of pleasure in the man’s features when next he spoke.

“Zack is no longer a part of the military. He will be seeing civilian doctors now. And last I checked, you were not an actual medical doctor,” Sephiroth informed and a sigh came across the line.

“Zackary Fair has had far too many mako treatments for a simple medical doctor to know what to do with. It would be unwise to send him to someone under qualified to handle his bodily condition,” Hojo declared.

“There are plenty of intelligent doctors and retired vets who have joined the medical field. It’s not such a barren wasteland, Professor,” Sephiroth said, a purr to the way he said the title, as if mocking. “Zack will be going to a doctor I approve of.” The sound of some sort of aggravated sound came across the line, muffled and quiet, perhaps because Hojo had turned away from his receiver.

“Supervised appointments,” Hojo bartered, losing his patience.

“By your men? I think not,” Sephiroth rejected.

“Appointments you get to supervise. This is my last offer, foolish boy,” Hojo almost hissed and the clear joy the silverette was having over the verbal battle was almost shocking to see as Zack stared, eyes wide. He couldn’t believe two alphas were fighting over him. Though the idea of which, the ravenette realized, made his stomach churn with nausea as his face fell to his lap to stare at the patterns in his gown and the edges of his mate’s duster.

“I respectfully reject your offer. I will take Zackary to a doctor I find suitable,” Sephiroth declared, and Zack almost swore he heard a curse when there was an audible click before the line rang out a low, continuous tone. A laugh broke from the back of the silverette’s throat as he hit the blinking button on his phone base and looked up at the ravenette who looked up at him, beholding the sight of pure pleasure shining in Sephiroth’s eyes as he stood up and pushed his chair in.

“Well, that was incredibly pleasurable, refreshing even,” the General said before flashing Zack a smile that was almost criminal in how handsome it was, even if the light in the man’s eyes was a little unnerving.

“So thank you, Zackary. I think that interaction alone more than makes up for our impromptu bonding,” Sephiroth said and Zack’s face scrunched up when he felt a pinch in his heart and looked away. Did he have to say out loud like that?

“Well, let’s go, I’m sure you’d like to shower. And I can get you a change of clothes at my apartment,” the silverette informed, his voice leveling out into its typically calm, soft manner and Zack looked up to see that the silverette was settling down, though traces of his uplifted mood could be seen from the slight curve of his lips and the arch of his brow.

“Shall we go?” Sephiroth asked as he held out his hand, drawing the ravenette’s gaze downward before slowly Zack’s eyes slid back up the arm to his mate’s face. Had the silverette ever offered his hand before? He couldn’t remember. With a somewhat forced smile, Zack struck his hand out and their palms clapped together before Zack was half pulled while he stood up onto his feet.

“Okay,” the ravenette said, fighting an unsettling race in his heart that made his face twist again briefly as his hand settled over its location in his chest while Sephiroth turned and took point to lead the way. To his apartment. To the military housing high ranking officers got to choose from. To the place he lived. To the place Zack used to live. In his own apartment. He highly doubted it was his anymore.

~~~~

The walk to Sephiroth’s apartment was incredibly awkward considering Zack was naked aside from what was draped over him, and it made the ravenette increasingly uncomfortable and anxious to take the lead and hurry up to the building. But the silverette kept even pace, not hurrying up even inside the main lobby before he stopped by the weapons lock up for Masamune while Zack did his best to ignore where he used to lock up the buster sword before they rode the elevator up to the silverette’s apartment on the twelfth floor. Zack had never actually been to the General’s place before and found himself peeking over the man’s shoulder, perhaps too eagerly judging from the sigh he received, before they stopped at a door and the ravenette glanced up at the numbers at the left of the barrier. 573, huh? He had been aware that Sephiroth lived on the same wing, but he had never been privy to the knowledge of exactly where: only two floors above him. The door opened and Sephiroth motioned for Zack to take the lead and the ravenette eagerly walked in to avoid anyone else noticing him walking barefoot with a coat over what was clearly a hospital gown covering his front.

“You can shower while I grab some clothes,” Sephiroth said as he turned to the left, his boots thumping softly over the wood flooring as he walked in the bedroom on the left. And as what could be expected in the manufactured, identical apartments, Zack looked right and saw the bathroom standing open with the living room in front of him and the kitchen to the left past the bedroom. The ravenette took the coat off and hung it on the coat rack by the door and walked into the bathroom, spotting the glass shower and sighed as she undid the ties at the back of his gown. Sephiroth was right, he’d been running around ass naked all through ShinRa and the idea made Zack’s heart jump in humiliation as he felt his face flush. With the door closed behind him and nude, the ravenette opened the shower door and stepped inside the large square case and turned the water on, careful to test the temperature before stepping beneath the downpour.

“I have clothes here for you,” Sephiroth’s voice broke into the air and Zack twitched a little in surprise when his heart jumped into his throat and jerked his eyes to see the silverette inside, a black shirt on his back as he placed a folded pile of clothes down on the faux granite countertop and the man left without another word or glance, the door closing behind him. Trapping the ravenette in his own quiet little room. Cut off from the house. Sitting down on the floor in the corner beside the spray of water so that only his feet got wet, Zack pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as his knees drew up to his chest while heat swelled in his eyes, growing stronger with each, painful, heavy pulse of his heart. It was over. Everything; the good, and the bad.

As far as ShinRa was concerned, Zack Fair never existed. They would scrub him from every record and probably ban or doctor any footage that contained his image. And no doubt, anyone that knew him would have been spoken to by now, a gag order would be issued too. Everything he had clawed for and held in his hands, believing it solid and undeniable, had now crumbled to dust that slipped through his fingers. The painful pressure in his heart lurched up and though Zack tried to suck it back down his throat it broke from the back of his mouth with a hiccuped sob as his face fell in between his knees while strong, muscle thick arms wrapped around his legs and squeezed so tight his shoulders bunched as he fell forward and then rocked back, setting into a rhythm that he hoped would soothe the pain gouging his chest. He had to think about the positives, even though everything he worked for was gone, there was still a silver lining. There always was. Sure, he lost his record, his hard work would be passed on to someone else, probably Sephiroth, his office would be filled by someone else in due time, his apartment lived in by someone else.

But, there was good here. No more Hojo. He wasn’t Hojo’s lab rat anymore. And though Zack knew almost nothing about Omega Square, judging by the fact that it was run by Hojo, the ravenette suspected that the place was probably a lot nastier than what was led to be believed. He had almost been fucking raped! A horrible, almost nausea inducing shudder ran down his back and Zack stiffened, his sobs choking when his throat closed for a panic stricken second. Face twisting into something probably hideous, a loud, heart rending sob hit the air hard as his chest convulsed, muscles jumping in his diaphragm as his mouth fell open, sobs breaking free and voice whinging like the cries of a child as tears poured heavy down his cheeks. And it was so much worse! He’d been mated to a guy who wanted nothing to do with him! Sephiroth probably fucking hated him for it too! What was the fucking point of anything by this point?! Could he even stand to be touched?! Or, as the thought came to mind, would Sephiroth even want to touch him unless he had to? The idea that he was simply too disgusting to even be touched made him wallow deeper, picking at old wounds until they bled open.

The door opened and Zack’s sobs strangled as he jerked his face up in surprise, eyes swollen and red while the muscles of his face remained twisted in pain while he stared up at Sephiroth in the doorway. Zack’s lips trembled harder as his brows drew up even tighter before he jerked his face away, and unable to stop it, and finding himself suddenly deciding to not give a shit, and cried harder. The shower door rattled and Zack squeezed into as tight of a ball as he could, wishing to disappear as gloved hands settled on his wet shoulders before they disappeared and the ravenette gasped when he felt the hands come back, skin touching his own. 

A horrible, anxious rush assaulted his aching heart as the hands grabbed him. Zack tried to unwind and get away from them, but they were insistent before he was grabbed around the waist and dragged into his unchosen mate’s lap. Frustrated and wanting to be left alone, the former SOLDIER squirmed and bellowed out his dismay, no longer in control of himself, as the back of his head was cradled and turned before he pressed his face against a silk covered shoulder. Zack shuddered and whimpered, sobs breaking free from him after the screaming died down and grabbed hold of the shoulders of Sephiroth’s rapidly growing wet shirt and pushed his face into the juncture between the man’s shoulder and neck and sobbed, chest heaving rapidly as the hands on him began rubbing up and down his wet back.

No words were said to him. Not a single movement from the body he had plastered himself against while he sought comfort from a source of discomfort while the hands continued to run down his wet backside. After a few loud minutes of hard sobs that probably hurt the silverette’s ear, Zack started to tire out and he sagged more heavily on his former superior, puffing in hard through the nose and drowning in the alpha’s scent. He always smelled good, of course he did to an omega, but never did the ravenette think it could make his breaths feel a little lighter. After another uncounted amount of time, Zack started to cry again, softly, before finally it seemed he’d released all that he’d built up inside.

“I’m sorry,” the ravenette croaked, voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s fine. I figured smelling your mate would calm you,” Sephiroth whispered back and Zack stiffened when the painful twist in his heart returned and his face tightened before he took deliberate breaths to calm himself and fight a renewal of heat from his eyes. While the ravenette wasn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, he at least knew how to read someone’s feelings, which it seemed like Sephiroth… might be lacking. Then again, the guy did always seem rather closed off. Deciding to read it as the silverette trying his best, even though it left Zack feeling a bit unfulfilled, the ravenette forced his lips to curve into a smile as he peeled himself off of the General and gave a gravely laugh.

“Thanks, man,” Zack said as he patted Sephiroth’s upper arm and crawled off the man’s lap. The ravenette looked at his impromptu mate, sitting on the floor of the shower with his legs out straight, his button up black top soaking wet and clinging to him. But still, he must have really hurried inside, his gloves were sitting totally waterlogged on the bottom of the shower, the head of which now spit out cold water on top of them. Sephiroth’s hair was now more of a steel gray as it hung heavy from his skull as the strands stuck to him in various places on his shoulders like thick threads. Even his boots were still on, soaked no doubt. Shyly, Zack closed his legs so that his privates weren’t so readily visible and the two stared at one another for a long moment.

“Did I do something wrong?” Sephiroth asked, breaking the silence of the stare down and the ravenette tensed a bit in the shoulders. “Or is it... that you’re just decompressing after everything that has happened?” Zack turned his face away for a moment, debating on what to say. He usually told the truth unless he knew it would hurt someone’s feelings; he could never bare to see anyone hurt by anything stupid he had to say, so when he was aware of it he tried to be careful. But, did he want to tell the truth? They had only just bonded. They were only semi-friends if he was honest with himself, if even that judging by how distant Sephiroth always was.

“Just… a lot to take in from when I first went into heat on that mission to now. And I guess I sort of... got overwhelmed,” Zack lied, mildly grimacing as he did so. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. So much for being the honest, trustworthy puppy, though Sephiroth had pointed out rather bluntly that he’d been anything but from the start. “One of the worst weeks of my life,” Zack added with a grin.

“One of the worst?” Sephiroth asked, eyes zeroing in on the ravenette’s face and Zack froze. The silverette held his gaze for a long moment, studying, as all breath halted in the ravenette’s chest, frozen like a deer in headlights before finally, after this brain recovered from its hiccup, Zack pulled his eyes away.

“What? You think this is the worst thing that could happen to a guy?” he asked as he pulled his knees closer to his chest and hugged them. But he knew, Zack knew, he wasn’t convincing, especially considering he found he couldn’t make himself look at Sephiroth without risking a dizzy spell. “Losing Angeal hurt way worse,” the ravenette blurted past a painful swell in his chest, his voice quavering just slightly though he swallowed to regain control of his vocal chords. “Like, I was in serious shit, but... I’m here, safe, aren’t I?” Zack asked, feeling another pull of tension in his chest when he finally managed to look at the silverette from out of the corner of his eyes. The tension in his chest seemed to seep free and fill the air between them, which punched Zack's heart faster and faster as he finally turned his head so that he could fully face Sephiroth who simply stared at him, expression hard to read.

“Of course, you’re safe. It was the whole reason we bonded, or else you’d still be with Hojo,” Sephiroth stated flatly as he stood up finally, his shoes slapping and squishing wet on the floor as his shirt stuck to him and hung heavy, glistening in the water of the shower.

“Looks like you’ll have to shower later if you want to properly clean,” the silverette added as he stepped out of the shower and Zack shivered when the chill of the air in the room further made the cool water on his skin feel downright frigid. Reluctantly, the ravenette stood up as well and turned the water off. Once he got out Sephiroth had finished unbuttoning his shirt and was pulling it off, revealing his firmly muscled, glacial chest and arms while the ravenette grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist quickly to hide. The General, not seeming to care about his nudity, though really, why should he after they’d just had sex, bent over to peel his pants off of him like they were glued to his flesh, his hair already having dribbled a small pool of water around him. Zack turned and spotted the second towel on the rack, grabbed it, and placed it on the counter as he watched the General struggle out of his sopping wet clothes and drop them into the bathroom sink piece by piece.

The ravenette tried not to stare at his mate’s body, but he’d never actually seen his former superior naked since Sephiroth even avoided communal showers, preferring from the times Zack had glimpsed him, to shower in the middle of the night even when on missions. But now he had an up close and personal view. Everything about the man screamed power from the clear, defined musculature of his body, and incredible beauty from the smoothness of his firm skin stretching over his svelte figure. Considering the guy never liked showering with others, he didn’t seem to care that Zack had a clear view of his junk, and wow, it was the first time he had really seen the man and clearly the word well endowed wasn’t quite accurate. 

The towel was grabbed and went into the General’s hair to help squeeze water out as he lifted his face and their eyes met. Zack gasped, back jamming straight as he quickly averted his eyes, just catching the quirk of the silverette’s lips before the man turned and walked out of the bathroom, still rather wet, and still very naked. The ravenette swallowed, throat tight and heart racing in either discomfort or embarrassment, Zack honestly couldn’t distinguish between the two at the moment as Sephiroth walked into his, or maybe their, room across the way and the ravenette quickly set about drying himself off and throwing the offered clothes on, which turned out to be an uncharacteristic gray t-shirt and black gym shorts.

Dressed, Zack toweled his hair as he stepped out into the main room of the apartment and watched as Sephiroth re-emerged with another towel around his lean, muscular hips as he continued to work at his hair while he walked over to the living room and sat on the couch.

“I’ll order some delivery in a few minutes,” the General informed and Zack nodded to himself as he walked over to the couch and gingerly sat down on the armrest while he finished working on his hair. A new tension was starting to build in him, one that came with the realization that he was going to be living with Sephiroth the rest of his life. And there was nothing either of them could do about it. If either of them ever tried to leave, eventually their physical need for one another would overpower whatever other desires kept them apart and they’d be right back together. And Zack realized with a shock, that he was living the nightmare that he’d heard some of the desk bound alpha in ShinRa complain about. Bonding unplanned to someone you didn’t know if you’d like, or didn’t like, and being stuck with it no matter how much you hated it. A frown turned Zack’s lips as a new wave of heat filled his eyes. He’d really fucked up every single little thing in his life, and now he’d fucked up Sephiroth’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will be moving forward next chapter! Zack will be trying to adjust and Sephiroth will be trying to learn how to do the whole... boyfriend thing.


	8. Bumpy Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Sephiroth try to adjust to life together and it's not exactly smooth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I finally got a new chapter out! Things are still a bit bumpy between these two, unfortunately. DX
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that has been supporting this fic! ^_^ Thank you all so much! And I very much hope everyone enjoys this new chapter!
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) who helped me fix up and round out this chapter.

After an order of Wutaian food and channel surfing for a few hours, the two gathered in the bedroom. Zack had a mind to sleep on the couch, but at Sephiroth’s insistence that a mated pair might as well share a bed unless they couldn’t stand one another, the ravenette crawled in on the side facing the door while the silverette took the far side. Back to back, Zack grabbed his pillow and buried his face into it as he stuffed it to his chest. His mate’s scent overpowered his nose, inducing a small shudder down the ravenette’s back. Sephiroth had always smelled incredibly attractive, he had even caught Zack completely off guard the first time he had met him in Wutai considering his sensitive omega nose. It had been momentarily embarrassing as hell and distracting when the SECOND had to force his body as best as he could to not react to the powerful, alluring scent of the alpha, which got to him even while on his pills.

Zack grunted and tried to distract himself from the memories and the presence at his vulnerable backside… in a bed. He needed to not think, he just needed to pass out. The minutes ticked by, hollowing out his heart with each second that passed. He missed his apartment, his bed that smelled like him. He missed owning his own space, his own stuff. He didn’t own anything in this place, nothing at all. He didn’t belong. He didn’t fit. But, at least it was better than the small square room in whatever part of Omega Square he’d been in. It all smelled so sterile and felt so cold, so lonely, far worse than being overwhelmed by his attractive mate’s scent.

Zack gripped the pillow tighter in his fists. Right, he still felt lonely. Even though Sephiroth, his mate, was in the same bed, he felt lonely and vulnerable. Should he bother Sephiroth? Did he even want to? Really, did he want to be close to a man who mated him just to help him out of a tough spot? Zack huffed and debated on taking his pillow to the couch, but, then he’d feel even more lonely. Fuck, why did he have to be so stupid and think about things? He needed to sleep, dammit! Why couldn’t he? So much had happened, he should be absolutely exhausted! Frustration welled up in his chest and Zack grit his teeth as he pulled his knees up and curled around his pillow. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt like this, and it would certainly not be the last. This night just needed to be over so that tomorrow could come, and hopefully bring with it brighter things. And eventually, after brooding over his position in life and fretting over the future, his mind drifted, thoughts becoming discombobulated and blurring together until he finally, blissfully, drifted into darkness.

It smelled so pleasant. And it was incredibly warm, but not only that, Zack roused to the sensation of pressure against his back, wrapped around him, making his arms heavy. A wisp of air disturbed the side of his neck and the ravenette’s eyes fluttered open, waking rapidly as his brain registered each sensation. Breath puffed rhythmic and soft against his neck, sending powerful shudders down his back and inducing a twitch in his morning erection which pressed against his gifted shorts. The pressure on him, or more accurately pressed against his back was none other than Sephiroth, spooning him with one arm hooked around his chest, pinning his arm to his side. One leg had also managed to hook around his ankles, pinning them to the mattress while the silverette rested, still and easy.

Zack tensed as a sigh passed the General’s lips before he shifted with a soft sniff through the nose, forehead burying into the back of the ravenette’s head as he curled in more, the arm around Zack pulling him tighter to the heat at his backside, and the former SOLDIER stiffened when he felt something hard poking his ass. Realization dawned on him then, part of that pleasant smell was the heady musk of arousal. His heart stuttered. When did this happen? The ravenette swallowed, throat tight as his heart beat in loud in his ears. He had never expected Sephiroth to snuggle him in his damn sleep. And the situation was made worse by the fact that the man’s face was pressed into his neck, his breath almost seeming to stroke over Zack’s overly sensitive bonding mark despite the bandage over it. Heat flushed the ravenette’s face as he attempted to lift his arm and shrug out of the silverette’s hold, which prompted a grunt from the General before a sleepy, confused hum slipped from the man before his face pulled away from Zack’s neck.

“Zack?” the silverette asked in a groggy voice as his arm slid off of the ravenette when the man sat up and Zack bit on the inside of his lips. The leg came off of his own and the silverette gave a disgruntled sound before the mattress shook, prompting the ravenette to look over his shoulder to see Sephiroth standing on the floor and rolling his shoulders, sighing when there were a few cracks and pops.

“My apologies for waking up like that. Your scent must have lured me in my sleep,” the silverette grumbled, still waking as he walked around the bed to the long chest of drawers pressed into the wall across from the end of the bed where he pulled a drawer open and pulled out a pair of boxers. Zack frowned, hurt pinching into his heart at such cold words coming from the man he was supposed to be sharing a bed with, cuddling with. As soon as Sephiroth tugged his boxers down, Zack nearly gasped as he jerked his eyes away, face growing even hotter even as he realized the silliness of avoiding looking at his own mate’s body, not only that, they were both guys. But then again, it didn’t seem like Sephiroth was all that interested in acting like mates, so perhaps it was best to avoid looking at each other naked unless he was in heat. The thought however, made Zack’s heart hurt and his lips dipped into a deeper frown despite his attempts to keep them from doing so.

“I’m going to shower and head for work,” Sephiroth informed as he walked back into Zack’s line of sight when he went for the door and exited, walking across the apartment to the bathroom door across from the bedroom in the entry hall/living room space. Without a word the bathroom door closed and the light flashed on inside, filling the gaps of the door through the dark apartment as the ravenette forced himself to sit up and stare around the equally dark, rather tasteful, though minimalist bedroom. Sephiroth didn’t show a lot of personality in his possessions, cuddling him in bed was probably the most interesting thing Zack had experienced with the man other than his incredible battle prowess.

It didn’t take long for Zack to grab the blanket from the bed, tugging it free from the mattress before he hauled it around his body to the couch where he sat down and curled up in it. Turning the TV on he flipped through the channels until he hit the same channel he used to always turn on in the morning for noise while he exercised; it always played the same show with its limited rerun of episodes, and it was still the same as he let himself sink bonelessly into the couch cushions. It felt like a sleep over, but more like a sleep over he would have had after a painful break up with a lover considering how sensitive and emotionally drained he felt staring at the TV.

When Sephiroth emerged from the shower, he wordlessly went into the kitchen and the ravenette watched him stalk through the apartment in only his briefs which showed off far too much. After listening to the silverette fiddle in the kitchen, the man returned and his eyes landed on Zack, curled up in his comforter before giving a nod, which the ravenette stiffly returned before Sephiroth turned and went into the bedroom. A deep frown dipped Zack’s lips as he watched his new bond go about his clearly practiced morning routine that definitely did not include him at all. Before the silverette returned in what Zack guessed would be his full raiment the smell of coffee had grown potent in the air, drawing the former SOLDIER into the kitchen beneath the light and spied the small coffee pot. A minute of staring longingly at the machine, Sephiroth's boots hitting the wood flooring drew Zack’s eyes to the kitchen entrance where each froze, staring silently at one another.

“Good morning,” Sephiroth said, finally greeting him and the ravenette took in a deep breath to try and fight off the twist in his heart. It took until he couldn’t avoid him to finally say something as simple as good morning? “Want coffee?” the silverette asked.

“Yeah, if it’s okay,” Zack muttered, feeling a slight bitterness on his tongue as he moved out of the way while Sephiroth walked up to the front of the coffee machine the ravenette had stood in front of and opened the above cupboard to pull out two mugs.

“Of course,” the silverette said patently. “I wouldn’t have made a full pot otherwise,” Sephiroth informed as he grabbed the pot and filled two mugs until they were full and steaming before he put it away and grabbed up one for himself, taking a sip as he walked away. Zack walked up to the counter after and grabbed his cup, taking a sniff to pick up the nutty and slightly sweet scent of the coffee, only briefly wondering its blend before he took a sip and walked out into the living room. Sephiroth was on the couch lacing up his boots, as he must have been walking around with them unlaced, on the far side of the couch while the ravenette sat down in his pile of blanket.

“So, what happens today?” Zack asked, awkward.

“I’ll go to work. Then I’ll have to file all the paperwork in regards to our bonding,” Sephiroth informed and the ravenette winced a little.

“Are they going to desk jockey you?” he asked and the silverette sighed before he picked up his coffee and took a drink when he straightened up.

“Probably. I’m bonded now, though ShinRa being ShinRa may try to find a way around it,” Sephiroth informed and the frown on Zack’s lips grew worse as his brow twisted in dismay.

“I’m sorry. I really fucked everything up yesterday,” he said, voice quivering slightly.

“I made my decision on my own, Zackary. I made my bed, as it were, and I will sleep in it. I knew I would very likely be put on desk duty when I bonded with you, and I did it anyway.”

“To save me from Hojo,” Zack cut in, voice slightly sharp in frustration when thinking of the accursed scientist. The silverette nodded.

“Yes, it did factor in. But it doesn’t change that I knew what I was getting into. So, unless ShinRa thinks they can figure a way around bond separation issues, though I can only imagine getting around that by sending you with me when I ship out, I’ll be working exclusively behind a desk from now on,” Sephiroth said and the ravenette gave a slow, remorseful nod. Yup, as he knew it, an end to an era. The famous General of ShinRa, the hero of Wutai, no longer the nightmare of enemies on the battlefield. It was going to be a huge blow for ShinRa. Maybe they would try to get around the problems of bond separation, and the only thing that Zack could think of himself was also for them to ship out together. The infamous performance dip and anxiety alphas and omegas experience when separated from their bond was a fully documented phenomena, and without it’d be weird for them to expect Sephiroth to be any different from other alphas. Zack wasn’t keen on trying out the experience either. His mom wasn’t even bonded since his dad was a beta, and still she got super anxious and distracted when he had been gone for a week once a few towns over.

Though if they did want Sephiroth on the field, wouldn’t it be easier just to reinstate Zack as a First? Hah, yeah right. A known omega in SOLDIER? Who the fuck cared if he had earned it, he was still a lowly omega who could go into heat or cause trouble due to his ‘pheromones’. If he was put in infantry they wouldn’t have any of those excuses though. He’d be stronger than any foot soldier and no beta would have an issue smelling him since betas were nose blind to alpha and omega pheromones. But, they would always use his heat against him since suppressants didn’t really suppress heats despite their name, instead they just dulled an omega’s scent down enough to keep alphas from going crazy with meager benefits for the actual omega taking them, though pretty much all unbonded omegas did. Otherwise there was a lot of danger posed to an omega in heat, namely sexual assault. The thought brought a wince to Zack’s features as his heart pinched in his chest.

Sephiroth started walking and the ravenette’s eyes followed him as the silverette drank down what was left of his coffee and walked back into the kitchen where he could hear his mate rinse the cup out before putting it away and returning. Their eyes met again and the silverette gave him a wordless nod before turning and walking to the front door.

“Wait!” Zack called from the couch and Sephiroth paused and twisted enough for their eyes to meet again. “What do I do all day? I’ve always seen you order food to your office or grab something from the mess hall. Do you even have anything in here?” A look of surprise drifted across Sephiroth’s face as he turned to face the ravenette again, a thoughtful look on his face and Zack gave the man a slight glare. Wow, if he hadn’t asked, his own mate would have not even thought about it! He had needs too dammit!

“I’ll order something and have it sent to the door. Pizza work for you?” Sephiroth asked and the ravenette heaved as sigh as he relaxed against the back of the couch, a frown turning his lips.

“Yeah,” he muttered, crestfallen and disappointed that he even had to ask Sephiroth about being fed. He didn’t even have his PHS anymore, and Zack had not seen a landline in the house, which meant he couldn’t even contact his mate if he had a problem. It was utterly ridiculous how much Sephiroth clearly did not actually live in his own home, or how much he clearly was not used to thinking about someone else living in his space. From experience he knew the man was dutiful and meticulous in caring for his troops on the field, but at home he seemed to become almost clumsy in his care and attention for others. Though, admittedly, perhaps Sephiroth would have realized his mate didn’t have anything to eat by lunchtime and have sent him something to eat anyway, but still.

“Is there anything else you need, Zackary?” the silverette asked and after a moment Zack gave a morose sigh and sank down the cushions before bundling up in his blanket.

“No, just send me a soda too, don’t care what it is,” he grumbled and Sephiroth gave a solitary nod before turning, walking away, and stepping out the door. Once it closed, trapping the former SOLDIER inside, alone, a depressed sigh passed his lips. Was this going to be his mated life? Not what he pictured, though to be honest, Zack had pictured himself staying in SOLDIER unmated his entire life, and then he could retire an old man and live out his retirement surrounded by friends. Of course, with no one knowing he was an omega. That was his ideal. Too bad it didn’t happen.

Zack’s brows furrowed. Why did his pills stop working anyway? Missing a dose should not have caused him to go into heat, not when it had completely stopped him from having them in the first place. It should have taken at least a month for the medication to leave his system, so why the fuck did he go into heat at all when he did? Were his last batch of pills defective? No, that wasn’t how medication worked. So the only thing that made sense, all he could think of was... horror gripped his chest tight. Placebos. Zack sat up and leaned forward, heart racing as an anxious sweat broke across his back while a nervous energy zipped through him, urging him to get onto his feet and pace, which he did. Was he really given fake pills? If that were true, he’d been fucking sabotaged! Frustration and suspicion laced Zack’s thoughts as he grabbed his mug and refilled it before making another brew of coffee and drinking from his newly filled mug.

Hojo mentioned knowing Dr. Rade, if he knew him then they must have been working together in some capacity, or was he assuming too much? No, it was Hojo, the skeevy, poisonous bastard was a born backstabber and probably a master of sleight of hand. He’d do whatever it took to get what he wanted. And he said he knew Zack had been an omega from the start, maybe that had to do with Dr. Rade? It was a total conspiracy theory, but Hojo had been quick to act upon taking up his file, and from what the former SOLDIER knew of the doctor, he probably fit the bill of a ‘specimen’ Hojo would want, which the bastard had more than expressed during his short time of captivity. Suddenly feeling nauseous, Zack sat on the arm of the couch and leaned forward, mug in his right hand as he stared at the floor. Dammit. He had so many questions, but most likely he’d never know, since there was no way in hell he would risk trying to confront Hojo himself. He was an exposed omega in alpha territory and Hojo was a nastier bastard than most.

Just thinking about the man made Zack’s blood seethe in hatred. If he could get the bastard alone without any of his nasty tricks he could make the bastard pay easy. But, he would have to let it go. It was over and done with. Hojo couldn’t get him anymore, that was one thing he trusted Sephiroth implicitly to deal with, and judging by how much his mate relished the man’s displeasure he hated the scientist as much as he did. Draining what was left of his mug Zack heaved another sigh, adding to the lost list of them he’d made that morning before setting his mug down on the coffee table and sliding down into his blanket again. He wanted to be happy, to try and carve out a place for himself in Sephiroth’s life, and carrying all that nastiness from Hojo would ruin it for sure, especially when he already had his own issues not related to the scientist to deal with. He just had to be happy he was free of Hojo, and he was, so he should just enjoy the safety his mate had given him.

Zack settled to watch TV, substituting breakfast with coffee when he confirmed his suspicions by finding no food in the house, which was a bizarre reality to behold when looking upon empty cupboard after empty cupboard. The only thing in the fridge was a chilled vitamin water, so… nothing, to which he made a mental note to complain to Sephiroth about. If he was going to be stuck at home, he needed to be able feed himself, and Zack had always had a big appetite which only increased when he became a SOLDIER.

After a proper shower and digging into Sephiroth’s drawers to borrow some clothes, he did some exercises to pass the time and cure his boredom. But even that could only last so long before he was sprawled out on his back on the couch watching TV. Lunch arrived around eleven, and he ate his pepperoni pizza slices with a side of soda in the most lazy way possible. He did get a salad too, which was nice, and he ate it happily. With the leftovers in the no longer empty fridge, Zack fell asleep on the couch for roughly an hour before waking feeling a bit on the depressed side. Frowning at the TV, Zack looked to the front door and sighed. He wanted outside.

“You know what, it’s not like Hojo is going to be hiding in the shadows and stalking me around corners,” Zack muttered to himself as he stood up and walked over to the front door with the decision to leave the TV on for noise when he got back. Grabbing the handle his heart surged in his chest for a moment and he took in a deep breath before releasing it. He was anxious. Why should he be? Sure, he had no weapons and he was alone, but he was a well trained SOLDIER, hand to hand was also another of his skills. The chances of him being overpowered without some nasty trick being employed was near impossible unless he were facing another Sephiroth. Zack shook himself and twisted the knob, popped the door open, and poked his head out. The hall was totally empty- as expected. It was the middle of the afternoon and only ShinRa military staff lived in the building, so very few people would be spotted until the evening with lunch time passed, and most didn’t return home for lunch.

Steeling his spine, Zack stepped into the hall barefoot. It was eerie, absolutely silent and devoid of life other than the occasional potted plant, though thinking about it, the ravenette was pretty sure they were plastic. It almost felt surreal, being in the halls in the middle of the day when he normally would have been in the heart of SOLDIER HQ, being active. And armed. His back felt horribly naked. Shifting his shoulders as he walked into the middle of the hall, Zack frowned as his heart flipped in his chest.

Now that his own safety wasn’t his primal and only concern, the ravenette was well aware that he’d had Angeal’s sword taken from him. Was there some way he could get it back? He wouldn’t be allowed to use it of course, but… God, he hoped that he could get it back. Zack swallowed, gripped by a wave of anxiety. He needed it back. He needed to see if Sephiroth could get it for him. In the meantime, all Zack could hope was that it was stored somewhere safe. Fuck. He really needed the buster sword back. Even if he didn’t have the clearance to walk around with it strapped to his back anymore on the upper plate, it was still his dammit. Angeal had given it to him, not to ShinRa or anyone else.

Heaving a sigh Zack turned on his heel toward the front door and grabbed the front door knob and twisted, but it did not twist. He froze and twisted it again, but it would not budge. The ravenette’s heart shuddered in anxiety as he pushed against the door, it did not open. A deep frown dipped his lips as his brows furrowed in dawning horror. He’d locked himself out the fucking apartment. Shit! He must have twisted the door lock on his way out reflexively. And of course, no fucking PHS! Anxiously taking a couple steps back Zack rubbed his hand over the patch on his bite mark and whined to himself in dismay. Dammit! Zack turned his back to the door and grunted in frustration. Why was he such an idiot?

With a hiss Zack ruffed up his hair with the fingertips of both hands before groaning and staring up at the ceiling. It was going to be hours before Sephiroth got off! Frustrated and downtrodden Zack walked over and sank down to the floor by the door and leaned back against the wall with a dreary sigh. He was so dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Drawing his knees up his chest and hugging them, Zack let his face fall between them and his shoulders sagged.  
He was so dumb.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, but it’d been long enough for his back to get a bit stiff, when Zack heard the elevator ding before the door slid open. Looking up and blinking his eyes to clear them he heard the laughter of a pair and spotted a couple, a man in a fine suit with a blonde woman on his arm and grocery bags in both of their hands. They turned toward his end of the hall and Zack didn’t quite get his head down fast enough to avoid them before their eyes locked with his and Zack winced as he straightened up a bit and smiled at the couple with a wave. The woman slid free of the man’s arm as she walked over toward the ravenette with a returned smile. 

“Hello. Aren’t you Zackary Fair? First Class?” she asked and Zack felt his heart flutter as he immediately stood up and straightened his back upon recognition. An awkward laugh bubbled up from his lips as he ran his fingers through his hair at the back of his skull.

“Uh, yeah, that’s me,” Zack said, his voice straining to remain even under the title he no longer bore.

“What are you doing outside General Sephiroth’s room?” the man, a brunette with matching eyes said as he walked up next to the woman and wrapped an arm around her waist before he gave an awkward pause and sniffed the air somewhat discreetly. Zack’s laugh was still awkward and he winced when he got loud.

“Uh, I live with him now is all, and I uh... forgot I didn’t have a key yet…” the ravenette’s voice just died on him when the woman’s eyes drifted to his neck, a look of surprise and familiarity on her features as his hand left his hair and slapped over his neck. And it was only for a split second that Zack's eyes grazed over a mark on the woman’s neck before his eyes jerked back to her face.

“Um, I’m sorry to hear that,” the woman said, voice unsure and soft with concern. Again, the ravenette gave an awkward laugh when the woman noticed his shifting feet did not have shoes on.

“Well, until he gets back, want to hang out with us?” the man, whose name tag read Jared asked and Zack’s heart twisted in his chest as anxiety bloomed hot through his body. He shouldn’t. He should stay and wait right by the door. But, it wasn’t like anything bad would happen to him. The alpha was clearly bonded, and clearly he’d already smelled what Zack was, and his mate had seen his bandage which everyone understood given his scent. These facts gave away that he was an omega formerly of SOLDIER almost instantly. He didn’t have anything to hide then, and he didn’t exactly want to just sit on his ass for hours in the hallway. Wouldn’t hanging out with a couple be safer than sitting out in the open?

“Uh, sure, if I’m not intruding,” Zack said, an easier smile curving his lips.

“Oh, no. As long as you don’t mind us cuddling up together with you there,” the woman said, tucking some of her pretty hair behind her ears. Like most omega, male or female, she was small and pretty, lovely hair and eyes, and very pretty lips that she painted a delicate pink. It was too bad Zack hadn’t fallen into the typical omega category and turned out more like his mom. Even his dad would have passed for a better omega than him; how the hell the ravenette turned out so fucking tall and broad he’d never know.

“It’s no prob!” the ravenette said in good nature as the couple nodded to each other and invited Zack with them. With that he followed after the couple down the hall, skipping roughly four doors until they unlocked theirs and invited him inside. It was incredibly awkward, standing in a home that smelled entirely alien other than the clear scent of alpha and omega in the room. Clearly they did indeed belong to the space from the smell of the place, added with the quick ease in which they thoughtlessly hung things, put things down and walked into the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?! We were going to be having a nice dinner tonight!” the woman called and Zack flinched a little. Shit, they were clearly planning on an intimate night, and he was totally crashing it because they were being nice and he was being a lonely loser. He frowned, guilt weighing him heavily. He should go back to the hall and wait like he should, what if Sephiroth came back early and found no sign of him? He should go back. With a nod of resolution Zack walked across the space of the identical layout and poked his head into the kitchen to watch them pull fresh produce and meat out of their bags.

“Uh, actually, I think I’ll go back. I don’t wanna interrupt your guys’ date night,” Zack said, drawing their eyes before the woman gave him the most adorable pout he’d ever seen as he walked up to him and jabbed her finger brazenly into his chest.

“We invited you! So you’re not interrupting!” the woman declared with gusto and the ravenette leaned back slightly, as if the power of her words were bowling him over.

“Yeah! We were talking about how we got too much on the way up, it’s perfect to have an extra guest! And besides, I’d love to be able to brag about having Zack Fair at my table!” the alpha said with a laugh as he went back to emptying the bags. “Besides, once my wife decides on something you can’t convince otherwise. So best you just settle down on the couch and watch some TV. We don’t mind. We’ll be with you in a moment,” the man said. Zack’s eyes drew back to the small blonde who then gave him a pretty little smile.

“I’ll get you a beer. You like beer right?” she asked as she turned away from the ravenette and headed toward the fridge before she suddenly stopped and gave Zack a look of realization. “Oh, you can have beer, can’t you?” she asked.

“Oh! Yeah, I drink beer,” Zack answered and when the woman remained still, staring at him with a look of concern and perhaps a touch of confusion his brain stuttered. What? And then it hit. Oh. The ravenette touched the patch covering his neck. Could he have beer? Fuck. Zack’s head hung a little bit, awkward when he answered. “Yeah, I can have beer,” he said. The woman smiled then, pulled out a can and walked it over to the former SOLDIER. Zack took it, feeling sheepish.

“Enjoy~” she said and then returned to her mate’s side. Zack’s eyes fell to his feet for a moment, a heavy burden making his body feel weighty. Right. He didn’t even think about it. Clearly, he could be pregnant or trying to be with the potential bite on his neck, though it was clear what the woman had guessed it to be. Which was correct, of course.

“Are you okay?” the woman asked and the ravenette jerked his eyes up before forcing a smile on his face as he opened the can and nodded.

“Yeah, just a lot going on right now. Don’t worry about me, you two enjoy yourselves, I’ma sit somewhere and let you two have at it,” Zack said and the duo chuckled. “And uh, thanks, for inviting me and giving me beer. Way better way to spend my time waiting,” Zack said with a lift of the can and the woman nodded at him before he turned and walked back into the main room of the house. Unlike Sephiroth there was an actual dining table on the other side of the counter with the TV and couch against the opposite wall.

Taking a seat on the couch, he found the remote and as suggested, turned it on and flipped through the channels until he found the one he had been watching. The movie had ended and something new had started, another one the channel always ran, and settled in. About half way through the can of beer he could feel he’d been drinking some, but it’d take more than a single beer to actually get him drunk thanks to the mako in his system, more like fifteen, but it was enough to relax him and lift his mood slightly, so long as he distracted himself from his thoughts and laughed at the dumb action movie. It was an oldie he had liked as a pre-teen, but it hadn’t held up well.

Despite it not feeling right being in someone stranger’s home, the couple returned and they watched the movie together while each took turns checking on the food. All the while, commenting on the dumb jokes and stupid villains. Dinner was a bit stressful on Zack’s end as he watched and tried to make himself not a nuisance to the couple happily dining together even as they included him in on conversation in between bouts of almost mushy romantic flare ups between them. And damn, that alpha was really into his mate, which was good, but the smell was getting to the ravenette. As the wine flowed Zack started to get somewhat drunk finally, joining the couple in more animated chatter.

Jared wasn’t in the military due to severe knee injuries he’d suffered his first year of service, so he now worked in one of the hundreds of desk jobs related to the military, which was why he was allowed into the military housing. Jared brought up Zack’s history, surprisingly, and it felt like an odd honor to have had someone actually notice him. All anyone ever talked about was Sephiroth. Even during the Wutai war, the silverette had been in B unit, not going as deep or hard as A unit did, which was where Zack had been. It had irked the ravenette immensely at first to hear of Sephiroth's title when he hadn’t been doing as much of the dirtier, harder fighting as Zack had. But, overtime his feelings of scorn had dwindled when he’d realized that Sephiroth, skill wise, deserved all the notice he received, even if it still stung that he had been passed over.

“I’m surprised though. I never thought an omega would ever get into SOLDIER, let alone make First, and become the Lieutenant General. That’s pretty fucking impressive,” Jared said from where they had moved onto the couch. Zack was in the loveseat, switched back to beer while the couple sat tangled up in each other's arms. It was inevitable that it’d come up and Zack grimaced.

“Uh, eheh, yeah,” the ravenette said, awkward as he averted his eyes a little. Perhaps buzzed and unable to notice Zack’s response he continued.

“How did you manage that? It’s pretty illegal. And Sephiroth,” Jared said before his wife, Alice, as the ravenette had learned her name was, burst forward, excited and giggly.

“Are you two bonded?! Omigosh! That would be absolutely perfect! ShinRa’s best! As a couple! How was your bonding?! Ours was so romantic!” Alice blustered before gasping to catch her breath and Jared laughed at his wife.

“Calm down, honey. We don’t know the story,” the brunette said as Alice relaxed back against the couch, somehow taking the pressure off Zack at the same time. It was cute to see such an excited omega happy in her relationship, but it was also a bit hard to bear when the ravenette knew comparisons between Alice and himself were immeasurably painful. It seemed their bond was entirely wanted, probably planned even, and they loved each other. They were so happy and clearly enthralled. The exact opposite of Zack and Sephiroth. It hurt way more than the ravenette was comfortable with. He wanted that, of course he did, but could he? With Sephiroth? After all the negativity he caused between them? They hadn’t even had a good bonding. His heart twisted painfully in his chest as a sudden wave of anxiety washed over him. What if their relationship became really toxic and they both suffered? He’d heard so many horror stories from alphas who’s bonded, usually accidentally, and ended up in relationships they hated. It wasn’t going to be that bad between them, right?

“But, I mean, it is curious. You do have that bandage. And you definitely have the smell of an alpha claim on you. If I were single I’d be staying the hell away for sure,” Jared said with a chuckle, bringing Zack from his thoughts. “Your alpha smells pretty potent, like I’d expect Sephiroth to smell, that guy is not one to take lightly. Only alpha that’d mess with you would be either an idiot or someone with a death wish,” the brunette concluded. Zack frowned as his brows furrowed. He probably shouldn’t say anything. It could cause trouble for Sephiroth if word got out. Word still could come in the form of rumors from these two, though he’d like to think they were nice enough to be discreet and not do that. Before Zack could think to say more, or for anyone else for that matter, there was a knock on the front door. Alice hopped up after a second and peaked out the peephole before spinning on her heel, hands clasping over her mouth as an animated gasp filled the room.

“What’s going on?” Jared asked and the blonde giggled excitedly before giving an adorable little hop.

“Oh! He’s here~ Sephiroth is at our door! He must have followed your scent, Zack!” Alice gasped, almost turning red in the face in her drunken excitement and Zack nearly gasped as he shot onto his feet and hurried over to the door and looked out the peephole as the blonde pressed her hands into his back. And indeed, standing in the doorway was Sephiroth who raised his fist and knocked again. Heart fluttering madly in his chest, the ravenette opened the front door, revealing his mate on the other side. Their eyes met, and the pensive look on the man’s brow grew as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared. Immediately Zack’s heart dropped into his stomach as a deep frown dipped his lips.

“Oh! Sephiroth! Hello!” Alice greeted, perhaps a bit too drunk as her mate came up from behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “We had Zack over for dinner! After he locked himself out!” The silverette gave a singular, polite nod.

“I see. Thank you,” the General said in a polite voice. “I am here to pick him up,” he added, voice cold and professional despite his pleasant words. Zack turned toward the couple with a queasy smile.

“Thanks, guys. I really appreciate you having me over and crashing your night,” he said.

“Oh, it’s not a problem! We loved having you! Didn’t we, Jared?” Alice asked looking back up at her husband who nodded with a pleasant smile.

“Most definitely,” the brunette said as Zack walked out the door.

“Take care! Zack! I want to have dinner again! You and Sephiroth! You should come over and we’ll have something delicious! And talk!” Alice called from the door and the ravenette waved again, tension growing in him as they started down the hall, Sephiroth having completely disregarded the couple entirely as they made their way back to their door. When the couple’s apartment door closed and they finally reached their own Zack stood, hung back and body tight with tension as the door was unlocked and the duo stepped in. It was unbearably silent, and somehow, the ravenette knew it was because Sephiroth was angry.

“Zackary, do not ever do that again,” Sephiroth declared, a cold, icy frost in his voice that cut deep like glass.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was waiting outside until they spotted me and invited me. And I know I shouldn’t have but-”

“I didn’t know what had happened to you,” the silverette cut in, silencing Zack from his nervous rambling. Zack froze, heart clenching in tension.

“I came home, the TV was on, the lights were on, but you were nowhere. And your scent was hours old. I thought the worst until I picked up your trail. If you hadn’t been there... or worse, what if that couple had been nefarious and done something to you? I would not have legally been able to force myself into that apartment unless I saw you. They could have made off with you and done any number of horrific things. You need to think, Zackary. In fact, it’d be best if you stayed indoors for a good long while. Hojo will still be sniffing around. And omega trafficking is a very real and dangerous issue in Midgar. I know you are strong, Zackary. But even you cannot beat one cast of Sleepel, and surprise attacks from behind are difficult for anyone, even me.”

Zack’s eyes fell to the floor, cut with every scolding word Sephiroth had for him. He hadn’t thought Sephiroth to be one for lectures, but apparently he was. And it hurt. It hurt because he was completely right. He hadn’t been thinking at all when he’d walked out of the apartment, and he never should have. Even initially he had thought he shouldn’t, had thought of danger. He was no longer an armed First with the shield of being an alpha. Not that alphas didn’t suffer similar fates, but it was less often.

“Sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter brings in some serious drama with this chapter being a move on from the chaos of the last one's events, smoothing things for the transition into the next big event. And Zack got to see another mated couple.


	9. The Floodgates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack spills one of his biggest secrets, and one can only wonder just what happened in his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Another chapter is out! Unfortunately, there's still a lot of emotional hurt before the comfort comes, as stated in the tags. DX But inch by inch, we're getting closer and closer to the main source of Zack's issues.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and the huge bomb Zack drops on Sephiroth. I can't help but feel sorry for the guy, he's got no idea what's going on. lol
> 
> As a question I'd like to pose to you readers, what do you all think is causing Zack's issues?

“It’s fine, it’s over now,” Sephiroth muttered as he removed his coat and draped it over the side of the couch before going into the bedroom. Zack remained in place for a long, lingering moment in frustration before finally making himself move toward the couch when he noticed something large on the cushions that the silverette’s coat had partially covered. Curious, he walked over and leaned over the end of the couch and his heart jumped in his chest as a gasp broke from his lips. Warmth and excitement bubbled through him as the ravenette rushed to the front of the couch and knelt down in front of it, hands splaying flat over the front of the clear rectangle on the couch.

It was huge and took up the entire couch, and that just made Zack even more excited as his eyes slid along the glistening surface propped up on two small iron mounts under it. There were some scratches unfortunately, which he sometimes wondered if Angeal would have been disheartened over, but the ravenette always did his best to take good care of it. He polished it every night, sharpened it regularly, and handled it with care, but he couldn’t avoid not using it like Angeal had, unfortunately. Everything was as it should be, the designs in the base of the sword, the hilt, the materia slot, it was all exactly as he remembered. Sephiroth’s feet returning to the room alerted Zack to his presence and he looked over his shoulder, eyes bright and wide, a happy smile curving his lips.

“You brought the buster sword back!” the ravenette gasped in awe, and the silverette nodded.

“It was important to you, and it once belonged to a good friend. But in order to bring it into the apartment it had to be in an unusable state, so I had it sealed inside there. We can get some mount hooks and display it on the wall, or buy a stand or something, whichever you prefer,” Sephiroth said before he turned and walked into the kitchen. As his mate did so, Zack’s eyes slid back to the sword, glee and relief filling his chest. He wanted to hug the damn thing. He wanted to hug Sephiroth. But, deciding he was satisfied that it was back in his proverbial hands, the ravenette stood up and walked into the kitchen, mood lifted immensely.

“I suppose you’re not hungry for dinner,” Sephiroth said as Zack leaned against the side of the entrance on his shoulder and crossed his arms. His uplifted mood dropped a little and he frowned.

“No, but I could eat if you are though,” Zack said and the silverette shook his head as he filled a glass with water from the tap.

“It’s fine. I’ll order something for myself,” Sephiroth informed as he walked past the ravenette who straightened and lowered his arms as he followed his mate to the couch. Sephiroth took up the loveseat and Zack sat down on the armrest of the couch as the silverette pulled out his PHS and punched a clearly remembered number. The ravenette’s heart dropped a little more. Did Sephiroth actually come home hungry to eat with him? He knew for a fact the General never ate at home. Dammit.

Waking up half hard wasn’t that unusual as the vestiges of sleep drained from his mind. And a shudder raced down Zack’s spine as the overpowering smell of alpha saturated his senses. Breath puffed against his exposed mark, sending spidering tingles down his spine to the increasing heat pooling in his belly as his cock hardened fully against his thigh. Cracking his eyes open, the ravenette heaved a careful, tense breath. As the past two mornings, waking up with Sephiroth always plastered to his back, arms around him and cuddling him. It seemed his mate was a perpetual snuggler in his sleep, and every time he woke up Zack had to bite on his lip, fighting the growing heat in his groin as he stilled himself. Ah, it was frustrating. Waking up half hard and being actually horny, wanting for action were two different things, and ever since being mated it was definitely a constant. A soft sleepy groan passed from Sephiroth’s lips as his body shifted, pressing closer and Zack’s heart raced, pumping his blood faster when the silverette stirred.

“Zack?” came the low, rumble of sound against his ear and the ravenette’s breath caught in his chest. Would it be so bad? To be touched? It wasn’t like he wasn’t interested, and judging by the smell of arousal building up from his mate, Sephiroth was being affected by his scent in return. It was what people did, especially bonded pairs. His mate’s left arm unwound from around Zack’s waist and a hand pressed to the tight wall of abdominal muscles beneath the ravenette’s shirt and a pulse of arousal filled his body.

“Hmmm, do you want to?” his mate asked casually, voice somewhat still heavy with sleep as his fingers stroked over the ravenette’s belly and Zack’s toes curled, the desire for pleasure growing even as his heart gave into a short, anxious burst. He chewed the inside of his bottom lip, he wanted to. Dammit. It wasn’t like he was being made to do it! All Sephiroth did was ask a simple question, and he struggled to answer it. Zack nodded finally, face flushing hot as he parted his lips and spoke with a quick, hard pant.

“Yeah,” he blurted, and a soft waking hum of interest came from his mate as his hand slid down and into the ravenette’s pants. Zack’s heart burst into a frantic run as lust raced hot through his veins, excitement and anxiety shorting through the fibers of his muscles, tensing his body even as his hips tilted forward, eager for that hand. It dipped into the waistband of his shorts and into his boxers, fingers idly brushing over the course hairs for a second before exploring along the thick fullness of Zack’s cock. A wave of hot pleasure pooled in the ravenette’s groin when his dick was grabbed finally and squeezed, sending another powerful spark of pleasure through his lower belly, swelling his cock and balls further in want. A pant finally broke from Zack’s lips as his body grew hot beneath his clothes and covers. A kiss to his mark shocked an odd bolt into his brain and he gasped, hips thrusting forward against the hand holding him. Why was it so intense, feeling Sephiroth’s breath, smelling him saturating every pore of his body, feeling his heat, his touch? A low, rumbling growl of want slithered into the air from the silverette as his hand gave a strong pull from the base of Zack’s cock to the wet tip and then back, and a gasp of pleasure caught in the ravenette’s throat.

“Mine,” came a low, breathy declaration as Sephiroth sat up and Zack’s back twisted until he was almost half on his back before his mate’s hand left his shorts and the ravenette sank down flat, staring up at the silverette that hovered over him. And like that, the haze of morning arousal was gone. Zack stared up, sobered and pinned by the pupil blown gaze of Sephiroth, lust clouding those usually sharp eyes as his hair fell forward, creating a silvery frame around his face as he dipped down and his breath fanned Zack’s face. The ravenette’s heart raced viciously in his chest, the breath in his face almost hard to breathe against even though it shouldn’t be as its strong scent entered his nose and filled his chest. It was too much. Smelling Sephiroth’s arousal, seeing that intent in those eyes, wanting his omega as his lips pressed to Zack’s own.

The ravenette stilled, his entire body stiff as he was kissed and a tongue prodded at his lips. His heart twisted sharply and Zack grimaced though he knew he couldn’t be quite seen enough to notice, and Sephiroth didn’t seem to notice how tense he’d become as he hesitantly opened his mouth even as a wave of heat filled his eyes. Taking in a deep, stuttering breath through the nose Zack closed his eyes, sparing himself from the invasion of his face space as he allowed Sephiroth’s tongue to plunge into his mouth, seeking out his tongue. They met, the ravenette subdued and unsure while the silverette grew aggressive in desire as their tongues licked and curled around one another. A low rumbling hum of pleasure came from Sephiroth before he pulled free and smiled at Zack who forced an awkward smile of his own. And then, his mate paused and gave him a lingering look.

“Are you okay?” Sephiroth asked and the ravenette felt his heart jump into his throat, suddenly feeling like a kid caught doing something bad.

“Y-yeah,” he answered and one delicate, silvery brow arched.

“Are you sure? I thought you wanted this? Do you want me to stop now?” Sephiroth asked. Guilt and confusion blared hot through his veins as Zack vehemently shook his head. Why the fuck was he acting like this?

“Just nervous. We’ve only done this when I’ve been in a not normal state, you know? Kinda feel like it’s the first time instead of the uh… however many we’ve had,” Zack said, smiling with a show of teeth. The silverette regarded him a moment then.

“Were you a virgin when you went into heat, Zackary? I thought you said you’d done it once before,” Sephiroth asked and Zack’s eyes widened, absolute terror racing through his mind as his thoughts scrambled up in panic. But there was also the realization that he had a chance to fix this. He could save this! And maybe he could still do this, maybe Sephiroth would do things differently if he worded this right.

“I meant heat,” he blurted, heart hammering wildly in his ears, and Zack could swear he was in a cold sweat, not to mention his erection was waning. “Uh, this is a first for me, like, as a normal experience,” he added, blabbering, and realizing in the same instant that what he said didn’t make sense. Taking in a deep breath and lifting his hands until his palms touched Sephiroth’s chest, he closed his eyes a moment, thinking, and then opened them when he released the breath.

“I’d worked through a heat before… is what I meant. Not that I’ve had sex. And then the last time... I was panicked and desperate and all that. So this will be like…. the first time for me... experiencing sex like this,” Zack explained, speaking in stilted sentences and broken pauses as his anxiety grew. Oh, man, what was going through Sephiroth’s head? What was he thinking in this moment? His mate looked at him for a long, painful moment and the mood was pretty much entirely dead by that point. Zack heaved a sigh and looked away. “Never mind, forget it.”

“Do you want to have sex or not, Zackary?” Sephiroth asked, this time more pointedly and the ravenette felt a rush of frustration.

“Not now!” Zack shouted, and the silverette gave him a look of surprise and confusion as he crawled off of the ravenette and sat down on his feet as Zack sat up against the headboard, a deep frown pulling his lips down as he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He looked away, hot pressure filling his eyes as they grew wet with the growing ache in his heart. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to, he truly did. But at the same time he didn’t want to. He was afraid, dammit. It was like as soon as he realized he was pinned he got fucking scared. He was such a coward. He’d rather charge onto a battlefield with near impossible odds of victory with bullets raining down on him, than do this. That sort of fear the former SOLDIER could handle, but this… not this. Sephiroth stared at him a moment longer before he heaved a sigh and got off the bed, and the glance Zack chanced showed him from the bulge in the silverette’s briefs, indicating that the man still hadn’t quite calmed down as he walked out of the bedroom and went straight for the bathroom across the way. It was brutal, how much the deep, throbbing ache grew in his chest. He fucking ruined what could have been a nice experience.

Feeling oddly dejected, even though he had been the one to refuse Sephiroth, Zack pulled on some of his newly bought clothes and went for the couch. Over the last couple days since his incident getting locked out the ravenette had pretty much adapted to living on the couch in the living room, or in the bed. He’d spent the last few days sleeping mostly, and it was starting to really fuck with his head. He needed to get some fresh air, get away from his thoughts. It was feeling like he was getting sucked into a deep black hole that he was going to drown in. Even looking up at the case with his gifted sword mounted to the wall, which had initially made him so happy, was starting to depress him for all the ideals he had failed to live up to, and all the dreams he’d lost. Everything was depressing him. Sitting down on the couch Zack pulled his knees to his chest again and put his face down. What the fuck was he supposed to do with his life now? He had nothing! He couldn’t even have sex! What’s the point of anything? The hot pressure in his eyes returned and a stuttered breath passed his lips when he felt his eyelashes wet. Why couldn’t he have been born an alpha? Even a beta would be better.

The sound and feeling of the couch settling in next to him jerked a gasp from Zack and he jerked his wet face up to stare at Sephiroth who looked straight into his eyes. Immediately the ravenette wiped his eyes and looked away from his mate still only in his briefs.

“You should get ready for work,” Zack said, voice shaky.

“Zack, what’s wrong?” the silverette asked in a strong voice and the ravenette stilled before dropping his arm and looking even more pointedly away.

“Nothing, just sucks still,” Zack answered with some bitterness.

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t do anything, Zack,” his mate informed and a bit of grief flared through the ravenette.

“There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s my problem, not yours,” Zack declared before he tensed, jaw clenching as his lips went between his teeth.

“Problem? Zack, are you unable to stand me? It’s... alright if you don’t like me,” Sephiroth said, though there was an odd note of tension in his voice, perhaps even a note of hurt, “we can try to work around that.” The tone with the words shot an arrow of guilt through Zack’s heart.

“It’s not you! It’s me okay!” the ravenette declared in frustration.

“You can be honest, Zack-”

“You’ve been fine! Okay! I just, I just hate sex! Okay! I hate touching! Even when I want it, I end up hating myself for it! I feel gross after orgasm! Sex makes me feel dirty! Happy?!” Zack shouted, powerful shoulders tensed up before he put his feet to the floor and stood up. “And I’m sorry! I’m sorry you got bonded to me. I’ve fucked everything up for you! Because I’m a selfish shithead!” He couldn’t bear it. Dammit, his mouth was just running. Fuck, he needed to shut-up! Hot water running down his cheeks and teeth grit, Zack walked briskly to the bathroom door. Once inside, he closed the door behind him and fell against it, face in his hands. He couldn’t believe he just said all that. Oh, he’d really opened a can of worms this time. Why the hell did he have to talk? Not even a minute later he could smell Sephiroth at his back through the door and he sank to the floor, a sob catching in the back of his throat as his knees drew to his chest. Why wouldn’t he just leave him alone? After all the awful things he just said?

“Zack-”

“I’m sorry,” the ravenette cut in. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I did that led me here. I’m sorry for lying to get into SOLDIER. I’m sorry for making you bond with me. I’m sorry for this morning. I’m sorry for everything,” Zack said with a heavy, defeated sigh. “I’m so sorry. If I knew how to fix it all, I would.” It went silent then, and after a long, tense moment that stretched on way too long he heard the silverette finally step away from the door. Zack remained in place, heart hollowing out as he listened to the man get dressed and then the sound of his boots as he walked through the apartment. And then, his voice drifted through the door.

“I’m going to work now. Make sure to eat something and try to relax,” Sephiroth said, and then the ravenette listened to him walk away before the front door opened and then closed. Sealing Zack inside his prison and in his own fucking, self-made misery. Well, at least he finally said it. His jaw clenched tight as his eyes burned with water before curling up against the door, the muscles beneath his flesh tight and defined from the tension that filled him. Just what did Sephiroth think now? Fuck. A gasp laden with a sob sucked into his mouth as Zack’s fingers dug into his arms wrapped around his knees. He needed to fix this. He needed to fix it. But the worst part of it all was that he had no idea where to even start.

Zack ended up showering and changing his clothes again before plopping down on the couch. He was spent, after having another wave of intense sobbing he’d been left feeling almost empty inside. Watching TV was mindless, and sleeping felt like it would be impossible. The food bought just for him was unappealing, and no activity sounded remotely interesting. About forty minutes after his shower a knock on the door revealed a delivery man who, after he opened the door, gave him a coffee. It was odd, but the name on the cup read Sephiroth, and it brought a small flutter of warmth to the ravenette’s trepid heart as he bid the delivery driver farewell. Sitting on the couch, Zack brought it to his lips, reflexively sniffing and picking up sweet spice, which piqued his interest as he brought the rim to his lips and took a sip. The delight of sweetness and spice mixed with the nutty flavor of the espresso was a surprising pleasure, and an even bigger surprise that his mate had remembered that he’d liked ordering sweet coffees. Zack drank black fine, but he’d always had a bit of a sweet tooth, and it was just as he liked it. He’d ordered plenty around the man down in the coffee shop just outside ShinRa HQ when they happened to run into each other from time to time, and he recognized the coffee cup to be from the same outfit.

With a small smile, Zack relaxed against the back of the couch and sipped his coffee while watching the TV. It was a nice gesture, and greatly appreciated. And thankfully, it lifted his spirits some as his mind finally, half way through his coffee, felt ready to devise a way to try and fix the blunders he’d made. It wasn’t a lost cause. Sephiroth cared about him. He brought the buster sword back for him. And then he’d gone out of his way to do something as thoughtful as the gift in his hands. And he controlled himself that morning. He had not bought Zack’s lies and kept prodding him to tell him the truth instead of just taking what he wanted like Zack expected most alpha would. Sephiroth was a good man, and he’d always known that, but Zack was finally feeling the weight of its importance, and it was something he needed.

As much as he wasn’t looking forward to it, they should talk about it all when Sephiroth came home. Then maybe they could find some way of working around it. Fuck. Thinking about it was still upsetting. He’d really ruined his mate’s life, and the thought was becoming a broken record. But, the first thing they could do, the only first step Zack could take, was talk about it. There was a lot he wasn’t ready to say, to talk about, but there were some things that he could, for Sephiroth’s sake, and the sake of their bond. The last thing the ravenette wanted was for his mate to grow frustrated and resent him and distance himself. That would… that would be unbearable. He had to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have a rare POV change for a bit where we follow Sephiroth as he tries to dissect what's going on with his mate.


	10. Bond Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth thinks he's found what Zack's problem might be and makes his best educated moves on that premise. But, is he right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! A new chapter out! Yay! This chapter was interesting to write, trying to get into Sephiroth's head and explore his reasoning on what he's seeing in Zack and why he thinks it's happening. But the big question through all this now is, is he right? Or is he totally wrong? It would be interesting, for anyone reading to give your educated guesses on what you all think Zack's problem might be. Is it what Sephiroth thinks it is? Is it something else? Or do you think it's multiple things? Next chapter may answer all questions on that front!
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) who helped me fix up and round out this chapter.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Next chapter will be a biggie in terms of what happens in it, since it will be a direct result of the actions/words Sephiroth takes/uses in this chapter. ^_^

Sephiroth sat in his office, taking his lunch break without working through it only because it was against regulations. But, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, he wasn’t too annoyed with the break and ate in silence while turning over his home life in his mind. No matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t understand where all the negativity was coming from. Zackary Fair, formerly his Lieutenant was a bright and cheery man, personable, dependable. He had an excitable, good-natured and fun loving attitude that made him very popular among the ranks. Even if he didn’t carry quite the favor with women to gain the throngs of fan clubs that were honestly irritating on a good day. He was well liked and had many devoted friends. The gag order issued upon his dishonorable discharge was actually met with quite a bit of hostility and quiet resistance by those who knew him.

And yet it was almost as if an entirely new man had taken his place. An anxious man, a man who had lost all his self-confidence and had fallen into a deep hole of depression. Was it losing his position? Was it being discovered that he was not what he claimed to be? Or… was the issue more to do with Sephiroth himself? The silverette remembered clearly how distressed Zack had been when he’d pleaded for his help, but he’d been in heat, the first heat he’d had in years apparently, so distress could be understood. But that distress never seemed to go away after that, not when his heat was over and not now that he was bonded.

Sephiroth slowed in his chewing, a frustrated line to his brow. Did he do something wrong? Just that morning had been absolutely confusing. Zack had been interested, he had smelled his mate’s arousal, and he’d been responding positively until suddenly he wasn’t. It was as if as soon as he saw Sephiroth’s face he didn’t want to couple anymore. Was it not a logical route to think that the issues revolved around himself? It certainly seemed so. Zack had seemed... disappointed when he had comforted him the day they had bonded, almost like he hadn’t happy that the silverette had been there at all. Or was he misreading the situation? Zack had been so adamant in that emotional explosion that he didn’t have a problem with the silverette, that the problem was with himself. But, he could have easily been lying? Though what was the point of it? If he didn’t like Sephiroth, it would be the best and healthiest option to let him know. That way the silverette could work to rectify whatever it was that was wrong. Sephiroth sighed and hung his head, dropping his nearly tasteless sandwich into its box from the mess hall.

If he went back to the root of it all, all this suffering was due to the lies Zack had made. If he had never lied to get into SOLDIER he wouldn’t have had so much to lose and suffer from. And they would not have been put in the situation to force themselves to bond together. The knowledge still sparked a flare of anger in Sephiroth. But, it was in the past, there was no use crying over spilled milk, as it were, even though the silverette was struggling to do just that. Sephiroth lifted his left hand and dropped his lower chin into his palm as he leaned forward on it. He would forgive Zack at some point, but at the moment, he just couldn’t quite do it yet, even though he wasn’t so repulsed anymore. Though, admittedly, no matter how betrayed he felt by Zack’s lies, it didn’t mean that whatever troubles his mate had were something to be ignored, nor deserved. And then Sephiroth’s thoughts paused for a second when a thought occurred to him.

Bond Anxiety? All of these problems, his declaration of hating sex, did it all stem from anxiety? Thinking about it, it made sense. Zack had been anxious ever since being discovered, understandably upset to have had everything he’d worked for taken from him. His whole life, yanked out from under his feet. And worse, to be taken by Hojo who did things Sephiroth had not even been bold enough to ask about. And to pile on top of all that, a bonding, something else that just stole control of someone’s life from their own hands. Once bonded a pair could never part, and could never have anyone else. They would never be able to have any other lover, even if they fell in love with someone else emotionally, their instincts would reject the person in favor of their bonded half. Bond anxiety was far more common than many realized, which was unfortunate.

Sephiroth’s brow tensed. It all made so much sense. Zack not happy being around him, not wanting to have sex, okay with being touched but then anxious as soon as he was confronted with the full knowledge of who was touching him. And Zack kept expressing boundless remorse over their bonding, though he was putting emphasis on his fucking up Sephiroth’s life, it might very well be self-projection. He straightened up in his chair then and looked down at his sandwich before picking it up and eating with intent to finish and be done.

What could he do to ease his anxiety? He could see if Zack wanted to be medicated, but due to his mate’s past of abusing medical drugs it might not be wise. Before resorting to that, perhaps he should try to figure out what he could do to ease Zack’s anxiety with his actions and words, to see if he gained any positive responses before taking him to a doctor. Zack most definitely needed space, though perhaps not to be alone all the time. Would it not be a good idea for Sephiroth to figure out how to spend more time at home, but not necessarily in Zack’s space. He could try that, take the less confidential aspects of his work home so that he may be able to maybe help his mate adjust his presence, to his being there without being pressured to act as a bonded pair.

Well, it was good he was just a desk jockey now, it made being home a lot easier, which was the whole point with the addition that he would probably suffer a massive performance drop in being so far from his mate for so long, like all mated pairs. And in the military, alpha men could not take such hits while in active combat. It had caused quite a stir when Sephiroth had submitted his paperwork on it, but it was what it was. No one could change it.

Finished with his sandwich, the silverette looked at the clock on his desk, noting the time and sighed in relief as he threw the empty sandwich box into the trash bin by his desk and went back to work so that he could perhaps surprise Zack by coming home early, but do his best to not put any pressure on him. Which certainly meant no sex. That was going to be a bit of struggle, he couldn’t help finding his omega’s scent attractive, but it would be for the best if he controlled himself and let Zack feel his way through their sudden and compulsory relationship.

After pounding into his paperwork and completing his scheduled inspections of a few of the infantry units, Sephiroth was home nearly an hour early. As he rode the elevator up after locking up Masamune in the weapons lock up in the lobby, the silverette reminded himself to temper himself and avoid putting pressure on his mate. But to do that he first had to figure out what it was he was doing that was adding pressure to the relationship. Sephiroth already figured bringing up Zack’s wrongs and his loss of position would be an obvious subject to avoid, instead he needed to focus on the positives, though with their rough launch it was not exactly easy to find something positive to try and help his mate focus on. It was going to be difficult when he truly did not know just what the underlying cause was, so he would have to play it by eye and ear for a while, and make as little impact as he could until Zack either told him or gave some sort of indication on what was good, and what was bad.

And so, with a deep, careful breath Sephiroth slid his card key through the door lock and when the light flashed green, pushed the barrier open to be greeted by none other than Zack. The silverette’s heart stuttered a second as he eyed the ravenette who gave him a somewhat awkward smile from where he sat facing the door on the armrest of the couch.

“Hey,” Zack greeted and Sephiroth nodded in acknowledgment as he closed the door behind him and went for the hooks by the door to relieve himself of his coat, realizing in the back of his mind that he didn’t need to dress in his fatigues and armor anymore. He could probably go to work in a business suit like most office employees. Ah, what a strange feeling.

“How was your day?” Sephiroth asked, unsure what to say as he finished pulling his last pauldron free and hanging it before finally shrugging out of the heavy weight of his duster and hung it up, exposing his bare back to his mate who seemed to stutter a second before responding in a quick lipped fashion.

“Fine, I guess,” Zack blurted before going quiet.

“Were you bored?” Sephiroth asked, eyes fixing on his coat as he listened to the sound of the ravenette’s voice.

“Yeah. But I mean, sitting here versus you know, doing what I did before is going to be boring no matter what,” Zack answered, tension coming to his voice and the silverette winced slightly. Okay, perhaps he should have thought of something else to talk about.

“Um, about this morning,” Zack began to say, and even though a wave of preparedness for negativity hit the General, the ravenette didn’t say more. So perhaps the ball was in his court? What would be best then? Should he tell Zack it was alright? That he didn’t need to worry about it? Or… no. He couldn’t ask his mate to say more. He was upset enough that morning, he didn’t need to start it up again when it would only hurt himself, or worse, them both.

“It’s fine,” Sephiroth said as he finally pulled from the door and looked at Zack, whose face looked absolutely sullen, guilty even from the low dip of his lips and the curve of his brow.

“But-”

“We are a brand new bond formed under stress. It’s a big change for us. We can wait to try anything particularly intimate until we are more comfortable with each other. Until then, I think we should give each other space and time to adjust,” Sephiroth informed and Zack stared up at him, a look of horror on his face. For a moment the silverette almost faltered, tempted to retract what he’d just suggested before the ravenette looked away and heaved a heavy sigh.

“Yeah, it’s a big change,” Zack muttered, voice falling quiet before the ravenette stood up and plopped down on the couch to stare at the TV as he grabbed the remote and turned it on.

“You’re home earlier than you’ve been,” the ravenette said in a dejected tone.

“I got all my essential work done early today. I still have some documents to finish, but due to their nature I can do them here. Are you hungry?” Sephiroth asked as he walked over to the coffee table and dropped three manila folders onto the edge furthest from Zack before he turned and walked into the kitchen.

“No,” Zack said, a moody edge starting to seep into his voice. The silverette paused and took a second to collect himself. He shouldn’t second guess himself or back out of the path he had chosen unless he actually saw evidence that it was the wrong one. Being wishy washy was not the sort of environment someone with Bond Anxiety needed.

“I’ll make spaghetti, you can get some for yourself if you get hungry later,” Sephiroth said with a sigh as he walked up to the stove and pulled a saucepan and pot from the cupboard by the oven and placed them on the front two burners. 

After boiling noodles and heating up a simple sauce from a jar, the silverette served himself and brought a glass of water with him to the couch where Zack sat, staring at the TV, though he seemed to be distracted perhaps by his own thoughts. Sephiroth sat down and dug into his spaghetti, twirling the noodles around his fork while casting side glances at his mate. It was definitely uncharted territory. When was the last time he had to think about someone else so constantly? The last time he actually ate at home? When did he ever actually stock his kitchen? He had done so, naturally so that Zack could eat when he was hungry without the silverette having to remember to feed him when he regularly neglected to remember to eat himself.

But these gestures weren’t what his mate needed. By the gods, Sephiroth wished he knew what was going on in Zack’s mind. The ravenette was resisting stating what needed to be said, which meant the silverette would have to leave him to come around on his own. Yet for some reason his bond seemed upset with that, even though he clearly seemed to show it was what he wanted. It was confusing. But, he would have to do his best, keep calm, and wait. Sephiroth was capable of great patience and he would exercise it. Though, if his mate was having difficulties with intimacy due to Bond Anxiety as he suspected, it was going to make his coming heat difficult to navigate. Though, if Zack begged him for relief, Sephiroth reasoned it would be more cruel to resist him, which he wondered if he’d even be able to once that enticing scent hit his nose and boiled his blood.

Once Sephiroth finished his meal he grabbed one of his folders, caught the pen that rolled out from inside, and pulled it open, all the while feeling the tension radiating off of his mate in waves. Perhaps he should do his work elsewhere. His room? Well, it was their room now. The silverette paused when a thought dawned on him and his heart stilled a moment. What of the apartment was Zack’s? Angeal’s sword sat proudly on display, the kitchen was full of things his mate had primarily chosen when they’d gone out. Half the drawers in the bedroom had been delegated to Zack’s use. He had his own toothbrush now, deodorant. What else did he have? What on the walls? The furniture? Of course, he only just moved in, but under normal circumstances there would have been loads of boxes brought in, containing the new occupant’s scent, their personality, their feelings.

Everything other than Angeal’s sword was new. Admittedly, there also wasn’t much to be done after ShinRa emptied Zack’s apartment. But still, they hadn’t done any sort of shopping for anything to delight his mate. Sephiroth loathed shopping, it was why everything was so sparse in his home, he only had what he needed, which primarily was what the apartment came with when he’d gotten it. Everything else he ordered online and had delivered. But Zack had clutter, though he’d never been in his mate’s apartment, the ravenette’s work desk was always cluttered with trinkets and training related things. He was always rifling through things to find his work, which had always been such an annoyance back when they’d worked together since his mate had a habit of putting off paperwork. Which meant… everything about their home spoke of a temporary dwelling, only in a place someone weren’t supposed to be would be sparse of their things, their scent, their feelings. Sephiroth’s apartment only smelled like him thanks to sleeping in it for years, primarily. And the silverette could only realize after taking in such thoughts, that Zack must have felt completely alienated, foreign in a place meant for him.

“Hey, Sephiroth,” his bond’s voice accompanied by a shift in the couch by his side drew the silverette’s gaze to his left. Sephiroth turned his face toward the ravenette as the man settled next to him and to the alpha’s surprise, muscular arms wound around his neck and he was pulled on by the strong limbs, tipping him as he turned to catch himself on his left hand, his papers bending and crinkling beneath him and against the back of the couch. Their eyes locked and Zack smiled, but there was a weird look in his eyes that Sephiroth couldn’t quite decipher.

“I want to try doing it now,” the ravenette declared, smirking as he slid one leg between the silverette’s stabilizing arm and his side while the other wrapped around his unguarded right side. Sephiroth’s thoughts derailed for a brief moment, dumbfounded by the turn of events as his mate pulled on him until he had no choice but to relent, otherwise risking falling down on top of him with his full weight. The heat radiating from between his mate’s legs pressed against his pelvis, the spread of legs inviting the smell of male sex. And it was indeed inviting, so much so Sephiroth felt a twitch in his dick. But there was something lacking, something that should have been there. No arousal. What the hell did Zack think he was doing?

“No,” Sephiroth muttered in an unsure breath and his mate tensed for a moment before pulling on him again and wrapping his legs tight around his waist, pulling their lower bodies flush together as the weight of his body and pull of his arms led them to lay on the couch with Zack on his back.

“I promise. I swear. This morning was weird and I’ve been regretting it all day. I was just having issues. I want to try this. Sex is fun, and feels good, right?” Zack asked, though there was a note of apprehension in his tone that slowly grew as he spoke. Sephiroth hung his head, his cock was starting to swell with blood as a familiar warmth filled his lower belly and swelling testicles. He wanted to, he very much wanted to; it was such a temptation. Why did Zack have to smell so damn good? Sephiroth grunted as he shifted onto his knees and bent his back more to stabilize himself with his mate’s arms around him as he lifted his hands and grabbed the hands at the back of his neck.

“No, I think you were telling me the raw truth this morning. And you’re being anxious that you’ve upset me,” Sephiroth said as he grabbed Zack’s wrists. Surprisingly, he was met with some resistance before the ravenette whined and let his grip go, hands flopping lifelessly on the couch, one dangling over the side as he turned his face away while his legs slipped from Sephiroth’s sides.

“I’m sorry I said anything. I’m so fucking dumb,” Zack muttered. Sephiroth took in a breath, collecting himself. The ravenette used to get mad when people called him dumb in the past. Without a doubt, the Zack he was looking at was not the one he had known. Perhaps this was the real one, the omega Zack Fair. Why did being an omega seem to make such a difference?

“Zack, I don’t know what ails you. But, I think you need some space. And we can try to do more to make you feel more at home here,” Sephiroth said as he sat back on his feet and straightened his back. “Hell, perhaps even a vacation might be a good idea,” the silverette muttered before a sudden wave of appeal washed over him.

“Why not a vacation?” Sephiroth asked and Zack turned his face to finally look at him as he crossed his arms over his stomach.

“I don’t think that would change much,” the ravenette muttered in a moody tone. Sephiroth chanced a small smile.

“I think it would. There’s too much negativity here. Everything you’ve been through has been right here in Midgar and the change for you has been life altering. I think some place else, some fresh air, different sights, sounds, smells, all of it could help the both of us relax and ease our tension,” Sephiroth said as Zack looked away a moment, as if in thought.

“Well, maybe. A place that’s fun would probably be good,” Zack offered and the silverette’s smile grew.

“Excellent. I have a pile of vacation days I can use, so it’s just a matter of making sure everything at HQ is squared away,” Sephiroth informed, feeling a wave of accomplishment wash over him to have his mate warm up to the idea.


	11. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack begrudgingly returns home before he can go on his vacation, and one of his greatest fears is realized by a mere slip of tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Another chap here! Longer than usual, but we are on the precipice of finally figuring out what is going on with Zack! I'm honestly feeling slightly iffy with the last page of this chapter, but I wasn't sure what I wasn't liking, or what I could do to better it. But! We are on our way to the dramatic conclusion of our story-long mystery.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and interacting with this story thus far!

Zack had actually been excited, cautiously so, but still excited. The more he thought about it, the idea of getting out of the city for a while, going somewhere fun would be great. The idea of sharing a bed with Sephiroth was still somewhat of an anxiety if things got sexual, but somehow he knew he would prefer that to having two separate beds, which imagining made him feel frustratingly lonely. He really wished he was more consistent, being so back and forth on how he felt around his own mate and sex was becoming frustrating. 

But, he felt a little more confident now, Sephiroth wasn’t mad that he’d turned him down, that he’d blurted all that stupid shit he should have kept himself. Instead, his mate seemed to want to help him feel better, a move he greatly appreciated. Maybe if they got closer, maybe if he felt more comfortable, maybe he could heal those old battle scars and finally engage in his bond as he really, truly wanted to. Sephiroth was an incredibly attractive and capable alpha, had always been, and the fact that he had THE General as his mate was such a lucky break. 

Zack had always found the man attractive, and in the rare moments he allowed himself in the past to remember that he was actually an omega, he had wondered what it would be like to have the man as his. And now he quite literally did. Truthfully, when he thought about it, Zack felt like the unpopular girl in a teen romantic drama who got the beloved jock. But, his anxiety about sex was definitely getting in the way. It would be great if he could somehow make progress in that area of their relationship and embrace being an omega over the vacation. Though asking for something like that after one vacation was probably not going to happen, but he needed to keep his thoughts positive and even if he wasn’t ready for intimacy by the end of the trip, it should still be a step in the right direction. Hopefully Sephiroth wouldn’t get frustrated with him if he took too long to be ready in the long run, which was admittedly, a new stress welling up within him.

So, Zack started trying to think of places to go. Really the most appealing places were either Costa Del Sol or The Gold Saucer. The fun promised by the Gold Saucer was definitely more demanding for Zack’s interest while Costa Del Sol was a pleasant distraction, but he wondered if he’d be too calm, allow him too much time with his own thoughts. But, price would be a big part of where they went. He didn’t want to ask Sephiroth to spend a shit ton of gil on him just to make him feel better. So, having narrowed the possible locations down, Zack had been prepared, even excited to talk about their trip when his mate returned home, early again, from work. They were eating on the couch, and the ravenette froze, eyes wide as his heart dropped into his stomach when a familiar name dropped from his bond’s tongue. Gongaga?

“Why there?” Zack asked, voice perhaps slightly strained.

“We can go to the place of your choosing afterword. But I thought it would be appropriate to visit your parents and inform them that you have bonded, and so we can formally meet. As far as I’m aware, they still have no idea,” Sephiroth informed as he put his spoon back into his bowl of stew and looked directly at the ravenette. Zack tensed, brain scrambling as panic smashed into his heart. Not there. Anywhere but there.

“We can just call them, or send a postcard with a picture,” the ravenette blurted, voice a little breathy. His mate went quiet for a moment.

“That’s rather cold, don’t you think?” the silverette asked. “Zack? Why do you want to avoid home? Do you not like your parents?” Sephiroth asked, voice unsure, and Zack put his bowl down on the coffee table with a sigh. Dammit. He had actually been excited. Why did the silverette have to ruin it like that?

“Just… I left it behind,” the ravenette muttered.

“But your roots are there. Your family. You… don’t want to see them?” Sephiroth asked, voice growing careful and perhaps a tad confused. Zack hung his head, defeat weighing him. He had no good reason to give. His jaw tensed. Fuck. He never expected the silverette to actually want to meet his family, though in retrospect, it made sense. They had bonded, a permanent arrangement that could at some point result in children. It was also a bit of a social taboo to not meet the parents of your bond. And then a thought came to the ravenette and he took in a careful, trepid breath.

“What about your parents?” Zack asked. Sephiroth did not once talk about anything personal in all the time he’d known the man. And though it was potentially a low blow, if he was going to have to face his home town again, then so did Sephiroth. Or maybe… as Zack hoped, if Sephiroth refused he could use that as an excuse to refuse as well. It made him feel dirty, but desperation was rapidly building in him. He did not want to go back to that place. He could talk all the good things about it on the surface, but actually setting foot there was absolutely something he wanted to avoid.

“I don’t have any,” Sephiroth informed and the ravenette felt a stab into his heart and he slid his eyes over toward the silverette who looked down at his bowl, but his expression was hard to make out.

“I’m an orphan, unfortunately. I was actually raised right here in ShinRa, in the labs,” Sephiroth informed, his voice growing softer, contemplative. Zack straightened up and stared at the far off look he could see in the silverette’s profile. Shit. Why was he always such a dick? “From what information I’ve been able to gather, I think I was an experiment of Hojo’s. I used to think I was procured by the labs as an infant in Nibelheim, but I think I might have actually been born there as an experiment,” Sephiroth explained and the ravenette fell silent as his gaze fell to his lap. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Zack muttered.

“No, it was fair. If I’m asking to meet your parents, you should meet mine. But, unfortunately, I don’t have anything to offer in return. Well, unless you want to see Hojo again,” Sephiroth informed, a bitter touch of humor to his words at the end of his statement that Zack sensed a bit of anguish within. But in a moment it was gone as his mate straightened his back.

“Okay, we don’t have to go to Gongaga. I want this to be a trip to help you relax, not induce more stress. We can always try to meet them later when you feel ready for it,” Sephiroth announced and Zack frowned, guilt gripping his heart. Now he was exposed as being a total child if he took up the offer, even if Sephiroth didn’t think so, he felt like one.

“No, we’ll go,” Zack muttered with a defeated sigh. His mate turned and looked at him, and the ravenette reluctantly met his gaze, looking like a child about to get a spanking.

“We don’t have to,” Sephiroth repeated and his mate shook his head, brows tensing up together in distress.

“No, we should. You’re right, my parents should know. And they shouldn’t find out through a call or postcard. That’s shitty and they deserve better than that. And you shouldn’t be denied meeting them. It’s,” Zack winced a little, “not my parents that make me not want to go back. I love them, and I miss the house, the food, I miss lots of things. But some bad stuff happened back there that I don’t want think about, even though I stupidly think about it all the time. But,” Zack paused, trying to collect his thoughts to make sure he didn’t say anything stupid. “I just don’t like being in the place where it happened. Being there, makes it feel worse, if that makes any sense.” The ravenette looked up and locked eyes with his mate, who gave a soft nod.

“I know the feeling, at least somewhat. I hate going to the labs. Even though I obtained freedom once I joined SOLDIER, I still have to go there periodically, and it’s… the last place on the planet I want to be. But, I have no choice, I have to go,” Sephiroth said, eyes looking away in thought, perhaps in memory. A small smile curved Zack’s lips despite the painful bite in his chest as lifted his right hand and rest it on his mate’s strong upper back.

“Well, I guess we both got places we hate being. But, just this once, until I’m strong enough to not be bothered by it, I can go home. You can meet my parents, eat some good food, probably hear embarrassing stories about me, see baby pics my Ma will want to show you, and then we can go on our vacation,” Zack said, though his smile was struggling to remain on his lips, growing more and more false by the second. Sephiroth turned more toward Zack, looking him directly in the eye.

“Are you sure? I would hate for the vacation to be ruined because I made you go someplace unpleasant beforehand,” his mate asked and the ravenette gave a hard nod.

“M-hm! Just… if I get touchy or act weird, just don’t make me talk about anything, okay? I know I’ll be happy to see my Ma and Pa, but everything else is up in the air,” Zack said. There was hesitation, perhaps Sephiroth was looking for something in his mate’s face, but the silverette finally nodded.

“Okay.”

The days leading up to the departure date only made Zack much more fitful. Stress kept him awake with dread, weighed his stomach, and kicked his heart into brief moments of overdrive. And the more he thought about it, the more the ravenette felt he needed to tell Sephiroth something to make sure they were on the same page. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to get himself to voice it until they were packed up and on the road. It wasn’t exactly a conversation he wanted to have, in particular since it involved his lies that had made his mate so mad at him in the first place.

“So, uh, Seph? There’s a few things I gotta tell ya,” Zack said after they’d settled down into their train seats. First by train, then by air all the way to Gongaga. They had a couple days of travel ahead of them, plenty of time to hopefully work through whatever might cause disagreement between them. Since the former SOLDIER had a feeling Sephiroth wasn’t going to approve of what he had to say.

“Yes?” the silverette responded to the left side of Zack on the inside isle, which had been agreed upon since the ravenette had a habit of getting bored and restless, so a window seat offered some entertainment. Zack sucked in a deep breath and spoke in a breath.

“You can’t tell them I was in SOLDIER,” he said and ravenette swore he felt the man’s energy tense for a second.

“Oh, yes, I figured. Your parents would know you could never join without enabling your wrongs,” Sephiroth answered in a flat voice, and Zack winced a little. Yeah, not a topic he wanted to bring up.

“Oh, okay. Good. So uh, I told them way back that I was working retail at the 24hour ShinRa Super Store,” Zack informed and a grunt came from the General.

“What lie do we tell them for how we met then?” Sephiroth asked, a note of displeasure in his voice and the ravenette felt a small rush of anxiety beat into his heart.

“I uh… I dunno, exactly,” Zack said, his voice shaking with growing unease. “I thought we could have met when you went… shopping?”

“I don’t shop,” Sephiroth answered, a growing grumble in his voice and the ravenette frowned. Yeah, he had not wanted to do this, but he had no choice.

“We could tell the truth,” the silverette interjected and Zack whipped his head to stare at his mate’s profile.

“But-”

“Do you have to keep lying? Wouldn’t it be better to just end all the lies? I understand it’s not pleasant to face the penalties for your lies, but you’re going to have to keep lying to keep up this facade, and it’s only going to be a growing source of negativity for you,” Sephiroth said and Zack felt like he might have deflated a bit into his seat. His mate was right, of course. But, dammit, did he want to face the music now? Was he ready? Though Zack wondered if he could even keep it up, it was easier to lie when he was over the phone, but right to their faces? Could he really do it? What if his parents, in particular his mom’s motherly six sense, call him on it? His eyes fell to his lap, a deep frown turning his lips. A loud morose sigh caught Zack’s ear.

“How about we met in the slums. I have been called down there to eliminate monsters in the area when they grow out of hand and risk reaching the upper plate. We could have met that way I suppose. But, Zack, if your parents ask for details I’m not going to supply them,” Sephiroth said, distaste growing in his voice.

“But, shouldn’t we have our story straight? So that it’s believable?” Zack asked when he looked at the silverette and Sephiroth gave him a pointed stare. 

“I’m not going to actively help you lie to your parents. I think we should tell the truth. Let your parents come to terms with it, and then we can move on,” the silverette informed. The very idea made Zack’s heart drop and his frown returned.

“I don’t want to disappoint them,” the ravenette muttered.

“Would it not be better to be forgiven for past mistakes and live with a clean slate, than continue lying your way through life?” Sephiroth asked and Zack slumped in his seat and looked out his window. Yeah, he hadn’t wanted to have this conversation. But, he had to try.

“Besides, if you tell the truth, we may be able to help soften the blow by telling them about your accomplishments. An omega getting into First was thought to be impossible,” Sephiroth suggested and Zack heaved a forlorn sigh.

“And then I have to tell my Ma that I can’t have kids,” the ravenette muttered.

“That’s actually not yet known,” Sephiroth said and Zack looked up at his mate.

“Huh?” The General paused for a moment, a look of debate on his face before he leaned in a little closer toward Zack who leaned in himself.

“Hojo’s interference with your mako injections,” Sephiroth informed in a soft, secretive voice. “I was able to hack into the science department database through a crack in the system’s security. I haven’t been able to gain access to everything, but I did find a lot of information on what Hojo was trying to achieve with you from the very first day you were cleared for mako injections,” Sephiroth explained and Zack’s heart thumped hard in his chest. 

“It seems that he was in regular contact with Dr. Rade, primarily to procure omegas for experiments that he couldn’t do even though Omega Square, which has a lot of flexibility. So, Hojo was keeping tabs on all the omegas in Midgar who went to Dr. Rade. And when your file came across his desk, like all SOLDIER members who are cleared for mako treatments, he recognized your name and gave you an injection of mako he had altered with something he called R cells, the R standing for reproductive, though I do not believe these cells to be something easily obtainable. It seems Hojo has been wanting to correct the issue that results in sterilization for any egg carrying host that receives mako treatments. The omegas he’d tested the serum on before were listed as inferior due to their physically weak bodies and sensitivity to mako. I believe most perished, unfortunately,” the silverette said and Zack felt a wave of anger unfurl in his chest as his hands on the armrests of his chair tightened. 

“Every injection of mako you received was different from everyone else. And it seems his latest tests did not list you as sterile, but it was not conclusive enough on whether you could bare children, so he had decided to start trying to impregnate you, but of course, that’s when you escaped,” Sephiroth explained before pulling back to sit straight in his chair while the ravenette remained in place, stunned as the information slowly settled in his chest and his eyes grew hot for a moment before anger lit up in his chest and he slammed himself into the backrest of his chair, a glare on his features.

“So, basically Hojo might have tried to get his hands on me no matter what,” Zack grunted, looking to see his mate nod his agreement.

“In the case of Hojo, it was actually probably for the best that you did join SOLDIER. As a civilian, you would have simply disappeared. In SOLDIER, you were officially identified and tracked to a degree, and the bonds you forged helped protect you for the years you were there. And of course, it’s thanks to your being in SOLDIER that we met and were able to bond and protect you from Hojo,” Sephiroth said and Zack felt a wave of nausea roll through him. Oh, fuck. 

“Still doesn’t excuse what you did. But, if this information perhaps makes you want rethink trying to come up with some silly, false story about how we met, I am glad to have shared it,” the silverette informed and Zack frowned despite the anger smoking in his chest. Sephiroth was too good at this, he was whittling him down until he was going to tell the truth. And it seemed he had been sitting on that golden nugget of information, which was not cool. Fucking Hojo. Fucking sicko scientist. He wasn’t a fucking specimen, he was a human being! The ravenette’s hands slid to his belly and gently pressed against his lower abdomen. If he had been anyone else, an omega that hadn’t caught Hojo’s interest, would he have ever made it into SOLDIER? Would Hojo have outed him right from the start? He was just an unwitting pawn the entire time.

“I’ll tell my Ma and Pa during our visit. But, can we just avoid it until I’m ready?” Zack asked.

“Are you sure? I’ve been being pushy, I know. I hate deceit more than anything; a result of being raised by Hojo I think. Being tricked and manipulated by that man growing up has made me develop quite a bit of hate for trickery. I don’t want to lie to your parents, but I won’t force you to tell the truth either, even though I strongly urge that you do,” Sephiroth said and the ravenette heaved a heavy sigh.

“Yeah. I get it. Lying is bad. Man, I really dug myself into a deep hole,” Zack said with a sigh. “I was an honest kid, I swear. I guess, after I left home, I was so determined to join SOLDIER, to prove that I was more than what everyone thought of me. That I was more than just an ugly omega. That my giant, alpha-like body could be good for something. That I could be the strong hero someone needed. That I could do it if I tried hard enough. But, I was always trapped by my omega biology, so… I lied. And then, I just couldn’t stop lying, cuz I was afraid of being caught.”

“Once you start a lie, you must keep lying to maintain the facade. I always thought it must be so exhausting,” Sephiroth answered.

The flight was initially taking forever with the dread that each hour brought to Zack, to being far too short by the time they were nearing their destination. Funny enough, they made landfall in the Gold Saucer airport and then hitched a ride on a chopper all the way to Gongaga. And when they landed, Zack was sure he was going to be sick. It didn’t help seeing his mom waiting for him at the edge of the helipad near the reactor.

“Sephiroth?!” the ravenette gasped as he jerked his face over toward his mate.

“I made quick call to your mom, just to tell her we were on a vacation and that we were coming,” Sephiroth informed and Zack almost whined as the silverette climbed out of the vehicle, forcing him to do the same, the ravenette clutching his dufflebag to his stomach. Quickly he rounded the front of the chopper and caught his mate as he grabbed his suitcase from the chopper and turned toward him. Zack gave him a pleading look.

“You didn’t say anything? Really? I mean, we had that talk and all, but it was after-”

“I said nothing, Zack. All I know is that your parents were conversely both surprised and delighted to hear about your visit,” Sephiroth explained as he took the lead and walked in a straight line toward the small, slender figure of Zack’s middle-aged mother. Hurrying up and leaning to his left to whisper the ravenette was cut off.

“We couldn’t simply show up unannounced, Zack. I told them we were coming, that’s all. I’ll leave telling the truth in your hands,” Sephiroth said and Zack frowned as they slowed their pace and the ravenette froze the second the warm blue eyes of his mother slid from his mate to him. They was open, warm, and inviting, as he always remembered them. Though her hair looked more gray than the jet black it had been most of his life, and she still wore the same green band to keep her hair out of her face, along with a white and gray patterned dress he remembered. Her skin looked a little more loose too, with some fine line wrinkles around her eyes that deepened with the smile she gave him. Zack’s heart skipped a beat before dying and dropping into his stomach, prompting his eyes to drop to his feet.

“Honey?” his mother, Adina, asked as she looked up at her son before a small chuckle left her lips. “What did you do?” she asked and Zack nearly gasped when he jerked his face up to his mom’s face, all too aware of Sephiroth watching the exchange. “You always do that when you’ve done something bad. You didn’t get in trouble, and that’s why you came home, did you?” Adina asked, and Zack almost felt like he was going to have a dizzy spell from the way his heart raced in his chest. What was he supposed to say? Shit! Right off the bat and he was going to have to say something?! Why did his mom have to know him so fucking well?

“Hello,” Sephiroth greeted suddenly, stepping closer toward the older woman who turned her gaze up to him and then she smiled with a soft chuckle.

“Hello, my, you’re Sephiroth, aren’t you?” she asked, astonishment in her voice. The silverette nodded.

“I am. While I’m sure Zack and you may have a lot of catching up to do, it would be best we didn’t loiter here,” Sephiroth said and Adina made a small noise of realization before she chuckled softly and motioned for them to follow her.

“Of course, of course! My apologies,” Mrs. Fair said as her thin, short body took the lead and led the duo down to the small town. Already the humid heat was making Zack sweat and he frowned, his nerves weren’t helping any either, and he could feel a shake in his hands as they neared the town boundary.

“It’s been so long, Zack! I’m so glad you’ve come home for a visit, finally. We’ve only been asking for as visit for a couple years now. And now you’ve brought a celebrity with you,”Adina said with a chuckle when they walked up to the first set of quaint little homes. There wasn’t much to the place, and the population was barely a thousand. Everyone knew everyone, and the shopping mainly consisted of the local General store, the post office, the small clinic, and the school. There wasn’t even much of a park, kids just played all through the town, often times venturing out into places they probably shouldn’t, as Zack remembered getting into trouble for a lot when he’d been a kid himself. And of course, the reactor was always a source of fascination, which was why parents were constantly trying to make sure their kids stayed clear of it.

“Y-yeah,” Zack muttered uneasily when they walked down the roads and his heart nearly squeezed itself into an explosive ball in his chest when the school came up to his right. It wasn’t big by any means, there were only two large classrooms in the long building, and the kids were basically separated based on those that were in junior high and up, and those below. It was easier to get direct attention from teachers and get help on lessons, but classes were largely self-paced due to the varying grades being pushed onto a single teacher. But, that wasn’t what made him feel like giving the building a wide birth. 

Zack turned his face away when his heart gave into a nearly painful race, eyes suddenly hot when his gaze caught Sephiroth’s probing stare. The ravenette nearly tripped as the silverette’s gaze lifted to the school curiously before looking back at Zack who planted his eyes firmly on the ground and stared, body tense and shoulders bunched up as he picked up the pace, taking the lead in going back home. Back home to his quaint little home that as he stopped and looked, hadn’t changed at all. It was the same as it had been pretty much most of his life, a place he had shared so many happy memories, but it was also a place that brought another painful twist into his heart as he stepped up to the front door and pulled it open. It was unlocked, unsurprising since the small, sleepy town rarely had to worry about trouble, and stepped inside. The familiar smells filled his nose, thick and familiar, comforting and pleasant, assaulting his chest with a growing pressure as the heat in Zack’s eyes increased and he felt wetness come to the corners of his eyes.

“Thank you,” Mrs. Fair’s voice drifted in from behind him as the pair he’d left behind stepped through the door and stopped.

“Zack, honey? Are you okay?” Adina asked and Zack sucked in a deep breath and released it as he blinked back the hot pressure in his eyes.

“Yeah. It’s just been so long, I was kinda stunned I guess,” the ravenette muttered as he thought to finally relieve the tight grip on his dufflebag and turned a wide smile toward the duo behind him and forced a chuckle.

“The house hasn’t changed a bit. Just how I remember it,” Zack said and Adina smiled as she nodded and walked around him, allowing Sephiroth to step in and close the door behind him. In front of them was the main living area with the dining table just off center to the left of the door and the living room with its couches, coffee table, and TV to the right. Behind that was the large entryway into the kitchen where a counter cut out what could have been a wall separating the kitchen from the front of the house. To the left of the room in the far wall was a full bathroom and next to that was the door to a bedroom, Zack’s bedroom, and to the left of that was that a short hall that led to his parents’ master bedroom.

“Go put your things down in your room, Zack. Sephiroth, you are free to do the same or put your suitcase by the couch where we can deal with it later. Unfortunately, we don’t have much space so you’ll have to sleep on the couch,” Adina said as she walked away from the two and into the kitchen before reappearing in the opening the counter created as she returned to whatever she had been doing on the kitchen counter.

“Dad at work?” Zack asked, voice not as steady as he’d have liked it to be as he walked toward the familiar wood door of his room despite the uncomfortable race in his heart.

“Oh, yes. He tried to get today off, but they needed him,” Mrs. Fair said as the ravenette grabbed the doorknob to his bedroom and paused, unsure if he wanted to turn it. He hadn’t been in that room in so long.

“Are you alright?” Sephiroth’s voice just to the back right of his ear nearly made Zack gasp as he jerked to look at the silverette behind him, holding his suitcase still, clearly intending to put his things in Zack’s room too. It made sense, they were mated and shared a bed back in Midgar.

“Y-yeah,” Zack sighed as he twisted the knob and pushed his door open, staring through the opening as it grew wider by the swing of the barrier. Right in front of the door on the left side of the room was his Twin XL bed, in the corner nestled between the bed and the wall was a bedside table where a lamp sat with one to match on the other side. On the right hand wall was his desk, and then a bunch of junk shoved into corners, some boxes that he had left behind when he’d moved, and his little closet on the left hand side of the room. Stepping inside the air smelled dusty, and almost like something stale. Sephiroth slid past him and into the room, setting the suitcase down by the side of the desk before he straightened up and surveyed the room.

“It certainly smells like you in here,” the silverette noted and a short, bitter laugh broke from Zack’s lips.

“What? Like sweat?” Sephiroth went quiet as he watched the ravenette walk over to his old bed and drop his dufflebag down on it.

“No, your pheromones,” the silverette answered before he walked up the ravenette’s side by the bed and paused.

“I know that this wasn’t a place you wanted to go to, but if it’s too much, we can leave right now,” Sephiroth offered and for a brief moment, Zack’s blood rushed in excitement. The thought of running away, of getting away from this place was almost too appealing. But what would he say to his mom? His dad? A frown dipped Zack’s lips as his hands tightened into fists at his sides.

“No, not yet. I think, I think I just need a moment. Seeing the school wasn’t exactly pleasant, and even though I knew we’d have to walk by it, it still upset me more than I was expecting, stupidly,” Zack said, and a moment later he felt the very carefully placed weight of a hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked at his mate, and their eyes locked. He could see the question in Sephiroth’s expression, he shouldn’t have said that, he should have kept his mouth shut about that stupid school, though Zack was sure his reaction earlier must have given him away. Anxiety rocked his heart again as he waited, breath caught for the question to come. 

And then, his mate patted his shoulder and turned from him before walking away, saying nothing and allowing the tightness in the ravenette’s chest to ease. But with the ease, came an odd, empty, depressed feeling as he watched Sephiroth walk through the bedroom door and out into the main room. Zack stared for a lingering moment, then cast his eyes back to his bed, unable to stop himself from remembering the darkest times of his life until recently. With a dreary sigh the ravenette turned from his bed and walked out into the main room of the house where the sound of his mother’s voice and Sephiroth’s caught his attention. 

“Oh, you didn’t need to do that,” Adina said as the two emerged from the kitchen, Sephiroth holding a glass in each hand and his mom with a serving tray in her hands. They spotted Zack on the way to to the dining table and Mrs. Fair smiled as she gestured to the round dinner table with her head.

“I have some drinks and a snack for you two. Dinner won’t be ready for a while, and I’m sure you must be starved,” Adina said and a small smile made its way to Zack’s lips as he walked over to the dining table and took a seat before Sephiroth put one glass in front of him and then took a seat on Zack’s left.

“Thanks, Ma. Thanks, Sephiroth,” Zack said as his mom put the tray down in front of him, revealing chips. It was so like his mom, instead of just giving them the bag she’d spread them out on a nice serving tray and set it down, it was less noisy and looked better even though it was just potato chips. With a relieved sigh, Mrs. Fair dropped into a chair and to Zack’s astonishment, she grabbed a potato chip and slipped it into her mouth before chewing. The ravenette gawked.

“Ma?! When did you eat this ‘junk’ as you always called it?” the ravenette asked animatedly. 

“Ever since I thought I’d try it. Besides, the doctor has been complaining about my weight lately, so eating things like this are helping,” Adina explained and Zack frowned.

“You do look skin and bones. You were always skinny, but yeah, you could use some more meat on you,” the ravenette said and Mrs. Fair chuckled.

“Exactly. So, I thought I’d eat a little with you and chat,” Adina said before flashing a knowing smile to Zack and then flicked her eyes to Sephiroth.

“So… what brings Sephiroth here? Is this really a vacation? Or… is there something else going on?” Mrs. Fair asked with a scheming sound to her voice and Zack cringed a little before he busied himself with his strawberry lemonade. Sephiroth smiled at the petite woman.

“We really are on vacation. However, the crux of our visit is to inform of our bonding,” the silverette informed and Zack almost choked on his sour/sweet drink. Adina stared at Sephiroth for a long, wide eyed moment before looking to Zack who felt the heat in his cheeks without having to say anything.

“You… you two bonded?” she asked and the silverette nodded.

“Yes,” Sephiroth affirmed and an excited laugh bubbled up from Mrs. Fair’s lips as she looked between the two before focusing on Zack again.

“Oh, honey! I’m so happy for you! This is wonderful news! I was worried you’d never want to bond with anyone! And not only did you, you bonded with the hero of Wutai! That’s amazing!” Adina gasped excitedly as delight danced across her features.

“Oh! You must tell me how you two met!” she demanded as she jerked her eyes to Sephiroth who looked to Zack, pulling his mom’s eyes to him once again, and the ravenette’s throat tightened as he gave a hard fought, nervous laugh.

“L-later,” Zack forced out. Mrs. Fair energy tempered a little at the answer and she frowned.

“Later? Why?” she asked.

“Zack and I talked about it, and we agreed that he would be the one to tell you. He’s been shy about the story,” Sephiroth explained, giving Zack a small grace by sugar coating it, and though Adina looked like she’s maybe had a drink of pure lemon juice for a second, she heaved a sigh and relented. 

“Well, it is your personal affairs. I won’t butt in where I’m not wanted. But, as your mother, I would love to know how my baby met and bonded with his alpha. In fact, I think you’re the first alpha we’ve ever had in this house,” Mrs. Fair explained with a smile. “Zack’s father is a beta, a very big one, but a beta all the same,” she added. She then turned to Zack with another, sweeter smile.

“I’m so proud of you, honey. Truly, I am,” Adina informed and the ravenette hunched some in his chair, focusing perhaps too intently on his drink. She wasn’t going to be so proud of him later. Mrs. Fair stood up then, still smiling.

“I’m also pleased that you found an alpha for yourself despite what happened,” Zack’s mom said as she grabbed a chip and Zack tensed. “All that worry about no one ever wanting you turned out to be wrong, didn’t it?” Adina said as she walked back toward the kitchen and Zack jerked straight up in his chair.

“Mom!” he cried, a look of horror on his face. Mrs. Fair stopped and looked back at her son in confusion.

“Zack?” she asked. The horror bloomed all throughout Zack’s body, shaping the contours of his face more with each second that ticked by. “Zack? Did you… not tell him?” Adina asked before a look of horror dawned upon her own features as well as her hands went over her mouth. 

“Oh, Zack. I’m so sorry. It’s been years, I thought surely you would have dated a while before bonding. And you have not… oh, no,” Mrs. Fair muttered. Zack stared, stunned at his mom while keenly aware of Sephiroth’s presence at the table, and feeling a desperate need to move. He needed to move, he had to move. His entire body felt like it was going to shake apart if he didn’t do something! Shit, this was not how he had wanted this to go!

“I’m going to go get pop!” Zack blurted and stood abruptly. He didn’t spare a look at Sephiroth, he couldn’t bare to see his face. No, if he looked at Sephiroth’s face he might just crumble apart. Turning quickly away from the two and toward the door, Zack hurried out and closed the door behind him before stopping to try and catch his breath, to try to stop the intense heat burning his eyes as he sucked in breaths to try and calm the erratic racing of his heart. Fuck!

“Excuse me, if I may be so bold, could you tell me what this apparent secret is?” Sephiroth asked of Adina, who stood still in place and eyes downcast in remorse.

“I-I don’t know,” she muttered.

“I’ve been struggling to understand what is ailing Zack since our bonding. I thought he had Bond Anxiety, but it seems perhaps that’s not quite right. It would be much appreciated if I could learn so that I can better know how to help Zack. He’s been hiding things from me, and it worries me because it feels like he could spiral out of control,” Sephiroth said and Adina gave him a look of utter woe as she walked back to the table and sat down in her previous chair.

“Oh, my big mouth. My poor boy, I’m sure he’s so upset right now,” Mrs. Fair said. After a moment she took in a deep breath and released it slowly, blinking back the moisture building up in her eyes.

“Okay. I can’t undo what’s been done. And if you think it’ll help you, I’ll tell you. I wish Zackary had told you himself, though I suppose it was silly of me to have assumed,” she said.

“Sometimes, people let fear hold them back, and need help from an outside source to confront their fears and move forward,” Sephiroth said in urging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I wanted the reveal to be in this chapter, but after reading it over I want to completely rewrite that segment, so it's been pushed off for next chapter. DX But! We've had some more hints!


	12. What was Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth learns what the root of Zack's problems are and both must figure out how to go forward knowing the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Got this chapter out lickety-split! lol I don't think I have ever used that phrase before. Anyway, our pivotal reveal chapter is here! I hope I handled it alright in terms of pacing and whatnot. And thank you so much to everyone still supporting this story! ^_^ We are finally getting to the comfort! Finally!
> 
> Warning: Very heavy subject matter! Like seriously, a heavy and uncomfortable subject is talked about here. No descriptive detailing or anything like that, but it's events are talked about. I shall say what it is in the end of chapter notes, but if you don't want the spoil, just read on. If you do want to know what it is before you read, hit the end of chapter notes button or scroll to the bottom.

It took a few minutes for Mrs. Fair to collect herself and work through her regret for having spoken without thought. But after a few moments, she heaved a sigh and parted her lips to speak.

“When Zack was seventeen he was assaulted by his alpha friends during his first heat,” Adina declared bluntly and Sephiroth tensed, a grimace coming to his features. She ripped the bandaid right off, and the declaration sent a sharp bolt into the silverette’s chest. It was disturbingly not that uncommon and quite a social ill as well as a legal dilemma. But, it made sense actually. Zack did say he hated sex. And he had panicked when they’d been about to be intimate when not under any outside pressures.

“Everyone knew he was an omega because we had him examined as a child, which caused him to get teased a lot, particularly by other omega boys, about his appearance since even as a child he didn’t look like an omega, but he quickly learned to shrug the bullying off. And I guess because of the other omegas bullying him, he started hanging out with the alpha boys in town. Which I admit, as they got older, always worried me,” Mrs. Fair’s voice cracked a little and she took a breath before continuing. “I spoke to him about his coming heat, but no matter how much is spoken of it, the first experience is always so confusing. Omegas like us, it’s so easy to simply think we’re under the weather when we haven’t experienced it before. And so did Zack,” Adina sniffled and took a moment to take a breath and calm herself.

“Dizziness, fever, chills, becoming hypersensitive to touch… only later does arousal kick in, but once it does it rapidly spirals into the crippling symptoms everyone is familiar with. Zack had thought he’d caught a cold, and so still went to his football practice to tell his coach. But, even if he was still only in the starting stage, it was enough for his scent to lure in alphas. And he was attacked by those same boys he was friends with,” Adina’s breath caught and a distressed sound passed her lips. “He told me they each had their turn because his body grew too tired, too weak to fight back, but then after that, when it came to wanting more, they started fighting with one another. I think that might honestly be what had traumatized him the most at the time. Those boys started trying to tear each other apart, and judging from the bloody state I saw them in; I think they might have actually been trying to kill each other to get to Zack,” Adina explained, a soft sob hitting her voice.

“It was awful, and Zack was never the same after that. He was afraid to go to school, he went from confident and carefree to being on edge, on guard all the time. He constantly sniffed at the air, trying to locate where any alphas were, I’m not even sure he was aware of just how much he did it. He quit football, he stopped socializing with anyone in town. He was always unhappy, and he spent all his time in his room. I hated listening to him cry in his room and not being able to do anything soothe him. My words weren’t helping and there was nothing I could do. I looked into pressing charges, but because he was in heat without having done anything to try and control his pheromones, the law wouldn’t allow for it. I wish I had put Zack on suppressants before he ever went into heat, then maybe the whole tragedy could have been avoided,” Mrs. Fair sniffled. “But of course, they highly discourage that due the harm it could cause a premature omega.”

Sephiroth sat silent, taking in the heavy words while the weight of Zack’s past tightened his chest. It definitely made everything make sense. But then, if Zack was so fearful of alpha, why join SOLDIER? Did those pills Dr. Rade give him birth a false sense of security? Did he think that if he was disguised as an alpha that he would be safe? Perhaps he did. Unfortunately, even alpha were capable of being raped by other alpha, but he didn’t seem to consider it. Or maybe he simply thought without a heat he would be able to fend off an attack? And then Sephiroth remembered Zack’s heat induced, delirious words from the very first time they had coupled.

_“Please, I can’t wait.” … “It’s nothing special.” … “It hurts.” … “It’s what omegas are for, right?” … “It’s not a big deal.” … “Please, please help me.” … “It’s just a hole, do what you want.”_

He remembered his fear of being beneath him in bed, perhaps he felt trapped? Helpless? And his clear anxiety about being bonded; his bold declarations.

_“There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s my problem, not yours,”_

_“You’ve been fine! Okay! I just, I just hate sex! Okay! I hate touching! Even when I want it, I end up hating myself for it! I feel gross after orgasm! Sex makes me feel dirty! Happy?!”_

And even, what he’d said on the train.

_I was so determined to join SOLDIER, to prove that I was more than what everyone thought of me. That I was more than just an ugly omega. That my giant, alpha-like body could be good for something. That I could be the strong hero someone needed. That I could do it if I tried hard enough. But, I was always trapped by my omega biology._

It didn’t exactly all make sense. But the pieces were there.

“Did Zack start hating himself after the attack that you know of?” Sephiroth asked and Mrs. Fair nodded.

“He never paid being omega too much mind other than the occasional mean words he heard growing up. But after the attack, when I tried to talk to him once, he just blew up. He said he hated being an omega. He hated having heats. He hated being so weak. And I’m not sure why, but he started to refer to himself as those bullies did. He called himself ugly, stupid, no good as he was. He said that if he was so big and strong like an alpha, it shouldn’t have happened. He said he didn’t mind being called an ugly omega so long as he matched his alpha looks by being strong like one, but without that strength he was just an ugly omega. I was so scared he was going to hurt himself, and my husband was at a loss too. So when Zack said he wanted to go to the city, to get away from the countryside, we didn’t try to convince him to stay. And we didn’t pester him for visits once he was in Midgar. Even when he seemed like his old happy self over the phone, we just let it slide until a couple years ago. He’d been doing well long enough we thought maybe he was ready to visit home. But he always said he was busy,” Mrs. Fair explained. “I don’t know what to do. I wish I could make everything better. It’s a mother’s job to nurture and protect her children, but I feel like an abject failure.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Zack adores you, seeing you and your husband was the only definite positive he listed when we came,” Sephiroth informed. “I’m afraid the town around you is what his issue is, and no doubt, those alpha. I had hoped that we could meet and formally inform you and your husband of our bonding. But, perhaps we should have not come. I think I made a mistake in convincing him to do so,” the silverette muttered. Mrs. Fair looked at the General and frowned.

“So, he isn’t doing well back in Midgar? He seemed so happy when we called him, I didn’t realize he was trying to spare our feelings,” Adina said as she directed her gaze back to the table in front of her. Sephiroth paused, considering his words for a moment.

“I… I think Zack was happy. The job he had back in Midgar, the work he did made him feel fulfilled, and I think it satisfied all the needs he felt he had. He was strong, in a leadership role, people depended on him and he came through for them. He did good wherever he went, and he was popular with many friends. I think it may have given him back the confidence he had lost. But unfortunately, something has happened recently and he lost it all,” the silverette informed, and Mrs. Fair jerked startled eyes back to his face.

“He lost his job? How did that happen?!” she asked and Sephiroth shook his head.

“That’s part of what Zack and I agreed on that he would tell you about,” the General informed and Adina frowned before giving a nod. “Unless he tells me differently, I want to leave that in his hands.”

“Oh, now I’m just a bundle of nerves. I’m going to see what I can do to make it up to Zack,” Adina said as she stood up once again and heaved a shaky sigh.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you telling me will do our relationship good. I have a better understanding of what I’m dealing with now, though I do not know how to approach it. But hopefully I can navigate a little better,” Sephiroth said with a small smile that Adina gave back, though both looked a bit forced.

After that Mrs. Fair returned to the kitchen while Sephiroth drank his lemonade, turning over the large amount of information he’d just received. It was a lot to go through, to decipher, but he needed to be careful not to over analyze and come to conclusions that could be completely wrong. The best thing he could probably do was let Zack have the reins and lead him to where he needed to go, and only assert himself when he was certain his mate was about to make a mistake. Remembering their encounter on the couch certainly made it clear that Zack didn’t always make his choices calmly; if he had allowed himself to fall prey to the temptations of his mate, he could have made a very big mistake there. After Sephiroth finished his drink he took it to the kitchen where he found Adina rifling through books from a tall cupboard.

“Need help?” the silverette asked, drawing startled eyes to his face.

“Oh, no, I got it. I realized that if I tried to make everything Zack likes, I was going to empty my kitchen, and he might not appreciate all the fuss. So, I’m going to settle on his favorite hot cocoa cookie. He always loves when I make them, so I’m going to do that and surprise him later with them,” Mrs. Fair said before sighing.

“I wish I had something else I could do, but I’m at a loss,” she muttered.

“I… I’m not sure either. But, if they’re his favorite I’m sure he’ll be happy to have them after years of not having them,” Sephiroth assured, though he hardly felt confident in his assessment. It was going to be difficult to know what was going to happen when Zack undoubtedly returned, and the time afterword. It was going to be a difficult conversation, and the silverette wasn’t even sure if it should be brought up.

“Well, you can help me then. You can learn these little delights Zack likes so much and then you can make them for him in Midgar,” Mrs. Fair declared and Sephiroth froze for a second, unsure if he should tell her he had never baked anything in his life. Even with the food finally in his apartment, he made easy to make meals, or heated ready made ones. But, not wanting to reject such an offer, he nodded and awkwardly allowed the small woman he towered over to lead him over to the counter where a large and small mixing bowl sat, and he stood, looking like he could have belonged anywhere but at a kitchen counter to bake.

“We’re home!” an unfamiliar voice called, which could have only been Mr. Fair judging by the new scent accompanied by Zack’s as the front door closed. Sephiroth looked out of the opening created by the counter bordering the main living room and spotted his mate looking awkward as his father who shared clear genetics with him walked up to the counter, smiling when his eyes locked with the silverette’s.

“Wow, you really are the one and only Sephiroth, aren’t you?” he asked and Sephiroth nodded as the man then spotted his wife who waved next to the silverette.

“Welcome back, dear! We’re-”

“You’re making hot cocoa cookies?” Zack’s voice cut in, surprised, as he neared the counter, though he seemed to hesitate getting very close. The chocolate, cinnamon and marshmallow sugar bombs were already baking in the oven, with one batch cooling which would no doubt cue his mate into their existence. Adina smiled broad.

“Yes! And your mate made them all by himself! I just told him how much and when!” Mrs. Fair declared before shooting her husband a look. “Did Zack tell you he’d bonded?” she asked excitedly. It was a little odd, she was clearly trying to pretend like her mishap had never happened, though admittedly, it would help keep the mood from getting too heavy.

“Yes, he did. I even saw the mark,” Mr. Fair, Daniel, said with a chuckle as he patted his son’s shoulder at his side and shook him on his feet slightly despite Zack being nearly a head taller than him. The ravenette in response gave an awkward laugh. Needing to change the subject, Sephiroth turned into the kitchen and grabbed one of the cookies, it was still warm but not too hot, and stretched his hand out over the counter and in Zack’s direction.

“Here,” he said and his mate’s blue eyes snapped to the cookie in his bare hand, then to his face.

“Only one before dinner, but you can have it, honey,” Mrs. Fair said, drawing his eyes to her face before he looked back at Sephiroth who remained in place, hand outstretched. With only a brief moment longer of hesitation he walked closer and took the cookie before immediately putting it into his mouth and taking a bite.

“How is it?” the General asked and Zack nodded as he chewed and then swallowed, looking a bit stressed as he adjusted his footing nervously.

“Good. Never expected to see you in the kitchen baking,” he said and Sephiroth nodded.

“He should learn it! That way he can make it for you! I’m going to copy down the recipe for you two to take home!” Adina declared before she went back to the oven and pulled out from beneath the cookie sheet on the rack below, a covered roasting pan.

“And dinner is about done! Zack, can you please set the table,” she called as the ravenette started to quickly stuff the morsel into his mouth and chew as he nodded, looking slightly more relaxed before he rounded the short wall space separating the counter opening from the kitchen door and came inside where he immediately went to a cupboard behind Sephiroth to the left to grab plates. Daniel then turned and walked to the dinner table, sitting down with a tired sigh. His face was broader and his hair was considerably gray, but he definitely looked like Zack enough to easily be spotted as his father.

“So tired,” Mr. Fair groaned as Zack hurried out of the kitchen with his arms full of plates and began setting the table.

“You focus on your cookies,” Mrs. Fair ordered, reminding the silverette that he needed to check the batch in the oven and so moved over by where she stood getting ready to lift her roast out of the roasting pan.

Dinner had been awful. Zack hadn’t had the appetite at all, and forcing himself to eat had been depressing. Not enjoying good food was always depressing. Even though he hadn’t had his mom’s cooking in ages, he failed to really appreciate it sitting next to Sephiroth and knowing, knowing that he had to talk about it. Even if they avoided the talk after he’d left, Zack knew it would only make things worse if his own mate was left in the dark, not knowing what was going on. He could probably tell him he didn’t want to talk about it and Sephiroth would probably not say anything more, but he’d always wonder, and then it’d be Zack himself putting up the wall between them.

No, he was the one putting up the wall. Ever since the first rocky week or so the silverette had been trying. He was the one making things hard. He needed to talk about it, to explain it. He was certain Sephiroth wouldn’t be mad at him exactly, though he might be unhappy that he’d lied to him again, though technically he hadn’t. Ever since that day at school, he’d been lying constantly to everyone until he just couldn’t take it and he’d just blurt the truth at random times. Like how he’d blurted it before in Midgar.

After dinner Zack returned to his room, he thought about saying he was tired from the trip, but somehow found he just couldn’t quite muster the will power. So he just slunk off to his bedroom like he had used to back in his last year of high school, sat down on his bed, and stared at the floor between his sneakers. Not even a minute later he heard a soft tapping on his door and knew it could only be Sephiroth.

“You can come in,” the ravenette called as he leaned forward on his thighs, head hung low, his hair falling forward over his face. The door opened and then closed softly without a word, and he listened as booted feet walked across the floor until a shadow fell over him, and then his bed jostled when someone sat down next to him, depressing the mattress.

“Your mother told me what happened,” Sephiroth said softly and Zack’s face contorted in pain as his heart gave into a painful, unnatural rush before jumping hard against the inside of his chest.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, trying to calm it, but it wasn’t exactly working. Somehow it was easier to deal with his nerves before a big mission than it was to deal with all this bullshit. Fuck, why was he such a mess? Back when he was in SOLDIER he’d been able to put himself back together, hold his chin up, and finally be happy again. Yeah, he couldn’t be found out that he was an omega, but after a while he sort of forgot all about that. He was just… Zack Fair, SOLDIER. He’d made friends, and they liked him as he was. Though there were a lot of bad things that happened, like losing Angeal, he’d just been Zack Fair the whole time. Why was this so much worse?

“You… want to talk about it?” Sephiroth asked carefully.

“No,” Zack sighed as he lifted his hands and rubbed them over his face before sliding them back through his hair.

“But I have to,” he moaned.

“No, you don’t,” the silverette countered.

“No, I do. It’s not fair for me to keep trying to hide everything from you, especially when I do such a shitty job hiding the way I feel,” Zack said before dropping his hands between his slightly spread legs and heaved another deep sigh.

“So yeah, I was… attacked on my first heat. And… I dunno, I guess I’ve never felt safe after that,” Zack muttered before wincing. He said he’d talk, and yet he didn’t know what to say. His throat was closing up and his eyes were already feeling hot and damp. It was silent then as the ravenette struggled to ease the tightening of his chest through careful, steady breaths that he hoped were soft enough to keep his mate from noticing.

“I’ve decided that I won’t be mad at you anymore,” Sephiroth suddenly declared and Zack’s heart suddenly raced in his chest as a dumbfounded gasp broke from his throat.

“Huh?”

“About your lies. I hadn’t been able to fully forgive you for lying about being an alpha, for lying to get into SOLDIER. I felt… betrayed. And as I said, I have strong feelings about lies and deceit,” Sephiroth explained and Zack sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as water wet the corners of his eyes and he sucked in a sharp breath to try and stop the sob he felt coming. Of fucking course.

“But, I’m done with that because… I think I can understand why you felt the need. It still doesn’t excuse the wrongs you’ve committed, and I will never approve of what you did no matter your reasons, but I can understand I think, why you did what you did. And it’s… in the past. I need to let it go. So, I wanted to let you know that I have no ill will anymore. I just… want to help you feel better, somehow,” Sephiroth informed, pausing and stumbling somewhat in what he was trying to convey.

“You can understand?” Zack asked, his voice nearly catching in a sob as he curled in on himself.

“Yes. I can’t even imagine what it was like to experience what you did. But I can understand wanting to be more than what people think of you. To want to prove that you are more than the sum of your parts. To be strong and self-assured. To want freedom from a prison that suffocates you,” Sephiroth explained and Zack shuddered as water trickled down his cheeks and his heart fluttered awkwardly in his chest. Why did it sound like… Sephiroth was talking so personally there? It sounded so right too. Maybe they had more in common than Zack had ever truly considered.

“So, from this point on, it’s a clean slate between us. And if there’s anything you need, anything you want to say or do, tell me. I have no idea how to help someone through emotional trial or vulnerability, but I will do my best to support you. From what I understand, the you I knew before, the you from SOLDIER is the real you-”

“No, it was fake. This broken, pathetic liar of a man is the real me. The guy who still can’t let go what happened to him in the past,” Zack said, voice cracking with restrained emotion. The silverette was quiet for a moment.

“I don’t think so. From what your mother has told me, the real you is happy, confident, care-free, and fun-loving. This you that you are right now, is the you who is hurt. But people are not born hurt, nor are they meant to stay that way. I will not push you, I will not lecture you, but I will do my best to help guide you, though honestly I haven’t the first clue how. But, whatever you need, it doesn’t matter what it is, unless I think it’s detrimental, I will help you. It’s not much, but I’d like to see you overcome this, I know you can. You’re strong Zack, otherwise you’d have never made it to SOLDIER First in such record time,” Sephiroth said and Zack frowned, bottom lip trembling as he relaxed himself, not sure if he should feel comforted or not. Instead he just felt frustrated. A weight settled on the ravenette’s back, and then gently rubbed in slow soothing motions up and down, and after a second Zack relaxed slightly as he released a hard sigh and sniffled through his hot nose.

“Thanks, not sure it’ll work though,” the ravenette muttered.

“The first step toward recovery from anything is to realize you have a problem. The second step is to want to get better. Without that, you will stay in a rut and never change,” Sephiroth said before he paused.

“That’s what I’ve read anyway,” he added and a small, unexpected laugh bubbled up from Zack and he sniffled again as he lifted his face and rubbed at his wet, swollen eyes with shaking hands.

“You read a lot of books like that?” the ravenette asked.

“It started as self-help books trying to learn how to get better at socializing. Back when I first met Genesis and Angeal I struck out quite badly, particularly with Genesis, but they were the first people who seemed like I could maybe be friends with, who I thought could maybe in some small way, understand me. So, I started reading things like that, which led me to other types of material expanding from the subject,” Sephiroth informed and Zack choked on another laugh as his lips spread into an honest, but trembling smile. Zack finally looked up into the silverette’s face and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the soft smile curving the man’s lips with an almost alien softness in his eyes.

“Thanks, I needed that,” Zack declared, feeling a tremble still in his lips and body as he spoke and the silverette gave a huff through the nose.

“Laughing at my expense are we? Well, I suppose I can let that one slide,” Sephiroth said as he leaned away from Zack and then stood up.

“Would you like to come out into the living room? As I left to come here your parents were saying something about watching a movie before bed,” the silverette offered and Zack glanced back at his old bed with its old bedding. It smelled clean though so his mom must have washed it before they arrived.

“Nah, I feel really drained after today. I think I’ll go to sleep early like an old man,” Zack declared and looked back in time to see a smirk quirk the silverette’s lips.

“Okay then. I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight. But if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call on me or wake me,” Sephiroth said and the ravenette gave a nod before his mate walked over toward the door, looking over his shoulder as he exited to see Zack give a small wave. Once the door closed Zack straightened up, took in a deep breath until his chest fully expanded and released it as a loud sigh before he sniffled again and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. It felt a little less stuffy now, his chest felt a little lighter, and he was light headed from not breathing properly probably. But, hey, that talk could have gone way worse. But it had actually gone pretty well. Somehow he had thought it would be more dramatic, more negative, but it had been… simple. And somehow that just made him feel way better than he had expected. He really did luck out getting bonded to Sephiroth. The guy wasn’t anywhere near as cold as he seemed. He was literally just awkward, he even admitted it himself. A small smile curved Zack’s lips as his chest warmed. Sephiroth cared about him. And he’d forgiven him too. Somehow, that also made him feel loads better. Maybe… maybe he could make this work.

He couldn’t force himself to do things he totally wasn’t ready for of course, but he could push things a little, try to find things that made him happy, and work on his intimacy issues. Really what had freaked him out that morning was having Sephiroth on top of him, he might have been able to do some handsy stuff if that hadn’t happened. Once Sephiroth was on top of him like that though, he had felt trapped, vulnerable, and had freaked out. He didn’t hate sex, he didn’t hate pleasure, though he constantly felt guilt for enjoying it. But, he shouldn’t, he knew that. If it felt good, that was good, so he shouldn’t feel guilty unless he was doing something wrong. And in private by himself or with his mate, it was perfectly right to feel pleasure. And maybe, in time, maybe he could relax and not mind being held like that. Sephiroth had shown himself trustworthy twice, and the man had a good heart, a good head on his shoulders. So he was pretty sure the silverette would never try to coerce him into sex, which was a major plus. Fuck, if he had bonded to a guy like that, Zack’s heart gave into a brutal anxious pulse that physically hurt and he grimaced. No, he didn’t even want to try and imagine that. Instead, he had a guy who wanted him to be his best, and he was willing to support him and help him get there.

Zack pulled his sneakers and socks off before he twisted, grabbed his dufflebag and pulled it over toward himself to fish out a fresh pair of boxers. He’d shower, then go to bed. He could also poke in and see what movie they were watching. Zack smiled to himself again. The best part of it all was probably that he hadn’t spurned his mate. That was very good. Sephiroth knew the truth, he knew and he was ready to be there, to weather whatever emotional storm might come his way. Though Zack didn’t want to be a bringer of bad weather, it was comforting to know his mate didn’t resent him or show signs of putting distance between them. They could make this bond work. It wasn’t going to be loveless, it just needed work. And if both parties were willing to make it work, then miracles could happen. He just couldn’t give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Topics: rape


	13. So Fast, Yet So Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack makes some big moves and grows closer to those he cares for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Finally got a new chapter out! And hey, only three more left! Yay! ^_^ Got it all planned too, so things should go pretty smooth here on out! 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone reading and commenting, and leaving kudos! It really means a lot and is so encouraging. As a result, I hope everyone enjoys this new chapter!
> 
> And a shout out to my wonderful beta [PhoenixHideki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixHideki/pseuds/PhoenixHideki) for helping me out with this chapter!

The darkness that fell across the room was potent and near oppressive as the ghosts of moments past hung around, repeating themselves in a cruel cycle before his eyes. At one point Zack would have thought they had finally moved on, though in reality in SOLDIER he had just been pretending he didn’t see them. Maybe not all the time, but often enough. Now, back in his childhood bedroom that he became an adult within he could see and hear them too clearly, feel them with far too much intimacy. Zack’s strong, calloused hand, much stronger than it had been when he was eighteen, tightened into a fist, fingers clenching the sheet beneath them. His bed creaked a little more now, probably because he was a lot heavier with all the muscle he’d developed in training trying to become strong.

He’d caught a glimpse of himself from his graduation and it was surreal to see such a ghost of himself, so much more slight in comparison to how he was in the present, tall and lanky by comparison though he had been a very avid sportsman back then. His face was the most startling, so much softer, rounder, more like an omega than he was now even though he had not fit the expected look of one even back then. When Zack had left his room to get in the shower he’d spotted Sephiroth gazing at the frame, eyes focused on it and it made the ravenette’s heart twist as he watched. What did his mate think of his old self before he’d changed everything?

Zack sighed when he felt some pressure behind his eyes and rubbed his cheek into his pillow as he closed his eyes. No matter how much he changed outside he was still the same person. Nothing would change that he was Zack Fair. But, was that Zack Fair really worth all the heartache and frustration? Sephiroth stood there, so calm and resilient despite his faults, despite the bad things that he must have faced judging by what he’d said about Hojo. How did he deal with it? How did he just… exist as himself, fine to just be? At least he seemed like he was fine with himself. Zack pulled his knees up under his blanket, feeling keenly the emptiness at his backside; the lack of a warm pressure pressed against him. Right, Sephiroth was a snuggler in his sleep. A sudden spring of frustration welled up in the ravenette and he sat up, eyes gazing around his bedroom. It wasn’t haunted, it was just old, a place he’d lived and experienced things in, both bad and good. He wasn’t seeing ghosts, he was just remembering things. He’d made so many new memories, met so many new people, formed new relationships, so much so it was natural to feel alien in his old, outgrown space. 

Switching his bedside lamp on, Zack put his feet to the floor and glanced at the bedroom door. There was a weird pull in his chest, it made his heart tremble and twist, as if reaching for something beyond the door. Sephiroth’s warm, calm presence permeated Zack’s thoughts, his long silvery hair and how it fell around his face and down his back. The look of his firm skin stretched over a strong yet not overly square jaw. His eyes, even though they were entirely bizarre on a human, the bright green of that gaze flashed and held his mind in memory. Sephiroth’s lips were soft when he spoke, not particularly supple, but still ever warm and enticing when they moved and shaped the sounds needed for speech, and especially when he smiled. For some reason things were windy in the image in his head with a backdrop of Midgar in its twilight hour. Was it an actual memory from somewhere? Or was he just concocting something overly romanticized? Zack stood, walked over toward his door and grabbed the knob, hesitating a moment before he twisted the handle and poked his head out of the doorway. It was pitch black in the main room of the house, but he knew the place perfectly, though if he walked out he may still kick a chair or table leg. Well, Sephiroth did say he could bother him for anything, right?

Zack carefully walked softly across the floor, attempting to be quiet as he pushed forward in a black t-shirt and his baby blue boxers toward the back of the couch. He came to a stop when he heard soft, even breathing just below him and gently rest his hands down until they touched the back of the couch. His throat was tight, almost dry he discovered, when he swallowed and leaned over slightly, not enough to get too close, but enough to hopefully be heard in a soft, subdued voice.

“Sephiroth?” His voice sounded a bit rough and his heart suddenly raced in his chest, catching his breath by surprise for a moment as he waited, eyes wide in the dark as the couch cushioned squeaked when the supine figure shifted with a loud exhale in waking.

“Zack?” Sephiroth muttered, his voice unusually deep and thick, rumbling with waking as he sat up and Zack moved back when he felt the movement in the air. A moment later a light flashed into the air, making both men grunt as they jerked their eyes away a moment, though the silverette seemed to return to looking sooner than the ravenette when he next spoke as the light flashed off, allowing Zack to gaze blindly toward where he knew his mate sat.

“It’s one-thirty in the morning, Zack. Is something wrong?” the silverette asked and Zack shifted on his feet slightly before resting his hands on the couch again after having taken them away without realizing it.

“I was wondering if you’d sleep with me,” Zack asked and after a lack of response for a second he sputtered, face growing hot as he pulled back a little from the couch and ran his right hand back through his hair. “Like, sleep, sleep. I’m… I don’t know… I just… I guess,” the thought hit just before the words and all the air in his lungs spilled from him, emptying him, and if he had been able to see he was sure he would have been dizzy for a moment judging by the pressure he felt wave through his suddenly hot skull, “miss you,” he gasped out with the dizzying breath and the couch made noise again.

“Alright,” Sephiroth said simply and Zack felt his heart swell and warm in his chest even as a small kick of anxiety tried to shake it. A few moments passed with the sound of cloth moving in the dark before being dropped on what could only be assumed was the couch.

“Alright, we can go now,” Sephiroth said as the sound of his feet picked up and Zack hurried to catch up with the silverette as they made their way back toward the ravenette’s room. In the light Zack could see that Sephiroth was completely dressed minus his gear and boots, and smiled a little at the thought that his mate preferred to sleep in only his underwear, so of course he would go to bed fully dressed in the living room. Zack closed the door behind him as Sephiroth shrugged out of his duster before he began unbuckling his pants and pushed them down his legs on the other side of the bed by the wall where the other bedside table sat in the corner and settled down on the edge while he pulled the leather from his legs. The ravenette meanwhile sat down and hunched over, arms on his thighs as he took careful breaths to calm the pitter patter of his heart. It wasn’t like they were sleeping together for the first time, yet it felt like it was. It had to have been because it was his old bedroom. He’d never had anyone sleep in it with him before where only childish innocence and solitary, grieving adulthood had existed.

Sephiroth rolled onto his arm and scooted onto his side in the middle of the bed, prompting Zack to look over his shoulder and realize it was time to lay down as he watched his mate pull his hair back out of the way. Rolling onto his side, the ravenette’s head hit his pillow and he lifted up the covers and got inside before they shifted again with Sephiroth sliding in behind him. Zack lay tense for a moment, wondering if they would start on opposite sides of the bed as was the norm, or if Sephiroth would just go ahead and hug him like he always did in his sleep. Something about it brought tension; he wanted to be hugged, it was the only reason why he’d bothered to get up after all. And to Zack’s surprise, his mate’s body shifted closer as one arm slid beneath his pillow, the silverette’s hand met his own folded under his pillow while Sephiroth’s other hand slid forward and pressed their bodies close. Zack’s heart fluttered and a smile he couldn’t have stopped if he tried curved his lips in relief as he let himself go slack on the bed. Though there was a slight tickle at the base of his spine of an old anxiety that urged him to make some distance, Zack stubbornly ignored the sensation and resettled his hip.

“I suppose this is good then?” Sephiroth asked, breath hitting the shell of the ravenette’s ear and Zack’s heart fluttered hard in his chest. All he could get out was a grunt as he leaned forward and turned the light off before settling back against his mate’s chest, allowing the strong, powerful aroma of his alpha’s musk saturate his senses.

“Thank you,” Zack whispered after a brief pause and Sephiroth’s head shifted on the pillow behind his.

“You’re welcome. I much prefer this to be honest. It feels… good to be close,” the silverette said, voice growing softer and more breathy as he relaxed and allowed sleep to already begin its pull on his body. Zack’s lips quirked up into a small smile again and he rubbed his cheek comfortably on his pillow.

“Yeah, it does.”

Zack woke shrouded in warmth and a tight grip. Waking fully, he quickly realized he’d somehow been entirely enveloped by Sephiroth at some point during the night. The silverette’s arm had slid down from beneath his pillow and crossed diagonally across his chest, turning Sephiroth’s arm into Zack’s pillow while his mate’s other arm had slid down and tucked his hand under the ravenette’s lower side. As a result Zack was entirely encompassed and held close, clutched might have been more accurate of a descriptor, which was quite a bit more snuggly than usual for his mate. Sephiroth’s face was turned into his head in such a way that his mouth was dangerously close to the ravenette’s neck, allowing his breath to stroke the tender flesh with each exhale. Zack’s heart fluttered wildly, but not in such a bad way as he shifted, finding himself entirely stuck in position. Relaxing, the ravenette sighed as he shifted his feet against his sheets, frowning when he felt the growing warmth of morning arousal in his cock. 

Not new, not when the attractive musk of his mate pressed into his nose and the feeling of his warm skin pressing all around was his wake up experience. Sephiroth shifted perhaps with the small twitch Zack’s body made with waking and his arms shifted slightly, not enough to allow his mate freedom from his cage of arms, as his thumb started stroking the ravenette’s lower abdomen. Zack froze with the warming twitch in his dick growing worse with such a feather light, teasing caress. Zack’s breath caught as his heart gradually started to beat harder in his chest and his brows furrowed, unsure what to do as he controlled his breathing while his mate’s head shifted, nose adjusting to nuzzle the area at the base of his skull and near the back of his ear. There was a rumbling sound that filtered into the air from somewhere in his mate’s chest as his arms shifted and gave Zack an unconscious squeeze. The ravenette’s face flushed, excitement daring to rear up as he remained frozen, unsure what to do, liking the casual, sensual touching but afraid to move or say something should he disrupt the timid hope that maybe he could experience what he almost had not too long ago.

And then there was a twitch in Sephiroth’s muscles and Zack tensed, breath catching in his expanded chest as the rubbing stopped and the arms shifted slightly, but not enough to constitute an actual move. Sephiroth was awake, there was no doubt about that now that his breathing pattern had changed, had even held for a second as an energy that hadn’t been present before filled his mate’s body. The hand tucked under Zack twitched free slowly before hovering, as if unsure. Zack’s heart beat harder, so much so he could hear it in his ears as heat flushed through his body. Carefully, with trepidation, the hand gently touched his abdomen just above his boxer line. The move was deceptively casual, reminding Zack of the lame arm stretch move guys liked to do on dates.

The fingers gently rubbed, and the ravenette’s toes curled with the swelling of his cock until it tented his boxers and offset the flap, allowing some cool air to rush in. Zack swallowed carefully, afraid the slightest move would somehow end the incredibly tense moment as he closed his eyes, as if somehow feigning sleep would encourage his mate, though in hindsight it was rather silly and pointless. The scent of alpha grew stronger with the growing smell of arousal pressing in around Zack and he swallowed as slick began to leak from his ass while the tip of his cock created a little wet spot against the front of his boxers near his left hip. The ravenette drew in a shallow, shaky breathy, hands twitching from their spot on the bed as he attempted to decide if he should relax and lean in or remain in place. Yet anxiety kept him pinned in place, unable to decide what to do.

A breath hit the back side of his neck and a shudder ran down Zack’s back, birthing a strong throb in his dick as a humming filled his muscles and brain. Anxiety grappled with desire as his mate’s fingers began to toe the line of his boxers, curiously pushing the boundary and Zack’s teeth grit as arousal spiked higher, but with the climb of excitement tension increased in his muscles. He wanted it, and yet he was ashamed to want it; it made him feel so damn dirty. He needed to relax, it was okay, he was allowed to want it and like it, and yet he remained fixed in place as if made of stone. And then came a sigh, followed by Sephiroth’s arms unwinding from around Zack as the man slid his arms from around him and sat up, shaking the bed as he did so.

Hot pressure hit the back of Zack’s eyes and his lungs stuttered, shame punching him square in his chest. He hadn’t reciprocated, even though he wanted it, he’d been so stiff, it was no wonder Sephiroth was quitting. Panic assailed the ravenette’s heart then as water wet the sides of his eyes before he jerked up and grabbed out blindly for his mate’s forearm from where he sat about to stand up. The silverette froze and turned green eyes over toward the ravenette who sniffled once and blinked back the water in his quickly drying eyes. His lips parted, but his throat was too tight to speak as the heat in his face climbed higher and higher until his ears were buzzing with stress. He was fucking up again. Why did he have to be so fucking weak and wishy washy about something that was such a no brainer for most people?

“Do you… want me to, Zack?” Sephiroth asked, eyes locking with the ravenette’s, not daring to bring attention to anywhere else. Zack’s throat felt absolutely tight, so much so he struggled to suck in a breath as he nodded. He felt so fucking dumb, why did it have to be difficult? The silverette gave a single nod as he turned back onto the bed and leaned forward on one arm and twisted toward the center of the bed while extending his hand to gently graze his mate’s cheek. He came in closer and Zack’s breath stopped for a second as the burning heat in his face grew to near unbearable heights while his heart ricocheted around in his chest. And yet, despite the intensity, it wasn’t exactly bad as his mate leaned in closer and angled his head sideways, his hair falling to the side and pooling in Zack’s lap and over his tented boxers. Sephiroth was asking for silent permission, and when the ravenette did not pull away he inched closer until his breath fanned Zack’s lips.

“You need to breathe, Zack,” Sephiroth said with a quirk of his lips and his mate released a hard puff of breath before his lips were kissed. The contact was chaste, soft, and lingering before the silverette pulled back. He scooted up and laid down in the position he’d been in before and Zack laid back over on his side again, hands pulling to his chest in not knowing what to do with them as Sephiroth slid an arm under his side while the other slid down to his hip, and then down his tented out boxers. A kiss was placed softly to the back of Zack’s head, intimate but not too daring as his mate’s hand brushed over the taut fabric before reaching in through the flab.

A deep intake of air filled the ravenette’s chest to full capacity before stuttering out as long, calloused fingers wrapped around the length of his cock and he was carefully pulled out of his boxers. Seeing the action drew an awkward, embarrassed grunt from Zack’s lips, prompting him to close his eyes and turn his face into his pillow, exposing the full tender length of the right side of his throat as his mate’s fingers slid up to the wet head of his cock and thumbed the leaking slit, drawing a tight lipped groan from the ravenette.

Sephiroth said nothing, just touched his forehead against the backside of Zack’s head as he rubbed the sensitive tip, inducing sparking jolts of pleasure through his mate’s cock to his balls, igniting a fire in his belly and drawing a stifled groan from Zack’s closed mouth. The ravenette tensed when Sephiroth’s palm wrapped around his cock and gave him a squeeze as his fingers massaged the warm, firm flesh, inducing more waves of pleasure through the sensitive tissue before using some of the leaking fluid from the tip to give a pull toward the base where a thick nest of dark curled hairs flourished before thinning up to his mate’s navel, and Zack’s hips twitched. It felt good, and the ravenette’s toes curled as Sephiroth’s hand set into motion at the wrist, sliding his hand up and down Zack’s dick, eliciting powerful sparks of pleasure with each tight stroke, increasing the slick the leaked from his cock and ass as his mate set into a faster pace up and down, firm but not too tight. Low groans oozed reluctantly from Zack’s panting, pillow pressed face as his mate’s stiff cock touched his ass, but did not seek pleasure as Sephiroth’s breath quickened with his growing excitement, which somehow only made the strong pumps of Zack’s cock even more pleasurable as the waves came faster and harder, sharper with each stroke of pleasure as the thread of release tightened in the ravenette’s lower belly.

Zack’s hips ended up timidly rocking against Sephiroth’s fist, enjoying the tight stroking slide up and down his cock, pumping faster and sending the scattering sparks even faster until his mouth broke open in subdued, panting moans as he rocked a little harder into the silverette’s hand while he rode the wave of pleasure unfurling in his belly with the tightening of coming orgasm. Still no words came as Sephiroth thumbed the soaking wet head in repeated motions, eagerly sending a powerful jolt through Zack who's back tensed, muscles tightening as his chest bowed forward with a sudden and powerful snap of orgasm. A loud, shrill gasp broke from the back of the ravenette’s throat as his hips jerked hard against the hand squeezing his twitching cock as cum spurted from the flushed head and onto the sheets toward the edge of his bed. Zack’s feet jerked, legs tensed straight as his mate massaged his cock slightly, encouraging his lover to empty all of himself until the tension in the ravenette’s muscles depleted and he went slack against Sephiroth’s chest. Heart beating hard in his chest Zack gasped in deep, slow breaths as the adrenaline rush bled from his system before he finally moved his hands, which shook in the aftermath. It was the first time, the first time he’d been touched by someone else when he’d wanted it. And it had been as exhilarating as much as it had been terrifying. But, Zack realized that the fear had been entirely unwarranted, and in truth he hadn’t even known why he was scared, just that he had been.

Coming down from the high Zack became aware of his mate’s stiffened cock against his ass as Sephiroth planted a few more kisses to the back of his head, and the ravenette’s heart thrummed as his cheeks warmed all over again. Nervously, shyly, Zack carefully rolled over and his mate allowed him to until they were chest to chest, though the ravenette kept his head tucked down as he stared at Sephiroth's muscular chest. It was only fair, and though he was suddenly very much anxious all over again, it oddly wasn’t as terrifying as being touched himself. But he should, he should return the favor.

“You don’t need to,” Sephiroth murmured but Zack ignored him as he slid his right hand down to the wet spotted bulge in his mate’s black briefs. Even as just a bulge the man was impressive, and Zack wondered how the hell he’d taken it in the meeting room. Though admittedly, his body was rather designed for it. Having none of the finesse of his mate Zack slid his hand into his mate’s underwear and grabbed the warm, firm organ and carefully pulled it up and out while his other hand pushed his Sephiroth's briefs down. A soft breath came from the silverette as his left hand lifted up from behind Zack and stroked through his hair. Zack stared for a moment at the flushed, pulsing organ in his grip. Yeah, Sephiroth was fucking huge; as he thought he would be.

Heat burned Zack’s face as he pressed his face awkwardly into the muscular swell of Sephiroth’s chest and wrapped his hand around his mate’s cock and gave it a stroke, which earned him a low rumbling grunt from the silverette before he adjusted his hold and took a deep breath before releasing it as he used his other hand to find and rub at the flushed head of his mate’s cock. A low breath of pleasure whispered past Sephiroth’s lips as Zack slid his fist up, allowing his palm to rub over the leaking slit before he slid his it back down, earning a low rolling sound from his mate before a kiss met the top of his head. The silverette’s other hand wrapped around Zack, holding him in an embrace as the ravenette made work of the building slick to pump his fist up and down Sephiroth’s cock, earning soft little groans and grunts of pleasure that broke free in between soft pants of pleasure.

It was hot and sweaty between their bodies even though they didn’t quite touch as Zack did his best to make it feel as good as he knew how given how much he troubled over something as simple as masturbation almost half of his life while rubbing the extremely sensitive, slick head, stroking the length, and using his other hand to massage Sephiroth’s swollen balls just beneath the band of his boxers. Sephiroth’s breaths grew more ragged and fast as his breath disturbed the natural spikes of Zack’s hair in between passion fueled kisses of pleasure while the silverette worked his fingers with increasing urgency in stroking through his mate's hair. Sephiroth’s body started to tense with his growing sounds of low pleasure as shuddering energy worked through his powerful muscles, the strong smell of alpha male sex permeating the air between them as Zack stubbornly pumped the cock in his fist faster, determined even if he couldn’t look without feeling that annoying feeling of shame. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, dammit. Why couldn’t his brain just get that?

“Z-Zack,” Sephiroth grunted in between hard pants before his body tensed, powerful quivering working through his muscles as his hips jerked hard against Zack’s hands as he subconsciously shoved his cock through his fist while cum spurted thick and heavy over his mate’s hand and onto the bed sheets between them while crushing Zack’s upper body to his chest. The ravenette gasped and tensed in return, holding his breath along with his mate for a lingering moment until the tension eased in Sephiroth and he slowly relaxed from the high with a long, relieved sigh. Releasing his own breath, Zack let himself go limp while a kiss was pressed to his head again as Sephiroth’s hand resumed stroking his fingers through his hair to his scalp, now much more leisurely in pace.

“Thank you, Zack,” Sephiroth murmured as he closed his eyes and nuzzled the top of his mate’s head with his nose before inhaling deep his scent and relaxing entirely. A strange relief washed over Zack, relaxing to the point he became boneless in his mate’s arms, eyes still closed. It was only a moment later that Sephiroth pulled his left hand away long enough to find the blanket and yanked it up over them and angling his head enough to rub foreheads while his hand cupped Zack’s upward facing ear, the other still at the back of the ravenette’s head, not particularly worrying about messes at the moment.

“I never pegged you for such an affectionate snuggler,” Zack muttered and Sephiroth gave a soft laugh.

“I’ve never been mated before. It feels natural and good to be like this with you,” the silverette informed and a small, content smile curved Zack’s lips from where he lay, eyes closed.

It was a very rude and obnoxious knock that jolted the pair awake. Sephiroth jerked up, eyes snapping to the door while Zack himself nearly jumped out of bed, and probably would have if he had not instead tumbled almost over the bed from being trapped in his mate’s arms.

“It’s almost eleven you two!” Mrs. Fair said with a clear smile in her voice and Zack heaved an exaggerated sigh as his face flushed hot.

“Damn, I guess we slept in,” Zack muttered as his mate extracted his hands and allowed the ravenette to pull himself up and put his feet to the floor. Seeing his dick hanging out of his boxers made Zack’s heart jerk in his chest and he quickly pushed himself back inside while hunched over. Glancing over his shoulder Zack was graced with the sight of Sephiroth naked after apparently having stripped off his briefs as he walked around the bed over toward where he had left his suitcase the day before. Pulling it up onto his mate’s childhood desk, the silverette opened it and pulled out a fresh pair of underwear and slid them up his muscular legs before he turned to look at Zack with a quirked brow.

“Do you want to wear soiled boxers, Zack?” he asked and the ravenette’s face felt a bit too warm to the touch, a rather constant since the night before, and sheepishly walked over to his mate’s side to grab his diffulbag and bring it back to his bed.

Once the two were dressed in clean clothes and washed up a bit in the bathroom sink after looking for any evidence on their person of their earlier activities, and Sephiroth had taken care of the knots in his hair, they were out in the main room of the house. It was awkward to say the least. Zack’s mom kept throwing looks their way, particularly at her son with a look in her eyes that just screamed she knew exactly what they’d been done. It made Zack feel like a teenager up to no good, which didn’t help him relax in the slightest. After eating something small so as not to ruin the coming late lunch, Sephiroth looked at his mate sitting next to him at the dining table.

“I was thinking of having a walk around town. Would you like to come?” he asked and Zack tensed, his heart dropping suddenly into his chest as his face paled a bit at such a thought. Turning his eyes away, the ravenette ran his hand back through his hair and scratching before dropping his gaze to the table.

“Nah. There’s nothing for me out there. I think I’ll stay here. But you can go if you want,” Zack muttered and after a moment the silverette nodded and stood up in his black button down shirt that just had to show some of his upper chest, and a pair of dark gray jeans that clung to him far too appreciatively.

“Alright then, I will. I will let you know what I find,” Sephiroth said when Adina came in with a smile.

“You should tell everyone that you're Zack’s mate! Make some of those snooty omegas out there jealous!” Mrs. Fair suggested with a small, warm laugh and Zack groaned as he rubbed his forehead with his hand while his mother chuckled more energetically.

“I certainly will,” Sephiroth agreed with a small smile that could be heard in his voice and Zack felt his heart flip in his chest as his cheeks warmed. When he heard the General’s boots walk toward the door, the ravenette looked over his shoulder to watch his mate open the door and glance at him on his way out, giving a smile and nod as he stepped out and closed the door.

“Honey,” Adina said as she took a seat at the table in front of Zack who had put his face down with his arms stretched out in front of him. The tone of her voice and abrupt call for his attention made the ravenette’s stomach churn a little as he lifted his face and gave his mom a big, clearly nervous smile that showed too much teeth.

“Yeah, ma?” he asked.

“Sephiroth mentioned something about losing your job to me,” she stated and Zack’s expression soured, eyes growing a little wider before he directed his eyes to the table, his nose touching the table as he pulled his arms back until his hands rested flat at the sides of his head. “He wouldn’t elaborate since he said that you wanted to tell me,” she finished and Zack held his breath for a moment, frustration twisting his heart. Of course, he forgot he still had that landmine waiting to go off. “Could you please tell me about it, honey?” she asked and Zack shifted his shoulders but said nothing. Silence fell between the two for a long moment before finally, unable to stand the growing tension in his chest and the total plummet of his mood, Zack heaved a loud, mournful sigh.

“Yeah, I lost my job,” he muttered in despair.

“How? Was it cut backs? I have no idea what it’s like at a superstore like that,” she pressed and Zack tensed, teeth grit for a second before he heaved another sigh and took in a short, sharp inhale through the nose. Bad idea, it made his heart race suddenly.

“No. Ma, I… I never worked at a superstore, or any store… actually,” Zack informed with a wince that couldn’t be seen. He waited then for the next response, trying to guess what the reaction would be after admitting to a lie.

“What did you do in Midgar?” she asked, her voice very careful and soft.

“I joined the army,” Zack blurted, followed with a groan, and he could feel the change in the air, stifling so as his mother sat in unnerving silence.

“Omegas can’t join the military, honey,” she said, her words and tone more clipped. Zack’s hands lifted up onto his head, as if shielding himself as he nodded, his forehead bumping the surface as he made to tuck his chin toward his chest from his bent over position.

“Yeah… I lied to get in,” Zack informed, the cringe clear in his voice.

“Zack… what did you do?” Adina asked, her voice taking on a motherly scolding tone.

“I faked my birth certificate after the fire. And I… I got a fake ID. And I started taking these off market suppressants that totally wiped away any evidence that I was an omega,” Zack explained, forcing the words out on the same breath until he could barely make a sound at the end before going silent once more, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“You mean to say if I go get a copy of it this afternoon it will say you are an alpha?” she asked, her tone reproachful and Zack swallowed past the hard slam in his chest, prompting his throat to clench.

“Yeah,” he breathed. Her chair squeaked and Zack tensed, every muscle locking tight as his heart shot off at a frantic pace with a sudden surge of intense and barely tolerable anxiety.

“Zack… I am so disappointed in you,” Mrs. Fair said before he heard the chair slide across the floor again, probably back into the table, followed by the sound of her feet walking away. Chancing a glance up at the peculiar reaction he watched as his mother walked into the kitchen. Zack lifted his head more and then sat up, staring as his hands came to rest on the table. His throat was tight and his heart wouldn’t stop slamming in his chest as he picked himself up from his chair and timidly made his way toward the kitchen threshold. Inside his mom was pulling out cookbooks, clearly trying to distract herself.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to force out, his voice shaky and tight.

“For what?” his mom asked.

“For lying,” Zack said, eyes growing hot and damp as he stared at her slight form. “For breaking the law. For tricking everyone around me. For keeping secrets,” Zack said, voice catching in the back of his throat as he spoke. Adina pulled her eyes from her book then, sighed as she put it away, and then turned toward her son. As soon as their gazes met the ravenette reflexively jerked his eyes down to his feet in shame.

“Zack,” she called softly as she walked up to her son and cupped his face, turning his eyes up just enough to meet her lower, upturned gaze.

“I’m sorry, Ma. I’m a big, dumb, idiot. I just… I wanted to be someone else, to be the hero for someone who needed it, you know?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly as water wet his eyelashes as the pressure in his eyes and chest increased drastically, the point he could barely breathe.. “I wanted to be strong, stronger than anyone, I wanted to protect…”

“The old you?” Adina asked and Zack’s bottom lip trembled as his brow tensed with the coming of a sob as he turned his face away and put his face in his right hand. It was true, he never put words to it, but it was always there-the notion. If someone had been there that day when he’d gone into heat, if someone had saved him from the beginning. If he’d been stronger, if he’d been the hero instead of the victim. Why couldn’t anyone have saved him from that experience? He had needed someone like SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair. But no one had been there, no one had helped him, not until it was too late. And finally the sob wrangled free from the back of his throat was water trickled down his cheeks before his head was pulled on, and he allowed himself to half sink, half fall to his knees as his head was pulled into his mother’s chest. It was amazing how such thin arms felt so strong as they caged him in a hug. God, it fucking hurt. His heart felt like it was about to just burst into a million pieces as he pulled his strong hands up and grabbed hold of the back of mother’s dress.

“I’m sorry, Ma,” he sobbed.

“Shhh… you’ve apologized enough, Zack. I know, I know baby,” she whispered and the explosion finally went off, breaking the tight thread in his chest he hadn’t realized had been there for years as his mouth broke open and sobs spilled free without hindrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did okay!


End file.
